Unbecoming Levity

Distributed Computing = Distributed Responsibility = Fingerpointing

Abacquer — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:27:16 -0400

So this morning I tried to process an order a customer had sent me last night. I went to log into my photolab service provider, exposuremanager.com, just like I always do. Bzzzt. Can't get in. "This link appears to be broken."

Huh, maybe it's my machine. So I try my daughter's machine, nope she can't see it either. Internet down? Nope I can get my email and see all the other sites I use regularly.

So I (reasonably) assume exposuremanager is down. That's not too cool--because while it is down my customers can't place orders. So I call customer support and leave them a message that their site is down.

A little while later I get an e-mail from them stating their site is up and running fine (and by the way, nice pictures on your site!) Thanks, but I still can't get in.

So I try the DOS utility "ping" to ping their server. Sometimes it can't resolve exposuremanager to an IP address (implying a problem with a domain name server at Comcast) and other times it can resolve the IP address but gets no response. I check with WHOIS on Tucows (their registrar) to see if their domain has expired, but it hasn't. WTF?

So then I run a traceroute in an attempt to see where the communication fails between me and exposuremanager:

Tracing route to exposuremanager.com [66.254.91.235]

over a maximum of 30 hops:

1 <1 ms <1 ms <1 ms www.routerlogin.com [192.168.1.1]

2 7 ms 10 ms 7 ms [ my IP omitted ]

3 8 ms 8 ms 6 ms ge-1-2-ur01.gardner.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.187.109]

4 11 ms 10 ms 9 ms te-0-8-0-2-ar01.woburn.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.162.93]

5 14 ms 9 ms 9 ms pos-0-15-0-0-ar01.needham.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.162.145]

6 15 ms 14 ms 22 ms pos-0-0-0-0-ar01.chartford.ct.hartford.comcast.net [68.85.162.70]

7 16 ms 18 ms 17 ms pos-2-4-0-0-cr01.newyork.ny.ibone.comcast.net [68.86.90.61]

8 22 ms 18 ms 17 ms Vlan546.icore1.NJY-Newark.as6453.net [206.82.132.41]

9 17 ms 45 ms 18 ms if-6-0-0-25.mcore3.NJY-Newark.as6453.net [216.6.57.41]

10 19 ms 17 ms 18 ms if-2-0.core1.NTO-NewYork.as6453.net [216.6.57.66]

11 17 ms 18 ms 19 ms sl-gw31-nyc-14-0-0.sprintlink.net [160.81.249.29]

12 18 ms 19 ms 17 ms sl-crs2-nyc-0-2-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.13.35]

13 23 ms 27 ms 19 ms sl-bb20-msq-2-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.20.74]

14 22 ms 22 ms 24 ms sl-bb21-msq-15-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.9.110]

15 26 ms 26 ms 27 ms sl-crs1-rly-0-8-5-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.20.73]

16 25 ms 25 ms 26 ms sl-bb20-dc-5-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.8.162]

17 24 ms 28 ms 25 ms sl-crs1-dc-0-0-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.15.11]

18 74 ms 73 ms 74 ms sl-crs2-fw-0-11-3-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.19.200]

19 * * * Request timed out.

20 * * * Request timed out.

21 * * * Request timed out.

22 * * * Request timed out.

23 * * * Request timed out.

24 * * * Request timed out.

25 * * * Request timed out.

26 * * * Request timed out.

27 * * * Request timed out.

28 * * * Request timed out.

29 * * * Request timed out.

30 * * * Request timed out.

Trace complete.

As you can see, the communication makes it to "sl-crs2-fw-0-11-3-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.19.200]" and then fails. Sprintlink.net is inside of the Sprint network. To get as far as I did required the services of three companies, Comcast (comcast.net), Tata Communications (as6453.net), and Sprint (sprintlink.net). None of these companies is my company (sagewoodstudios.com) or my photolab service provider (exposuremanager.com). In fact after the last hop, I don't know what the next address would be--it might be a fourth company, or another server in the Sprint network. Exposure Manager can't help me--it's not their computer. Comcast can't help me--it's not their computer either. Sprint *might* be able to help me, but I'm not their customer.

What I do know is, if I didn't have to use this route, I would indeed be able to get there. I found an online provider of the standard 'net tools (ping, traceroute, etc.) called Network-Tools.com (that's a handy link btw, you might want to bookmark it). I can get to their server to see their website, and when I ask THEM to do a traceroute to exposuremanager, they can get there just fine:

TraceRoute to 66.254.91.235 [exposuremanager.com]

Hop

(ms)

(ms)

(ms)

IP Address

Host name

1

8

6

6

206.123.69.137

-

2

9

6

6

8.9.232.73

xe-5-3-0.edge3.dallas1.level3.net

3

12

7

7

4.69.145.140

ae-3-80.edge2.dallas3.level3.net

4

8

15

6

4.71.220.14

xo-communic.edge2.dallas3.level3.net

5

10

12

9

207.88.13.122

207.88.13.122.ptr.us.xo.net

6

41

40

40

207.88.12.46

207.88.12.46.ptr.us.xo.net

7

41

40

40

65.106.1.69

65.106.1.69.ptr.us.xo.net

8

41

49

52

65.106.5.10

p0-0-0.mar2.la-ca.us.xo.net

9

46

40

40

207.88.81.170

p15-0.chr1.la-ca.us.xo.net

10

50

44

45

66.238.50.106

66.238.50.106.ptr.us.xo.net

11

53

45

47

66.254.64.1

gw1.pixelgate.net

12

53

50

47

66.254.91.235

host235.exposuremanager.com

Trace complete

As you can see, because they are starting from a different provider (level3.net) their communication path takes a different route that never involves any of the companies I'm forced to use. If Network-Tools.com provided a "browser in a browser" basically an embedded frame that I could point anywhere I want to, I'd be able to get to my photolab and process my customer's orders.

In the meantime I'm pretty stuck. I can't help my customers, and my service provider can't help me. Welcome to the Internet... where you really "can't get thar from hyar".

A Message Sent to a Creationist

Abacquer — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:05:33 -0400

If I get an answer, I'll post it here.

You said "I believe in Creation. I have a few questions for those of you who don't. If we came from monkeys, where did the monkey come from? If we originated from one-cell creatures that evolved over time, where did they come from? No matter how far back you go and say we evolved over time, there is always that question. Where did that organism come from that started everything?"

This is basically all one question, and it's what we call a question of infinite regression. One can always ask "well where did THAT come from?" One can even ask that question about God. Fortunately that question falls outside the bailiwick of the Theory of Evolution. The theory of evolution does not speculate on where the first life form came from. The abundant evidence for evolution makes clear that evolution happened and is still happening. But none of that precludes a deity. If you choose to believe that the first life form was the product of the divine, that's fine, evolution makes no assertions either way to challenge or support such a belief.

