To whom it may concern:

My family and I visited your center on July 27, 2007.  We had a nice time and enjoyed every part of our visit except for the end in your gift shop.  Apart from the annoyance of it being blisteringly hot in the shop, we were accosted by an individual whose name I don't recall, but I'm sure, once you read this letter, you will know exactly who I am referring to.

Your shop was selling polished stones and magnetic stones "by the bag".  The listed prices were $4 for a small bag of polished stones, $7 for a large bag of polished stones, and $5 for a bag of "sticky stones".  There were no other signs posted indicating how many stones should be in a bag or any other special requirements. We had purchased some bags of stones just like these at the Polar Caves the day before where we were encouraged by the staff to "stuff the bag".

While I was sweating in the heat (it was 90 degrees outside) and selecting stones that might look good in my still life photographs, I was approached by an elderly gift shop employee who said to me "Just to let you know, you aren't allowed to overfill the bag, it has to close."  My bag was not overflowing, but it was bulging because I was trying to pack it tightly.  I took a few stones out of my bag and closed it.  I was then informed that the bag must close "comfortably" and that if I tried to buy the bag as it was "they will catch you at the register".  Given the heat (and the miserliness of your staff) I was running out of patience and said "I'll just pay a couple of extra dollars at the register if it is an issue."

I'd like to point out that having already spent well over $50 just to get my family into your center for the afternoon, and another $15 in the café for snack food, and being about to spend about $60 for gift shop items, I was offended that I was being hassled over a few pennies worth of rocks.

When I arrived at the register, the cashier was completely unfazed by my bags of stones and began ringing them up.  Within seconds the same woman swooped in and informed the cashier that I could not purchase my bag of "sticky stones" because it was overfilled.  I immediately said to the cashier "it's hot, I'm not going to go fill a second bag, please charge me two extra dollars."  I could have easily closed the bag by removing only a few stones, but I figured that offering far more than the extra stones were worth should be good enough.

The cashier seemed to think that would be fine and repeated my offer to the officious employee.  I was being more than generous, and yet, it wasn't good enough.  I was informed I would have to buy a second bag of stones.  So I set the bag aside and informed the cashier that I wouldn't be purchasing it today and made clear with my tone that I felt the entire exchange was patently ridiculous.  At this point, the officious employee launched into a speech about how your center is a nonprofit organization, as if I needed that explained to me.  I didn't appreciate the implication that I was somehow being greedy.  I am an Audubon Society member, and I always donate when I visit wildlife sanctuaries even though as a society member I am not required to do so.  Someone was being greedy that day, but it wasn't me, having sunk a total of about $125 into your coffers for a 3 hour visit.

I waved the obdurate woman away and reminded her that I had just offered to pay extra.  Nonprofits don't turn away money when it is offered without strings, so this had nothing to do with your center's nonprofit status, and everything to do with someone who doesn't have enough important things to worry about.  Nonprofits are typically very flexible, because flexibility equals greater donations and thus allows the nonprofit to do more for the greater good.  I'm sure I don't have to explain that to you, but clearly you need to explain it to a certain intransigent member of your gift shop staff, because it cost you $7 during my visit, and since I was so insulted and angered, I don't really see myself or my family returning to your facility again, which means it probably is going to cost you quite a bit, considering that only minutes before my wife and I were talking about purchasing a membership.

The irritating woman left and the cashier apologized to me and made clear with her expression that she too felt the other employee was being unreasonable.  At the very least, if you are going to sell items "by the bag" and are going to impose stringent restrictions on what a bag can contain, there has got to be a more sensible way to do it than to have an employee hovering over customers and pestering them.  Like perhaps a sign that says "No More Than 12 Stones Per Bag" or an example bag with a sign saying "Your Bag Should Look Like This".  Or simply sell the stones individually.

Though in the future I will certainly encourage folks to visit your facility, I'll be cautioning them about the gift shop.  When folks visit such shops we know we are paying too much given the value of the goods, but we do it anyway because it is for a good cause.  The last thing one should do in such a situation is harass the visitors and needle them for more money.  I would have thought that was obvious.

