Folks, election day is here, and uncle Chuck would like to offer some helpful advice to take with you to the polls...

First of all, northerners at least should wear something cozy and warm.  There might be long lines and you might have to wait outside.  For democrats I recommend comfortable shoes, socks, jogging suits / sweat suits or anything warm and comfy.  For republicans I recommend string bikinis packed with ice cubes and bare feet.  Ok, ok, just kidding. 

Secondly, bring a snack and something to sip (water is best), and perhaps a good book such as Bush's Brain, Lies and the Lying Liars that Tell Them, Blinded by the Right, Bushwhacked, Shrub, and so forth.  Again you may be waiting and so you'll want a way to pass the time.

Thirdly, bring some ID.  There may be voter challenges, for Democrats I recommend a drivers license, passport, birth certificate, marriage certificate, military records, school records, property records, a notary public, and a DNA sample.  For Republicans I recommend your golf club membership card.

Here's a few things you shouldn't do... especially if you are planning on voting Kerry:

Don't sing show tunes or any tunes while waiting.  You'll get thrown out.  Notable exception, Republicans are fully encouraged to belt out "Let the Eagle Soar".

Please don't vote for more than one President, or your ballot will be an overvote and will be counted for Bush discarded.

Don't be black, if you can avoid it, especially if you are voting in Florida.

Don't wear a t-shirt that says "I Voted" or "Vote Early, Vote Often", or anything like that.  (Unless it says "I Voted for Bush" or "Vote for Bush Early, Vote for Bush Often"... that will probably be acceptable.)