Which is why it's a little misguided to argue that one must choose between creation or evolution. There are literally billions of religious people the world over who accept the evidence for evolution and continue to believe in their deity of choice. There's no necessary conflict between those two beliefs.

Regarding the rest of your post "I have even heard some one say that we evolved from non-living rocks. Unbelievable."

Now you are getting into a different subject, and it's not part of evolution, you are speculating on what in science is referred to as abiogenesis (life from nonliving matter). The reason why it has that name is that there is no argument (among those familiar with the evidence) that the planet existed before life did. At one point there was only nonliving matter here, and then there was living matter. How?

It's an interesting question... how do you get from nonliving matter to living matter? Abiogenesis isn't a theory, there isn't enough evidence for us to know for sure how the first life forms came into being (and honestly there probably never will be)--there are a number of competing hypotheses, and many of them have points both for and against. But the belief in divine creation is also an example of abiogenesis... if it was a god, he must have created life out of something. Surely it is within the power of a supreme being to take some raw chemicals and assemble a living thing. I doubt you would claim "God couldn't do that".

The most likely conclusion is that the first life form was molecular, a simple chemical compound that could make imperfect copies of itself. At the lowest levels it becomes impossible to distinguish between biology and chemistry--and it's quite likely the first "life" would be something we would barely recognize as alive. You may find it unbelievable that we evolved from "rocks", and that is a mind boggling proposition. However that a simple duplicating chemical compound might have formed in a sea of chemicals bathed in solar radiation and sitrred by tides isn't all that mind boggling at all. Once you have anything that copies itself with errors, then natural selection kicks in and begins to result in changes to that "organism" over time.

All very interesting, but when it comes to the genesis event, whatever it was, we'll never have an eyewitness or a fossil that will allow us to know the nature of that event. Fossil molecules, I suspect, would be rather hard to find. :-)

Therefore I don't concern myself with it, and I concern myself with what we DO have evidence for. The notion of a supernatural being that actively affects the universe and created anything is an interesting notion... a pretty spectacular claim. But for a person with an evidentiary worldview I can't possibly just accept such a claim without evidence. Since the evidence is lacking, I'm not going to adopt such a belief (pending further evidence of course)--that's the reasonable assumption to make. So there we are.

What I do note of the "God Hypothesis" is that historically it has been supplied as an explanation for the unknown for any number of questions and phenomena. As science has advanced the answer to each of those previously divine phenomena (planetary motion, earthquakes, thunder, lightning, volcanoes, rainbows, etc, etc, etc) the divine has been found to be unnecessary, and the God Hypothesis simply moves to a new unknown, filling the gaps on the shelves of knowledge, to be perennially relocated when the books that explain those gaps are written and shelved.

The unknown is mundane. There will always be unknowns. And since the supernatural has been invoked to explain every single unknown in the history of humanity, the fact that it is invoked to explain the origin of life isn't very compelling to me. The hypothesis doesn't have a very good track record, and the mere fact that something is unknown is not evidence for a supernatural agent.

So while I do not know what the original life form was, or how it got here, I'm inclined to think it was some sort of entirely natural event. That's the more reasonable assumption based on what we know about the world. I'm not going to make assumptions based on what we DON'T know... that would be imprudent in my opinion.

That said, I bear no ill will to those who do. There are many great things religion has brought humanity (including, ironically, science itself). So if you want to believe in a divine being, an afterlife, redemption--more power to you I say. Especially if it brings you happiness or comfort in difficult times. I don't share that belief, but I see no reason either of us should condemn the other.

Obviously I tend to get quite angry with people who ignore evidence and spread disinformation. That's to be expected from someone who holds an evidentiary worldview. (And of course, I am as human as the next guy.) Which is why you could sum up my opinion on the subject at hand like so:

"To believe in the divine is a personal choice, and there is nothing wrong with it. To ignore the evidence for evolution is to be willfully ignorant."

And that's all I have to say about that. I hope you found this message to be a useful answer to your questions. I'm actually not interested in debating theology (I think debating things for which there isn't any evidence is fairly pointless), but if you have any questions about evolution, I'd be happy to try and answer them if I know the answers.

SQL Server 2000 - Detailed Structure Query

Abacquer — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:33:52 -0400

I spent several hours mining Google and tweaking to get this query right. This has never been a technical blog, but considering what a pain this was to chase down, I figured I should post it here for others.

This query will list all the tables and columns in a SQL Server 2000 database, including column data type, length, precision, scale, nullable flag, if the column is part of a unique constraint, if the column is part of the primary key, the foreign table referenced by the column if it is a foreign key, and the default value of the column if it has one.

The output is suitable for pasting into Excel or Word to create database reports. (Yes I'm sure there are 3rd party tools, and stored procedures to get all this info, but what I needed was ONE query which did it all and returned it as this query does.)

select T.name as TableName, C.colorder, C.name as ColumnName, TY.name as datatype,
       c.length, c.prec, c.scale, c.isnullable, UO.name as UniqueConstraint,
       IX.name as PKConstraint, SR.name as ReferencesTable, SM.Text as DefaultValue

  from sysobjects as T
 inner join syscolumns as C on (C.id = T.id)
 inner join systypes as TY on (TY.xtype = C.xtype)
  left join sysindexkeys as K on C.colid = K.colid and K.id=T.id
  left join sysindexes as I on I.id=T.id and I.indid=K.indid
  left join sysobjects as IX on IX.parent_obj=T.id and IX.name = I.name and IX.xtype='PK'
  left join sysconstraints as CO on (C.colid=CO.colid and CO.id=T.id)
  left join sysforeignkeys as FK on (T.id = FK.fkeyid and FK.constid=CO.constid)
  left join sysobjects as SR on (SR.id = FK.rkeyid)
  left join syscomments SM on C.cdefault = SM.id 
  left join sysindexkeys as UK on C.colid = UK.colid and UK.id=T.id
  left join sysindexes as UI on UI.id=T.id and UI.indid=K.indid
  left join sysobjects as UO on (UO.parent_obj=T.id and UO.name=UI.name and UO.xtype='UQ')

where T.xtype = 'U'
order by T.name, C.colorder;

You can see a screenshot of the output here.

Pies Pies Pies Yeah

Abacquer — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:30:51 -0400

So I celebrated Pi Day with some friends yesterday and had a nice time. The pies and treats were delicious. Sadly I didn't bring a cherry pie for Julie, I will have to remember to do that next year. The blueberry pie was great, the chicken pot pie was delicious, and though the glutin-free lemon meringue was very runny, it still tasted fine.

We played games (I had a nice long game of Carcassonne, and other people played Bohnanza), made up silly jokes and songs, and just had a very nice afternoon. I got to meet some new friends, and spend a little time with some old ones. And I ate WAY too much pie.