Many years ago (I was estimating '92 but actually it was around '97), I hatched a dream of becoming a photographer, perhaps a wildlife photographer because I was so into bird watching.  I was doing software for a living, and though I was pretty good at it, I wasn't getting the satisfaction out of it that I once had.  Friends I discussed the idea with encouraged me to pursue the dream, and so I started researching the equipment.

On line discussion fora were not as prevalent in those days, back then USENET was the place to go to ask questions.  (When Google first appeared, once of the biggest deals about it was the ability to search USENET newsgroup postings... now that functionality doesn't even appear on the main page.)  So it was on USENET that I began to do my research.  I noticed a lot of messages from people getting started in photography and wanting advice on what equipment to buy.  And I noticed anyone professing a desire to become a professional would receive at least some discouraging messages along the lines of this industry is very competitive, and it's very hard to make a living doing this, and various other messages that basically amounted to you will probably fail, so don't get your hopes up.

One of my initial forays received a few of these sorts of messages.  At the risk of reliving a dream that died, here's a link to my original query on rec.photo.technique.nature.  And among the positive responses, there were a couple less positive ones:

...there's some chance you can supplement your income someday, but if that's a primary motivator, better to take a course in
becoming an auto mechanic where you can get $60 an hour for labor...this field is ultra competitive and over saturated with very talented people who love what they're doing, work for nothing or close to it, and turn out fantastic images by the ton...anyone who NEEDS to supplement their income would not choose this as a way to get that done quickly. it just doesn't happen that way.  i don't mean to insult your abilities or anything, but i do believe that you've really got this figured as being much easier than it really is...

...You need to learn the basics before you do anything else. And not to discourage you, by all means pursue your passions and dreams, but what the publishing world really doesn't need now is another 'great' photo of that bear or moose. You will find that taking great photos, and selling them are two entirely different things. Unless you are a prodigy of some sort, it will take you years of hard work and learning before you will even be capable of matching the quality of work that the industry is already inundated with, so start with learning and mastering the basics before moving on to the 'big game,' and in the meantime start saving your $$ for those big lenses. Once you do produce publishable quality work, your skills and talents at marketing will be more important than your photographic skills, even if you are only trying to 'supplement' your income...

 Messages like these left me very discouraged when I started trying to become a photographer and I began the journey with a used Nikon 8008s 35mm SLR expecting to fail.  After only a couple months of dealing with the exorbitant cost of film developing, I did indeed give it up.  I just couldn't afford it.  But the dream of becoming a photographer never went away, and resurfaced a few years later when I purchased a used Konica Q-M100V digital camera which took appallingly low resolution pictures.

Eventually I graduated from the Konica to a Canon Digital Elph S500 PowerShot, still a point-and-shoot, but it took better quality images.  Now 10 years later, I've come full circle and have gotten an SLR again, but a digital one this time.  And again I am nurturing the dream of becoming a photographer full time.  So (almost on impulse) I ordered the MOO cards depicted above to use like business cards as I begin trying to turn that dream into a reality.  Maybe nothing will come of it, but this time I feel a little more urgency, as I am now pushing 40, not getting any younger, and very conscious of my mortality.  I've already come a lot further this time than last time, and I hope to go further yet.

I was kind of stoked when the MOO Cards arrived... like my Dad, I am excited by possibilities.  So I posted the picture you see at the top of this article to my flickr photostream, and let slip that I was thinking of turning pro.  I received two comments.  One from my best friend, James, and one from an online acquaintance I met on flickr.  James, being a friend,wished me luck in a manner I know was heartfelt.  The other person?

You better find another way to earn a living. None makes money being a photographer these days, unless you intend to do weddings.

I give this other individual the benefit of the doubt, but, what is it with torpedoing people's dreams?  Is this a common occurrence?  Is it just that other people have pursued a dream and it hasn't worked out and they want to prevent others from experiencing disappointment?  I thought about it for a long time.  Then I heard my daughter come downstairs and called her into my study.  We had the following conversation:

ME: Do me a favor.  When you get a dream for what you would like to do with your life, don't ever let anyone try and talk you out of it.

