Unbecoming Levity :: Eyeball Glaze, Love

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Eyeball Glaze, Love

by Abacquer on Thu 04 Jan 2007 08:35 AM EST | Permanent Link | Cosmos

So I have conjunctivitis, which means 4 times a day I get to experience the joy of Erythromycin Ophthalmic Ointment (or EOO -- pronounced eyewwwwww!) And in trying to follow these instructions I've discovered I need a hand mirror to look in or I will, ahem, end up with ointment where it doesn't belong. So, one hand on the mirror, one hand on the ointment, another hand pulling down the eyelid and... umm. As you can imagine this requires some contortions. Fortunately Wang Chung was on hand (that's FOUR hands now) to explain it:

Take your mirror in your hand
And lean back further than you planned
Take your eyeball by the lid
Reveal the red part often hid

Chorus:
With our hands in face
For our eyeball glaze
We were locked in place
When I, you, and everyone we knew,
Had to squeeze, spew, a bunch of eyeball goo...
Oh I said
Eyeball glaze, love.
Eyeball glaze.

Take your ointment by the tube
And carefully, the cap, remove
Now you've got everything in place
So squirt that crap right in your face

repeat chorus

So grab those tissues while you're blind
Or use the first thing that you find
'Cause on your face there's sticky glue
And you need far more hands than two
And you need far more hands than two

Posted to:

Comments

Re: Eyeball Glaze, Love

by JPB on Thu 04 Jan 2007 09:22 AM EST | Profile | Permanent Link

Welcome to almost my entire childhood.

I don't know if you remember, but I used to get conjunctivitis almost every year in college. I got it twice a year growing up. Not a mild case, either, really REALLY bad. Bad enough that my eye swelled completely shut, would ooze horribly and hurt like a mothertrucker.

Now I hardly ever get it -- I grew out of whatever my recurring infection was. I was prescribed ointment and antibiotics orally, but they never really helped. It always had to run its course. That's because it was most likely viral, what I had. (Smallpox is what I now believe it was, an infection related to a problem during my inoculation)

But I spent a good part of my childhood looking through ointment.

I sympathize. Your infection, unlike mine, is probably bacterial. So that ointment ought to do the trick straight away.

Get well soon!

Re: Eyeball Glaze, Love

by JPB on Thu 04 Jan 2007 09:24 AM EST | Profile | Permanent Link

I should say, I have no idea if your infection is bacterial or viral, but I know that a viral cold can often make you susceptible to a bacterial infection in your conjunctiva.

In any case, again, get well soon!

Re: Eyeball Glaze, Love

by Abacquer on Thu 04 Jan 2007 09:48 AM EST | Profile | Permanent Link

My doctor says I have a sinus infection, the eye infection, an abrasion on my foot is infected, and I have a bad viral chest/head cold. And she sent me to the hospital for chest x-rays because my right lungh doesn't sound good. So they're going to check that for pneumonia. Yayyyy. :-/

Re: Eyeball Glaze, Love

by Maggie on Thu 04 Jan 2007 11:07 AM EST | Profile | Permanent Link

Oh, yuck! Antibiotics should take care of most of that. I hope you feel better soon. That always happens to me, too, though -- when I get a sinus infection, I get conjunctivitis along with it.

What has prevented that from happening for me is a steroid nasal spray that I use everyday. As long as I'm using that *before* I get the cold, it doesn't become a sinus infection. If I start to use it during the cold, it doesn't help. If you have allergies, maybe you should see an allergist about what medicines you can use on a regular basis so you don't get so sick when you get sick.

M was on Singulair for quite a long time, and it's supposed to prevent colds from "settling" in your chest and becoming chest infections. (And it appeared to work quite well for her.) Maybe that would be an option for you as well.

If you find the right way (for your body) to manage your allergies, it might help you get less sick when you get a cold.

I hope you feel better soon.

Re: Eyeball Glaze, Love

by JPB on Fri 05 Jan 2007 04:00 PM EST | Profile | Permanent Link

Hope things are looking up.

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