This morning my idle mind wrote a little song parody based on the day which I decided to share here:

You made me blueberry,
Apple and pecan;
Wet meringue with lemon goo
And pot pie tastes so grand.

(The bigger, the better)
Our tummies fully crammed...
Collected from around the world
we'll eat them if we can!

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

The pound cake was delicious,
And whoopie pies were fine.
But poor Julie got no cherry,
What a waste of time.

Big ones and small ones,
Look lovely to our eyes,
Tantalizing on the plate,
Not so much on our thighs...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Go back to your larder,
Fetch me another plate,
My pancreas is still alive,
And I'm not the sort to wait.

The bigger, the better,
And some are glutin free,
So what if you don't eat your share,
More for me and me and me and me and me and

Pies pies pies yeah! (We're gonna eat you.)
Pies pies pies yeah! (Not too discreet to.)
Pies pies pies yeah! (Fat like a B-2.)
Pies pies pies yeah!

Oh you know I know...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Oh you know I know...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Attention Executive and Legislative Branches -- I WANT SINGLE PAYER HEALTH CARE

Abacquer — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 09:08:30 -0400

In a single payer system, the cost of healthcare drops dramatically. Yes it's true taxes go up, but at this point? They're going up anyway. The economic stimulus our country needs is going to have to be paid for, and we are all going to pay for it. Combine this with the 30 years this country has frittered away when it should have been building a new energy grid, green technologies, maintaining infrastructure, and so on, and it's clear, the party is over.

And by "the party is over" I'm referring to those artificially low taxes that our conservative friends still think are too high.

I am sick and tired of listening to gloom-and-doom naysayers fiddling about long lines, delays, and taxes while Rome burns. I have friends who are suffering right now simply because they cannot get the help they need due to lack of coverage.

Single-payer health care works in many countries around the world, some better than others. I have enough faith in American ingenuity that we can make it work here. But it does mean (AFAIC) the end (or serious curtailing) of health insurance companies that have risen to wealth on their two core tenets--1. collect premiums, and 2. don't pay benefits.

For those who quake in fear at the notion? We tried it your way for decades and it sucks. I'm ready for something new.

Chapter Three: A Dying Breed

Abacquer — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:44:54 -0500

NOTE: This story is chapter 3, the sequel to the previous chapter. If you have not already read the first chapter or second chapter, you may wish to check them out first.

The visit with Ellan and Tyr had been long and leisurely, thirteen wonderful years exploring the seas of Regulus-4, a world Ellan had named Ouan. Mara and Kennis had swum as merfolk, scaled the few rocky crags of Ouan with the Hooth, slothlike ursines, and had even spent a few solitary weeks relaxing on beaches of lavender sand, their lungs altered to process the chemical soup that constituted Ouan's atmosphere.

Mara wrote many books, including a meditative collection of poems about her former lover Tyr. She had been nervous that Kennis would feel slighted, but her devotion to Mara was total. "I cannot possess you my love," Kennis had said, gazing at her in the amber moonlight of a warm night on Ouan, "and I will accept whatever part of your life you choose to share with me. It would unreasonable to assume that I should own your history. Besides, Tyr is remarkable, why not write songs for her? I thought your book was lovely."

"Oh Kennis," Mara had began, but she could not finish the sentence. Kennis truly was the love of her life, and she was ever reminded of it.

"I love you too, Mara. Who knows, perhaps you shall write a book for me some day."

"There aren't words to describe this love."

As the months passed into years, eventually Mara's thoughts returned to the notion of recreating humans on another planet--with the necessary biological alterations to survive there. She began scanning the catalogues of known worlds to find a suitable candidate. Though millions of worlds had been visited by Homo imortalis, few matched the criteria she was seeking. There were some good candidates, but they were precariously close to other worlds which had thriving ecosystems and nonsentient inhabitants, and given the human penchant for warfare and conquest, Mara had no desire to create a species that would become a scourge.

There was, she realized, a fairly awesome responsibility in creating a species. She had been contacted by a number of people who had expressed a number of opinions on her books on the subject, some positive and some negative. But she was not daunted, even when she reached the end of the catalogue with no acceptable candidates. She instructed Hab to inform her of new entries in the catalog as they arose, but so far there had been no match.

As the visit with Ellan and Tyr drew to a close she mentioned to Tyr the difficulty she was having in finding a suitable world one day when they were exploring warm coastal waters in a calm cove of one of Ouan's largest islands. "You've been through the entire catalog?" Tyr asked, her fins arranged in a peculiar manner that Mara had learned conveyed surprise.

"Yes, " Mara responded, "three million, one hundred seventy six thousand, eight hundred thirteen worlds. And counting..."

"My love, you are obsessed."

"Well you know me when I get an idea."

"Indeed I do. Well what now then?"

"I suppose I shall simply have to begin exploring worlds myself. All it will take is time."

Tyr was quiet for awhile. "There may be another option, Mara."

"What?"

"Long before I met you I briefly met an immortal named Bruk, a staggeringly old being who had taken up the task of cataloging every world in the Milky Way--with the intent of eventually leaving this galaxy to begin cataloging the worlds of other galaxies."

"Well if Bruk's work is already in the catalog--"

"It is not."

"What? Why?"

"Bruk is... eccentric and something of a hermit. In my entire life I have only known two Alphans, and Bruk is one. Suffice it to say these catalogs are kept in Bruk's private library. But I suppose you could ask..."

"An Alphan!" Mara had never met one. When nanotechnology changed a subset of Homo sapiens into Homo lentus, those modified humans had much longer lifespans. But the span of Homo lentus as a species was only five hundred years, as by that time technology had advanced to the point where Homo lentus became Homo immortalis--humans with an infinite lifespan. Those humans who were born as Homo lentus and changed to Homo immortalis were called Betans, and those rare few who were born Homo sapiens and transitioned first to Homo lentus and then to Homo immortalis were Alphans, and they were very rare indeed. The typical lentus lifespan had been 350 years, an Alphan would have been extremely old when the transition to immortality became available--at that point of course the aging could largely be reversed. But the Alphan viewpoint was often very unique as it was that of a single being that had actually been three different species--to say nothing of the extreme age of such beings. Mara had been born Homo immortalis, as had her mothers Chen and Cyrce. That put her in the majority of the species, a subset known as Gammans.

As an Alphan, Bruk would be nearly two and a half million years old, and if she had indeed been cataloging worlds for much of that time, she might indeed know of a planet upon which Mara could recreate Homo sapiens.

"How do you know this being?" Mara asked.

"Bruk is one of my ancestors, by twelve generations, we met at a family reunion. It was a bizarre experience. If you decide to make contact, I'd suggest you mention me--Bruk's got a soft spot for progeny."

That evening, back in Kennis' arms, Mara had composed a brief message to Bruk.