HER: What did you read online?

ME: Huh?

HER: Usually when you talk to me about something serious like this, it's because you've read something online that offended you.

 Smart kid, huh?  So I told her about how right after she was born I began trying to become a photographer, and how some people had discouraged me, and how I had let those discouragements color my thinking.  And yes I had found some of those original comments online and had just received another.  I told her that it is a two way street, that people can try to talk you out of your dreams, but only you can let them do it.  I think she got the message.

And as for me?  I have nothing against shooting weddings.  I think I would like that.  When I went digital, I started shooting portraits and discovered that I love taking pictures of people and particularly faces, and went a little nuts doing so.  So if I get to the point where I feel competent enough that I wouldn't produce crappy photos, weddings would definitely be something I would want to do.

And as for the guy who encouraged me to become an auto mechanic instead?  Well his business website (started in 1997, btw, same year I posted on usenet about my interest in wildlife photography) hasn't been updated since 2000.  So maybe he was experiencing difficulty in pursuing his dream, and that motivated the comment he made to me.  I also note from his website that he seems to have rejected digital photography.  Interesting.

This dumpster showed up at work a couple days ago because part of the building is being refurbished and the company doing the work is called "Dynamic".  I thought it was funny because what's less dynamic than a big dumpster?

Then I hatched an idea that it might be cool if I could photograph someone doing something dynamic in front of the dumpster.

The problem was I didn't have anyone who was interested in helping.  This meant it was going to be me who was doing something dynamic.

I also didn't have my tripod (arrgh!) so I lugged a chair and some plastic crates out to the parking lot to set my camera on.  Then I set the timer for 10 seconds and kept clicking the button, running to get into position, running and leaping and whatever in front of the dumpster, and then running back to the camera to check out each shot.

I couldn't decide which looked better, highspeed shots where there was no motion blur, or slower shots where the motion was implied by the blur.  Eventually I settled on the latter.  I think the above was the best of the series.

Did I mention it was like 80 degrees and I'm woefully out of shape?  I took about 25 shots, which is essentially 25 10-second laps back and forth in front of the camera which was about 50 feet from the dumpster interspersed with lots of jumping and leaping and generally looking like a fool.  It took me forever to get my timing right.  In most shots, the dumpster ended up winning the "who is the more dynamic" contest!  In the end I only kept 5 shots.

I was completely beat.  So I took one last picture of me exhausted in front of the dumpster to get that idea across.  It was only as I was dragging my sweaty tired ass in, lugging my camera bag, a chair and four plastic crates, that I spotted four people in one of the other offices in my building looking out at me with big grins on.

Given the choice of being humiliated and mortified, or just going with it, I decided to go with it.  I set the chair down and gave a theatrical bow.  Then one of the guys watching me laughed, waved, and held up a large hand-drawn sign.  Here is what it said:

9.7

I've seen a few photos like this on flickr, and I have been wanting to try one.

This was a lot of fun to do, especially listening to my daughter giggling as I struck each pose.  Patty was nice enough to take all the pictures.  Although you only see 10 of me, there were 13 shots taken, its just that the me at the front of the car and the me at the back of the car are blocking the view of three other me's in the background.  But ten Chucks isn't bad for a first effort.  And I learned a couple things along the way (beyond the obvious: plan out the shot!)

One is, even with the camera on the tripod, it still moves a teensy bit with each shot.  I really should have set up the cable release for Pat.  Next time we try this, I will.  The other thing is whenever I've seen this shot done, the photographer tries hard not to have anything in the picture that moves... like say a car.  When I sit in the front seat, she leans a little forward, when I sit in the backseat, she leans a little back, and so on, each tiny movement creating seams and edges that don't line up as I try to stitch things together.  So either I should leave the car out of the shot, or put sandbags in the front and back as I move about to even out the weight.

But still it was a lot of fun and I liked the end result.  Y'know when I look at Vanessa, many thoughts cross my mind.  "Clown Car" isn't one of them.

