You know, sooner or later it had to happen.  You know I've reviewed a number of bad movies--Dark Harvest, House of the Dead, Habit, and Incredible Hulk to name a few.  When it comes to bad movie standards and measures, Savage Instinct (a.k.a. They Call Me Macho Woman) by Troma Pictures is usually the yardstick I use for judging a bad film... because in my opinion it is the worst movie of all time.  Or rather, it was...

Yes Savage Instinct has finally been dethroned.  If you've never seen Savage Instinct let me sum it up for you: What is she doing?  Who talks like that?  You've gotta be kidding me!  Why's she just standing there?  Wait, what the fuck just happened?  Why is there a dead guy in the backseat?  Where did all these jokers come from?  Wait, they're attacking her and then they all just leave? Is it the next day?  What the christ is going on?

But I have a soft spot for Savage Instinct... yes it was the baddest of the bad, but its badness is so hilarious it is probably worth watching.  Certainly any joker who thinks he knows how to put together a movie should watch this film and learn what not to do. Hey Uwe Bolle, are you listening?  Check out Savage Instinct before you ruin Bloodrayne, hmm?  Because if anybody could ruin a movie starring such talents as Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, and Billy Zane, it would be you, you wanker.

But I digress.

Savage Instinct's crown is hereby officially awarded to Alien Seed. This was not an easy decision for me. Alien Seed was not drastically worse than Savage Instinct, and in some ways Savage Instinct is still worse in the editing department.  But the acting in Alien Seed is insanely bad, the dialog is as dry as dehydrated water, the plot is holier than fishnet stockings, and the movie largely makes no sense.  And it has Erik Estrada in it, once again demonstrating that he should have retired after CHiPs.

One thing that the makers of Savage Instinct understood was the limitations of their budget.  If you're going to make a film on a budget suitable for coffee and doughnuts, you make a film about thugs chasing a woman around the countryside and use a couple cars that are right out of the nearest junkyard.  What you don't do is make a film about aliens abducting and impregnating women.  Because generally in today's day and age, if a movie features aliens zipping around in a flying saucer, us movie viewers would usually like to see the flying saucer.  You know.  Like once maybe.  And the picture on the movie sleeve doesn't count.

Unfortunately Alien Seed is not as enjoyable to watch as Savage Instinct, and so it is a little sad that it has edged Savage Instinct out of the bottom spot.  But hope springs eternal.  I'm sure someone will produce a new bad movie someday which will be worse than Alien Seed, but be fun to watch.  And to be truthful, I'm sure if I had my friends watch it with me, we'd probably have a blast.

Congratulations Alien Seed, and props to Savage Instinct for holding the title for this long.  Surely Ed Wood would think these films terrible... and that is saying something!