Greetings Bruk: I am the former partner of your granddaughter Tyr, my name is Mara. She encouraged me to speak with you. I am seeking a particular world--one with an environment very similar to that of Earth when it was inhabited by Homo sapiens, but fairly remote with respect to other worlds which are inhabited. Tyr mentioned your extensive catalog and I was hoping you might know of such a world. Please contact me if you are able to help. I've attached specific criteria ranges to this message. Thank you.

After running it past Kennis, she transmitted the message through her network receiver and was surprised to receive a response almost immediately. But it was not from the Alphan, but instead was being sent by a hab.

[You (and no guests) will be received at Bruk's hab in one week's time. Come to moon three of planet five of the red dwarf star at galactic coordinates (-28599.99876, -31200.09384, 112.54015). The visit is not to exceed 90 minutes.]

"It's pretty brusque, Mara. Why does she not ask after Tyr? Why does she not contact you herself? And she permits you no guests? Why do you have to go and see her at all? Surely she could simply transmit the data if she really wanted to help."

"Well she's an Alphan... and Tyr warned that she was eccentric and reclusive. I suppose I should be grateful that she is even willing to discuss it with me. It could save me hundreds of thousands of years of exploration."

In the end, Kennis couldn't deny that point, and so over the next week they had made their goodbyes to Ellan and Tyr, and after one last swim in the seas of Ouan, had reverted their biological adaptations, returned to their own hab, and set off to find Bruk on the other side of the galaxy.

The quantum transition from Regulus to the system that Bruk's message had indicated was instantaneous. The star was a massive red giant, long past its exuberant youth and into its twilight years. The fifth planet, a terrestrial sort of world, may have at one time supported life, but the vastly expanded sun had boiled away its atmosphere and left it a darkened, scorched, cinder.

Their hab arrived as Kennis and Mara shared a bath, and at their request displayed an image of the planet on the bath wall. Mara had queried the catalog before they had set off and found the world was not on file--it seemed odd to have no name to call it by. Kennis, however, quickly supplied one.

"Perdition?" Mara asked.

"Yes, from ancient mythology--a place of utter ruin and damnation. Why would anyone choose to live here?"

"Well, Bruk asked us to meet her here. I've no idea if this is where she actually lives."

Kennis' arms slithered around her waist from behind under the water, and drew her close. Mara smirked as Kennis kissed her ear and whispered "come meet me in the sunny flames of Perdition, there's nothing like a dead world as a setting to make a great first impression."

Mara looked back over her shoulder, cocked an eyebrow, and kissed Kennis on the lips. She returned the kiss enthusiastically. Is it me? Or did Perdition just get hotter? Kennis transmitted, and then yelped as Mara's hands found their mark, that ticklish spot just above her knee. Mara laughed then, full of mischief and easy familiarity.

"Mara! You wicked girl!" Kennis scolded playfully. It was at this point, typically, that the splashing began, and this time was no exception.

[Twenty minutes to dock]

"Hab! Kennis splashed me." Mara pretended to complain.

[I compute a 93% likelihood that this is because you tickled her. Again.]

"I fall for that every time," Kennis said, "you'd think I'd see it coming by now."

Mara turned to face Kennis and pressed up against her, her heady scent washing over Kennis. "Ah my love, of course you see it coming, and you let me do it anyway because you love me so." The kiss that followed was long and luxurious, and left their hearts thudding. Kennis gazed into Mara's hypnotic brown eyes.

"My love, if you do not get out of this bath right now, I fear you are going to be a few hundred years late for your meeting with Bruk."

"Well we can't have THAT. I get the sense that Bruk is a little preoccupied with time. 'Meet in one weeks time', 'The visit is not to exceed 90 minutes', la la la..."

Kennis leaned back as Mara rose from the bath, the water running in rivulets on her dark skin. "Well perhaps she chose such a cheery place precisely because she doesn't want you to stay too long."

Mara laughed as she reached for a freshly synthesized towel and began drying herself off. "You may be right Kennis. I suppose the location has an austere sort of beauty, but it is at the same time quite depressing. Can you imagine actually living in such a place?"

[Commencing landing procedures.]

Mara froze, and glanced at Kennis, who's face mirrored her thoughts. "Landing procedures?" she said, incredulous.

[Yes. Bruk's hab appears to be largely buried under the surface of Perdition's third moon. Docking will require landing, and deployment of the umbilicus.]

The umbilicus was a flexible docking tunnel sometimes used to connect habs when straightforward docking was not possible.

"Kennis... she DOES live here."

As the hab counted off the minutes to docking, Mara's cloud of nanos rapidly styled her hair and synthesized a satiny magenta sari for her with golden accents and, as always, decorative sandals. She spun once for Kennis.

"How do I look, my dear?"

"I think after you leave I shall have to switch from a warm bath to a cold shower."

After a brief goodbye kiss, Mara made her way to the man airlock. The hab touched down on the cratered surface of the barren lifeless satellite of Perdition. Bruk's hab was entirely buried under rocky hill, with only the upper airlock protruding from the soil. The upper airlock entrance was horizontally oriented, and would have to be entered from above via a ladder. With a whir the umbilicus extended, curving into place, and connected with Bruk's hab in a series of clacks and clinks.

Undaunted, Mara picked her way along the umbilicus and descended the ladder into Bruk's hab. The entrance chamber was dimly lit, and the floor resembled polished wood. Mara was not used to disarray, and was alarmed to see stacked rectangular objects in somewhat careless piles about the room, and everything covered in a fine layer of dust. Standing at the opposite end of the chamber was an odd looking woman dressed in a thick sweater, slacks, and boots, all black. Mara had never seen anyone like her--she was somewhat plump, her hair curly and gray, and fine wrinkles stretched across the skin of her face in various places. She was, Mara suddenly realized, old--which given the capabilities of the nanos meant that she had chosen to age. She smiled faintly at Mara as Mara walked over to her and held out her hand.

"You must be Bruk. I am Mara, I am delighted to meet you."

"Greetings Mara. Welcome to the habitat of Bruk. You have been granted limited guest access to basic habitat functions. You may call me Habitha."

It was a synth, Mara realized, an automaton composed entirely of nanos--a physical representation of the Hab itself. Seeing as Bruk lived alone, she perhaps found comfort in a synthetic companion of sorts.

"Thank you Habitha, will you take me to Bruk?"

"Yes, the master has been expecting you."

The master? Mara wondered. "Where is your master?"

"Most likely in the library. Shall we go? Master Bruk does not like to be kept waiting."

"Yes please. And do pass along the message that I have arrived in the meantime."

"I cannot. The master does not have a network receiver."

"What?"

"Master Bruk does not wish to be connected to the network."