So on Sunday I spent a few hours at Fitchburg Municipal Airport to see if there were any photos to shoot.  When I showed up I found a group of people waiting for rides on three small planes one of which is depicted above.  For a nominal fee (I think $300?) one could get a half hour in the air in one of these beautiful machines.  I had the kit lens on and got some nice wide angle shots of the planes, and the airfield.

I tried to summon up the courage to ask people if I could photograph them, but it was very hard to do... I asked one elderly gentleman and he immediately refused and I felt bad for having asked.  Fortunately there was one couple there who wanted their picture taken by one of the planes and the airport staff were nice enough to let me do so.  The portraits came out GREAT and I was really stoked about that.

After about 40 minutes a thunderstorm rolled in and I tried to get lightning shots but it didn't work out.  The staff put the planes in the hangars and everyone waited for it to pass.  Afterward the planes came back out and the rides resumed.  After the rain I found a gorgeous Black Jaguar XK120 parked outside the main building in a big puddle and got some nice shots of it and its reflection.  Before leaving I loaned my memory card to one of the staff members so that he could have copies of the photos I took.  He was quite pleased.

All in all, it was a nice afternoon, and at least two people asked me to email pictures to them.  While doing the post processing at home I thought idly about doing this for a living.  I think I would like that, but before that can happen I have to know what the heck I'm doing, and eventually graduate back to film.  I had been idly considering this for quite some time actually.  Yesterday I tried to think of a name that I could use for such a business while sitting in my driveway staring at my ugly old barn.  Eventually "Old Barn Photography" came to mind, and I thought that would be great.

Last night I decided to order a small batch of "Moo" minicards with some of my photos on them, and my name and phone number on the back, just to hand out to people when I am out shooting, either as a means of encouraging them to let me take their picture, or to just "get my name out there".  I had the batch all set up to say "Old Barn Photography" on the back when it suddenly occurred to me that this name might already be in use.  And wouldn't you know it?  It is.  Jesus.

So I started wracking my brain to come up with another name on the spot, but most of the things I thought of either struck me as pretentious or were already in use, or both!  I liked the name "Abacquer's Aerie" but nobody would be able to pronounce it.  It was getting late and I was tired, so finally I just put "Chuck Seggelin, Photographer" on the back.  And this struck me as the most pretentious of all.  Photographer.  Yeah right.  I'm just some jamoke with a camera.  But I decided to go ahead and print the cards anyway.  It's only a small batch and I can always print a new set later if and when I get better and decide to seriously try and make a living doing this.  In the meantime they are probably going to go mostly to friends and family.

Kind of silly I suppose.

It's not the first time I've dreamed about becoming a photographer... the last time was around 1992 or thereabouts, and I couldn't afford the film investment to learn.  But I'm trying very hard this time around, and if a day goes by where I don't at least take a few pictures, I get agitated.  It's a strong desire, and this has been a year for change.  No doubt about that.

Anyway, if I give you one of my silly cards, try to mentally edit out the "Photographer" and replace it with "Schmuck With a Camera".

One of the things I always loved about my Dad was that he saw possibilities everywhere, and he never gave up on a possibility.  Any scrap of anything that he could fathom a use for, and he would save it... for years.  Like these Altoids tins.  If you've never heard of Altoids they are the "Curiously Strong Peppermints" and they come in small metal tins like these that snap closed and are the perfect size for change or other small objects.

My Dad, having been an electrical engineer, had literally thousands of small circuits, gizmos, parts and gadgets stored around the house, and he began saving these tins many years ago, planning to use them to sort and organize his various circuits and diodes one day.  Eventually my mother got tired of them piling up and threw a big stack of them away.  And we thought, that was that.

Dad recently passed away and the task of cleaning out his study is something we've been working on a little bit at a time each weekend.  A couple weekends ago I pulled a box out from under his desk and found it packed to the brim with these Altoid tins... then another, then another, then another.

All in all about 200 tins plus another 50 or so I had found in the garage.  Dad didn't like to give up on possibilities... even if he had to hide them in boxes under his desk. :-)

You know... there's a group for everything on flickr...