Here are some news items I noticed today that kind of stuck with me...

Ashley Olsen Cancels Trip to Be With Twin

..."Ashley Olsen has decided to be with her family at this time," Robert Thorne, chief executive of the Olsen twins' Dualstar Entertainment Group, said Thursday.

Us Weekly and People magazines reported this week that Mary-Kate has an eating disorder and had entered an unidentified treatment center...

Someone had recently commented to me that it looked like Mary-Kate Olsen was anorexic.  I saw a picture of her recently at some premier or something where she resembled a bag of bones.  How horrific.  Poor thing.

AOL worker arrested in spam scheme

...Jason Smathers of Harpers Ferry, W. Va., used his inside knowledge of AOL's computer system to steal a list of 92 million AOL customer account "screen names," and then sold them to Sean Dunaway, who is not an AOL employee.

Dunaway, of Las Vegas, NV., was accused of using the list to promote his own Internet gambling business and also sold the list to other spammers for $52,000...

Smooth move asswipe.  Like nobody on AOL is going to notice.  What a cockbite.

Rooney in Running for Sexiest Newscaster

...The 85-year-old "60 Minutes" commentator is among the candidates on Playgirl magazine's online ballot for sexiest TV newscaster.

Among the 18 men on the list: CNN's Bill Hemmer, MSNBC's Lester Holt and Fox News Channel's Shepard Smith. The "big three" network anchors — Peter Jennings from ABC, Dan Rather from CBS and Tom Brokaw from NBC — also are on the ballot...

 Didja ever notice how the weirdest looking people become sex symbols?

You know, I'm not into guys... but if I were I'd still rather bang a bedpost than Andy Rooney.  I mean he seems like a swell guy and all, but sexy?  Now my wife, who *is* into guys, can't seem to pry her eyeballs off Russell Crowe long enough to take a serious look at Andy Rooney, but knowing what I do of her tastes, I feel pretty confident in saying there are people with fewer limbs who are sexier than Andy Rooney.

While we're on the subject I can't imagine anyone picking funky-eyed Peter Jennings, or egomaniacal Dan Rather, or Tom Brokaw who is about as sexy as a tax form.  If these guys are sexy, I'm a goddamned Adonis.  Where's my flock of admiring femmes?

Anyway, if you are just dying to see Sean Hannity in Playgirl,  cast your vote here.

Court Won't Order Cheney Papers Released

...The Supreme Court protected the Bush administration Thursday from having to reveal potentially embarrassing details about Vice President Dick Cheney's energy task force until after the election, sending the case back to a lower court and noting a "paramount necessity of protecting the executive branch from vexatious litigation."

...It was the second significant case in two weeks resolved without a ruling on the main issues. Last week, justices said a California atheist did not have standing to challenge on behalf of his daughter the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, sidestepping the broader church-state question...

Woo-ha... another landmark cop-out by the Supreme Candycourt.  Yes once again Scalia gets to pretend that he is above conflict-of-interest considerations. 

...In the Cheney case, two groups that sued to get access to the task force documents argued the public had a right to know whether energy company executives played a key role in crafting the industry-friendly recommendations...

...Cheney, a former energy industry executive, was put in charge of the task force by President Bush in 2001. Most of its major recommendations, such as opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, have been stalled in Congress.

The Sierra Club, a liberal environmental group, and Judicial Watch, a conservative legal group, sued to get the records. The organizations contended that environmentalists were shut out of the meetings while executives such as former Enron Corp. Chairman Kenneth Lay were key players...

...Phil Singer, spokesman for Sen. John Kerry, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, said, "Americans shouldn't have to rely on court orders to learn what special interest lobbyists are writing White House policies."...

Don't worry Phil, the lowest court in the land has made it's decree clear--we can't.