Mara was stupefied. The network was essentially a compendium of human knowledge and experience, the idea that someone would not want access to it was mind-boggling to her. Habitha led her through several dark passages and cramped rooms, all piled with the same sorts of rectangular objects as she had seen in the entrance hall. "Habitha, why is everything covered in dust?"

"The master prefers it that way."

"Why are there piles of ... things in hallways and areas not meant for storage?"

"The master prefers it that way."

As Mara was becoming used to the odd musty scent in the air, the synth opened a hinged door and led her into a warmly lit and spacious chamber. There were a number of couches covered in worn brown fabric, standing lamps, standing shelves, and shelves lining the walls, filled with... "Books!" Mara said aloud, suddenly realizing what Bruk had scattered all over her hab. Thousands upon thousands of books, in print, on pages most likely made of a synthesized paper. "Habitha, why does..."

"The master prefers it that way." the synth said, with a trace of irritation.

"Of course." Mara said, taken slightly aback. Then the automaton began speaking louder. "Master Bruk?"

"Yes?" an odd voice responded from somewhere in the stacks.

"Miss Mara is here to see you."

Miss? Mara wondered. Nobody had ever called her 'Miss' Mara before.

"Who?" the strangely creaky voice asked.

"Miss Mara. Former wife of your granddaughter Miss Tyr?", the synth paused for a moment, but apart from the sound of rustling papers there was no response. "Whom you agreed to meet?", another pause, again met with shuffling sounds. "TODAY?" the synth tapped its foot impatiently. Mara couldn't help but smile, it was an impressive simulation.

"Dammit Habby, where did you put my notes?"

The synth glanced at Mara. "Just a minute, Mara," it said, and then wandered off into the stacks in the general direction of the voice, soon disappearing out of sight.

"If you would actually let me clean up around here, you might actually be able to find your notes."

"Don't touch anything, you'll ruin my whole system."

More frenzied rustling noises emanated from the stacks, followed by the sound of a large pile of books and papers toppling to the floor. Mara put a hand over her mouth.

"Well don't just stand there. Help me with this."

"Oh now you want my help do you?"

"Habitha..."

"I could put this entire hab in order in moments, but no..."

"Habby..."

"*sigh* Here they are. You were SITTING on them." At this there was a lengthy pause. "All part of your system?" Mara tried to stifle her laughter.

"Isn't there something else you have to do right now?" Bruk asked, clearly irritated.

The synth emerged shortly thereafter and smiled wanly at Mara. "The master will see you now, " it said, before leaving the chamber and shutting the hinged door behind it.

Moments later Bruk emerged from the stacks and approached Mara with a smile. She wore grey slacks, a powder blue button-down shirt, and a tweed jacket which had a bit of wear on it. It was immediately apparent why her voice had sounded so strange--Bruk was expressing male! For whatever reason, Bruk had expressed her male genes, causing her to have a male physique. She had chosen not only to be male, but to also be quite old... receding hairline, wispy white hair, and a neatly cropped white beard. She wore a pair of rimmed lenses over her eyes.

Mara was immediately alarmed. Generally immortals only expressed male when they intended to breed, or on rare occasions for sexual play. Mara began to wonder exactly what Bruk had in mind, and immediately backed away from her.

"I'm sorry Bruk." Mara said, holding up a hand, "I did not come here to breed."

A pained look crossed Bruk's face. "Oh for goodness sake. I didn't invite you here to breed."

"Then why are you expressing male?"

"I'm not expressing male, young lady. I *am* male."

"What?"

"I'm not a Gamman like you, Mara. I was born Homo sapiens, on Earth, as a male. My parents got me into the Lentus program when I was 16, and I didn't make the transition to Immortalis until I was 492. I wasn't just born an immortal female like you."

"But don't you have a standard immortalis genome?"

"Of course."

"Well, why don't you just express female?"

"Because I'm not a female!"

"I don't understand."

"No I suppose you wouldn't. Let me put it another way. Your appearance is Indian."

"Yes, my ancestors hailed from India."

"Right, but with the immortalis genome you can express however you like, so why don't you express as caucasian?"

"Well I could but..." her voice trailed off.

"But you're not caucasian are you? Your Indian appearance is part of your identity--you might choose to express differently in certain occasions, but your natural state is as you are."

Mara wore a chagrined expression. "I'm sorry Bruk, I misunderstood."

"Well, " he said with a sigh, "you wouldn't be the first. I'm a real hit at parties."

Mara giggled.

"I suppose Tyr didn't warn you either."

"No, she didn't. Tyr thinks I place too much emphasis on physical appearance, I suspect she thought it would be good for me to meet you unprepared."

"Uh-huh. She's a fish. And she thinks YOU need help?"

Mara laughed suddenly. Tyr was right, Bruk was quite a character.

"Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love some, but we only have 90 minutes, I don't want to take up too much of your time."

"Oh that's just Habby trying to manage my schedule. I swear she thinks she's in charge," Bruk said, and then raised his voice, "Habby?" he called, and then jumped as the synth materialized next to him.

"Yes Master Bruk?"

"How many times have I told you not to pop in and out like that? You walk in and out of the door like a normal person."

"Yes of course, that's much more efficient."

Bruk stared at the synth for a moment. "Go get us some tea."

"You had six worlds slated for this afternoon."

"Extend my schedule. After you go and get us some tea."

"Yes Master Bruk," the synth said and promptly dematerialized.

The miffed expression on his face was priceless. Mara laughed again.

Shortly thereafter, the synth returned, this time using the hinged door, carrying a platter upon which was a porcelain decanter, teacups, and various other containers.

While Habitha and Bruk conversed, Mara studied the old man. The very notion of an "old man" seemed anachronistic--his mobility seemed somewhat limited, and his appearance was not youthful. But he still seemed beautiful in his own way, he had a dignity about him. Her eyes kept returning to his beard--she had never seen a person with one. Kennis had expressed male once or twice, but never long enough to have a beard--and Mara preferred Kennis in her natural state anyway. It seemed so strange a thing and yet it made Bruk appear distinguished--erudite. Now why should that be? Mara wondered. Why does a beard connote erudition?

His eyes were bright and blue and he seemed sharp and aware, but there was also an air of confusion about him. Absentmindedness was unheard of among immortals. Even if he should allow his body to age to some degree, that would not explain why he wouldn't remember his appointment with her. Or where he kept his notes. Or even why he had to take notes in the first place. The biology of the immortal brain was finite--it simply could not retain all the information in an infinite life--a large portion of the memory was stored in the data core of the hab, and maintained by a network of nanos which could transmit the information over considerable distances. The hab-core was quantum entangled to a backup core in a secure location, so in the event of the loss of a hab, the immortal's memory would not be lost. The communication between the immortal's brain, the nanos, and the habcores was essentially instantaneous--providing an infinite memory that was always accessible. To the immortal it was simply "remembering"--there was no effort involved, it simply happened--and had been designed that way, the immortal never knew whether her memories were biologically based or in "offsite storage". Even though Bruk had no network port, such a device was not a necessary component in the retrieval of memory.

"Well," Bruk said, after the tea had been set out and Habitha had departed, "before we talk planets, I imagine you have some questions for me. There are always questions. Anything else about me being male? Would you like to touch it?"

Mara thought that quite a nonsequitur and wondered just what exactly he was referring to. "Touch it?"

"My beard, " he said, "Gammans always seem to be preoccupied with it."

Mara felt a little embarrassed--she had been staring after all. "In truth, I have never seen a person with one. Yes, may I touch it?"

Bruk smiled and leaned forward to allow Mara to lightly caress his bearded chin. She wrinkled her nose slightly and drew her hand back.

"It's soft yet bristly, and it tickles to the touch. I think it quite charming."

"The ladies loved it back in the day. Anything else?"

"Why have you chosen to age?"

"Getting old is part of the human condition. I was much more "aged" than this when I made the transition to immortalis. But I couldn't bring myself to unwind all the years and go back to being the equivalent of 30 years old again. My life was almost over when I became immortal... being old was part of who I was. I wound the clock back to my 120's though, which is when I still had strength, mobility, and so forth. It would be like you going back to being an adolescent again."

"But is there not some discomfort in the age you have chosen?"

"Yes. But an eternally happy and painless existence is not natural."

"Excuse me?"

"How can one truly know happiness or pleasure, if one hasn't also known sadness or pain?"

"But a life need not have constant physical pain to make one appreciate happiness. I lost my beautiful Tyr many millennia ago and I am still saddened by it."

There was a brief mistiness in Bruk's eyes, as if he were seeing something long since gone. He came out of it almost immediately. "It pleases me to be a crotchety old fart full of discomfort. Anything else?"

"Why do you keep books?"

Bruk looked baffled. "To read, girl. Why else would I keep books?"

"You READ them?"

"Well of course I read them. How else am I going to learn what is in them?"

"But you could read them instantaneously if you had a network port, and then you wouldn't have to fill your hab with them."

"I'm a human being not a computer. Knowledge isn't supposed to just magically appear in your brain, you are supposed to work for it! Besides, I *like* reading books. Have you ever tried it?"

"Well. No not like you do. I suppose I should try it, perhaps I would like it too."

"Damn right you should. Everyone should. Why if I didn't read books you wouldn't be here."

"What do you mean?" Mara asked.

Bruk closed his eyes for a moment, and Mara instinctively took it as him sampling the network, but immediately realized that couldn't be the case. He was trying to remember something. Keeping his eyes closed, he began to recite, and Mara heard her own words coming from his mouth:

"...The truth alas I must concede
Both are blossoms, both are reeds,
Both the same, with different needs--
From the pistil comes no seed."

Opening his eyes, he took on an apologetic look "sorry if I didn't get it right."

"You read my book, Songs of Tyr?"

"Yes, and I savored every word. Marvelous poetry. It was pleasing to hear about Tyr from such a unique perspective. Poetry, there's a perfect example of something that should be experienced in its proper meter, slowly and thoughtfully. Fifty thousand years of love should not appear fully formed as a blip in the mind."

"My Kennis seemed to like it."

"Maybe SHE should read a book."

"I think she's just fine the way she is." Mara stated plainly. She did not like the implication that simply because she (or particularly Kennis) hadn't experienced something Bruk had, they were doing something wrong.

"But not Tyr." Bruk added, with a bit of challenge in his voice. Mara realized he didn't like the fact that she and Tyr were not together, and seemed to have directed that displeasure at Kennis. She found his rapid changes in direction and mood somewhat unsettling--he definitely didn't seem to think like any immortal she knew.

"I am not with Kennis because I thought there was something wrong with Tyr. As you should well know since you read Songs of Tyr, Tyr wanted something from me I could not give her. After awhile this began to make her unhappy, and I couldn't bear being the source of her unhappiness. So I let her go, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I will not sit here and be judged for it." She picked up a napkin from the platter and dabbed at her eyes.

"Well, " Bruk said "then you did what you thought was best for Tyr, and I can't begrudge you that. I'm sorry Mara. And she seemed quite happy with that girl... what's her name?"

"Ellan. How do you not know her name? You seem to have trouble with recollection--keeping notes, forgetting appointments, names, and so forth. Is your brain... damaged?"

"Damaged? No my brain isn't damaged. It's just not nano-assisted."

Mara's eyes widened in surprise. "You don't have nanomemory? But... how do you... remember?"

"Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I forget."

"But why would you--"

"Sometimes," he said, drawing in a pregnant breath, "you want to forget. And besides, I can't remember many of the details of my early life--this too is part of the human condition. I couldn't go from my natural state to a state of total recall. I don't need all those memories to be who I am."

Mara was speechless.

"Look. This tea we're about to have. It's a chamomile tea. Have you ever had chamomile tea before?"

"Yes, I had chamomile tea with Kennis and her friend Lispeth 113,761 years ago. We thought it might be a lark to eat a meal, so we had a breakfast of synthetic fruits and bread and listened to Lispeth's latest symphony--"

"This is exactly what I am talking about. Why do you NEED that memory? What has that got to do with anything? You're so busy data dumping the details of the event you forgot to say what the tea was like. Or if you even liked it."

"Perhaps if I had not been interrupted..." Mara said, tilting her head and cocking an eyebrow at Bruk with a little half smile.

Bruk smirked, "patience has never been a virtue of mine."

"Well, two and a half million years of impatience... it appears there's a test of wills between you and eternity."

"Yes, but I intend to win."

Mara laughed and then looked about alarmed as the room trembled slightly. "What was THAT?"

"Oh that's just the star. It will soon nova."

"Nova?!"

"Yes, at some point in the next few thousand years, it will catastrophically destroy itself, the end of its life. It's why Habitha is always after me about my schedule. I've wanted to complete my galactic survey before I die."

Mara knew that there were some rare few immortals that had chosen to die--some had simply become tired of living itself, others felt that they had accomplished everything they wanted to. Others had lost loved ones to tragic accidents and did not wish to continue existing afterward. That the alphan wished to die was nonetheless a completely alien concept to her.

"You choose to live here in Perdition because you wish to die?"

"Perdition?"

"Sorry, it's the name Kennis gave this star system--it had no name on record."

Bruk chuckled, "oh I like her, she sounds a sport. Much better than the name I chose--much better indeed. But yes, when Perdition dies, so will I."

He regarded her silently. The question was obvious but it would have been an invasion of his privacy to ask it. "You doubtless want to know why."

She nodded.

"I'm old, Mara. I don't just mean in appearance, I am incalculably old. Everything I recognize from my entire species has changed into something else. Earth itself is an alien ecosystem--there are no humans there. I've explored the galaxy for millions of years and made countless discoveries of worlds, other life forms, perplexing and beautifully complex planetary systems. I have discovered so much that the process of discovery itself holds no pleasure for me. What is there when newness itself is tedious?"

"You need not devote yourself to discovery. Why not create? Art? Music? Books? Share your discoveries with others and hear their thoughts? As it is you spend your life utterly alone with only a synth for companionship, why not seek a partner--someone to share your life with?"

"These are all arguments I've heard before, from Habitha herself. I had a partner Mara, a long time ago--another Alphan named Jyreeza. We were in the Lentus Program together, and I loved her dearly. We were both very old when the immortalis conversion became available, all of our children had undergone the process and they asked us to as well. We looked forward to seeing them grow, and an infinite future together seemed like paradise at the time."

Mara could sense what was coming--the immortalis conversion according to historical record had a 5% failure rate. "Jyreeza did not survive the conversion?"

He nodded, "and I've lived an eternity without her. I do not want another partner. I've lived a long time, Mara, and I think now, it is long enough. Death is part of what it means to be human."

She did not agree, but kept her thoughts to herself--it was an intensely private thing, and it was not her place to intrude. "I'm sorry, Bruk, I didn't mean to pry."

"That's fine. Take a sip of your tea before it gets cold."

She did so, and found it fabulously superior to the last chamomile tea she had sampled. "This is superb!"

"It's not synthetic. There's a greenhouse in my hab and I've grown the plants myself from the genetic database."

The room trembled again. Mara, are you feeling that? Hab says this star is pretty unstable. We probably shouldn't stay long. Kennis transmitted.

"Bruk, Kennis is concerned about Perdition putting us at risk."

"Tell her not to worry, Habitha has positioned an extensive network of probes around the star and she will be able to tell several hours before it goes nova."

Darling, Bruk's hab is monitoring the star closely and will be able to warn us well in advance of any actual danger. See you soon my love.

Keeping the bath warm for you... Kennis responded. Mara could almost feel Kennis smirking.

After they had finished the tea, Bruk led Mara through a series of hinged doors to another room full of bookshelves--these were filled with notebooks in which Bruk's observations of every world he had visited were recorded. Unlike the library, this room was fastidiously tidy. On a low circular table four notebooks had been set out.

"I had Habitha set these out earlier. There are several worlds in each one but among them four candidates which I think you will like of which one is my particular favorite, a world I called Shiran. Would you like to make a quick hop there to have a look at it?"

"Your hab is integrated into the mountainside... how will we do this? For that matter how have you been doing it all along?"

"Habitha is a hab within a hab, the outer hab is a relatively thin layer of infrastructure. You've been inside the inner hab for most of your time here--something I call the pod. The pod hops directly from inside the hab to any location of my choosing."

"But hops are imprecise--how do you get the pod back inside the hab?"

"The outer hab contains nanobeacons that communicate with the pod, allowing the pod to orient itself perfectly and hop back inside the outer hab."

"That's ingenious! Why have I never heard of this technology?"

"Because I haven't published it. Habitha maintains digital copies of my work which are set to be published the instant Perdition goes nova--my last contribution to my species. Now would you like to see Shiran?"

Bruk jumped suddenly as Habitha materialized. "Dammit woman, haven't I asked you not to do that?"

The synth pointedly ignored his irritation. "I've finished cleaning up the tea cups and have reorganized your schedule, master Bruk. But there is a failure in the nanobeacon network."

"A failure? What's this now?"

"The star's last disturbance seems to have disrupted the nanobeacons. I am effecting repairs but the pod cannot hop during the repair process."

Bruk handed the four notebooks to Mara. "Well, I guess you'll have to go without me then, everything you will need will be in there. Do you some good to read it."

There was another tremble, and at this a number of notebooks fell from their shelves in a heap.

"And it looks like I have plenty to do anyway." Bruk noted ruefully.

"Don't touch anything," Habitha said sharply, "you will mess up my whole system." She brushed past Bruk and began sorting the fallen notebooks.

Mara laughed. "Bruk, why don't you come with Kennis and I? We'll hop to Shiran and have a look, and then bring you back."

"Well..." Bruk began.

"Oh please, would you get him out of my hair for an afternoon? That would be marvelous." Habitha said without looking up.

"Habby. You know I prefer to stay here."

"Well I suppose you and I could spend the afternoon going over your schedule, " Habitha said sweetly with a sardonic smile, "if you think you'd enjoy that more."

Bruk held up his hands "fine, fine, fine." He looked at Mara, "you're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. We'd love to have you. I'll just let Kennis know you are coming--she's in the bath."

Habitha made a shooing motion with her hands. "Go on, go on, I've work to do and you are in my way."

Minutes later Bruk and Mara reentered her own hab. Having been warned in advance by Mara, Kennis was not at all surprised by Bruk's appearance, but strangely he was surprised at hers. She had adorned a small tiara, gold bracelets, and necklaces of jade beads and bits of coral. Mara thought she looked lovely. Bruk thought otherwise.

"Hello Bruk, welcome to our hab. I am Kennis. Mara has told me about your visit. I'm pleased that you have decided to visit with us."

"Goodness, girl, put on some clothes!" he responded, averting his eyes.

"What?" she said glancing down at herself "Am I so repulsive?"

"Would you please dress?"

Bruk's a bit eccentric Kennis, maybe you should put something on. *I* think you are beautiful. Mara transmitted.

"Very well, if you insist. I apologize for offending you though I don't see what the problem is." She placed her hands on her hips and waited as a mist of nanos surrounded her and synthesized a satin kimono, turquoise with lapis accents. "Better?"

Bruk glanced at her, "Much. Sorry Kennis, in my day, people didn't greet guests unclothed--that was reserved for lovers."

"I apologize."

"No that's... that's fine." He seemed quite shaken, much to Mara and Kennis' amusement.

"Well it's good to know that if I get tired of your presence I have a sure fire way to get rid of you." Kennis said, with a smirk.

"Kennis!" Mara said, partly shocked but still laughing.

Bruk glanced at Mara, "Oh I *do* like her."

After the pleasantries, including Kennis touching Bruk's beard, they retired to the atrium where Bruk read the coordinates of Shiran from his notebook, aloud, and the hab disengaged from his own, lifted off and made the hop. Immediately an immense swirl of stars became visible through the windows of the atrium. Both Mara and Kennis were transfixed by it--it was a galaxy.

"Where are we?" Mara asked.

"We are in the Small Magellanic Cloud, you are looking at the Milky Way." Bruk said, "Hab, can we have a view of Shiran?"

An image appeared on the atrium wall of a terrestrial world--blue and green and dotted with white clouds.

"Shiran." Bruk said simply.

"It's beautiful, Bruk. How does it come by this environment? Is that vegetation?"

"It is. From my survey here I was able to discern that Shiran was once inhabited by a sentient species--ruins on the surface make this clear. But they were wiped out by a disease that they were unable to cure. All that remains is some limited vegetation and microbial life. The biochemistry is very similar to that of Earth--you should be able to create humans here with minor alterations to allow them to metabolize this vegetation. You could also seed the environment with various species from Earth, but of course they'll all need to be altered slightly. Gravity is 1.1 G, rotation period is 31 hours, two satellites, one very tiny (350 km diameter--probably a captured asteroid) and one much larger (2100 km diameter.) Atmospheric makeup is similar to Earth's but has enough differences that genetic modification will be required. Not too bad though. All in all it's a perfect fit for your requirements. Would you like to go down and have a look?"

"Yes! It sounds marvelous. Kennis, will you come?"

"Of course, darling."

[Proximity warning. A traveler is arriving.] Hab transmitted.

"What?" Mara said aloud, while Kennis glanced out the window.

Bruk looked at her strangely. "I didn't say anything," he said.

"Hab, Bruk has no network port, please address all common broadcasts vocally."

"Yes Mara, " the disembodied voice of the hab filled the air, " apologies Bruk, I was not aware that you were not network enabled. Welcome to the hab of Mara and Kennis, you have been granted full guest access to all hab functions."

"Thank you, please repeat your last broadcast."

"Proximity warning. A traveler is arriving. Vehicle has hopped in and is entering orbit around Shiran."

Mara was crestfallen--"could the original inhabitants of this world be returning to claim it?"

"No, I don't understand it. From my brief survey I saw no evidence of a space faring culture. Hab, can we have a view of the visitor?"

The image on the atrium wall flickered and showed an oblong vessel, roughly ovoid, with no visible markings or windows--just a pair of hatches and an otherwise featureless hull of dark gray metal.

"What is that?" Mara asked.

"The pod." Bruk said, and with sudden realization, "Damn you Habitha."

"The what?" Kennis asked.

Hab began vocalizing again, "Mara, you asked to be notified of new entries in the planetary catalog. Catalog size has just increased by 1,512,378 worlds."

"DAMN YOU HABITHA!" Bruk exploded. "Nanobeacon failure my foot! Dammit!"

"Incoming data stream from other vessel. Vessel identifies itself as the hab of Bruk, and requests access rights to manifest a synth. Mara or Kennis, will you receive this stream?" Hab announced.

"Yes." Kennis and Mara said together. Instantly, Habitha appeared in a swirl of nanos.

"Your works have been published in accordance with your wishes, master Bruk."

"They were supposed to be published in the event of my death, Habitha."

"Your specific instructions were to publish them when Perdition became a nova."

"Yes, and I was supposed to be there at the time."

"I am aware of that."

"You lied to me, Habby."

"Yes I did. I carried out my prime directive through the only means you left me."

A hab's prime directive was to protect its occupants at all costs.

"The prime directive includes a right to die clause, Habitha."

"Bruk, " the synth said, taking on an unsettlingly human tone, " you coded me to look like her, think like her, and act like her. What would she have done?"

His eyes filled with tears. "Habitha, please delete all iterations of the Kindred program."

Habitha nodded and said with a smile, "I think that's best." Immediately the synth collapsed into a cloud of nanos that streamed away through various vents.

"Goodbye Jyreeza, " he whispered softly.

Photos from the Ice Storm in Fitchburg

Abacquer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:30:40 -0500

Last week's ice storm really socked us here in Fitchburg. We lost power for seven days, but fortunately had access to a generator so we could run our furnace. Finally got my pictures from the storm uploaded.

Peter Schiff on FOX News in 2006 and 2007

Abacquer — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:37:35 -0500

YouTube video of loons at Faux News laughing at Peter Schiff as he tries to warn of impending financial disaster in the 07-08 timeframe:

Peter Schiff Was Right 2006 - 2007 (2nd Edition)

What stock picks were the FOX tools recommending? WaMu, Merril Lynch, Goldman Sachs... financials basically.

NYT on Nate

Abacquer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:57:37 -0500

Here's a nice article in the New York Times about Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight who's predictions about the 2008 presidential and senate races were so amazingly accurate. Hat tip to my friend Bruce who brought the article to my attention.

Hear Hear or Here Here?

Abacquer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:04:35 -0500

So today I found myself agreeing with someone online and went to type "hear hear" but then remembered seeing someone else type "here here" a couple days earlier.

I was pretty sure the correct phrase was "hear hear" as opposed to the other variants I'd seen ("here here", "hear here", "here hear") but I'd never actually looked it up. So I decided to check popular internet usage using Google:

"hear hear" = 1,740,000 hits
"here here" = 3,880,000 hits
"hear here" = 307,000 hits
"here hear" = 334,000 hits

Well dang. According to popular usage twice as many people say "here here" than say "hear hear". But is that correct? Wikipedia says no:

Hear hear (Wikipedia):
...Hear, hear is an expression used as a short repeated form of hear ye and hear him. It represents a listener's agreement with the point being made by a speaker.

It was originally an imperative for directing attention to speakers, and has since been used, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, as "the regular form of cheering in the House of Commons", with many purposes depending on the intonation of its user. It is often incorrectly spelled "here here", especially on websites...

A quick double check of OneLook Dictionary Search confirms this. Six dictionaries list "hear hear" and only one lists "here here" (and that one happens to be the wiki article above.)

Popular usage drives the movement of meaning, though, so at some point in the future "here here" may end up being the correct phrase if we don't do something about it.

So if you want to avoid yet another English colloquialism that will have your great grandchildren scratching their heads and saying "WTF?" (or whatever kids will be saying in those days) then type "hear hear" at every opportunity.

Go on, say it, you know you want to.

Election: Proposition 48 in Colorado -- Religiously Espoused Gov't Interference

Abacquer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:38:33 -0500

Phil Plait of Bad Astronomy has a penetrating and thoughtful article about proposition 48 in Colorado. This proposition would declare a fertilized human egg "a human", thus elevating nonpersons such as zygotes and blastocysts to full human status. This is an obvious ploy to outlaw abortion and embryonic stem cell research without challenging them directly. Read the article, and if you are a Colorado voter, please, come down on the side of reason, not religion:

When is a human human? (Bad Astronomy):
…There are other vital issues, like how granting civil rights to a collection of cells takes away many civil rights of women, and the huge increase in governmental involvement this would mean in people’s lives. These are important to be sure, but not the point I want to make here. Also, these are age-old arguments, and in fact I can see where intelligent people can come down on opposite sides of them.

The real point is, Prop 48 isn’t about science, and it’s not even about legal issues. It’s about religion. This proposition is obviously based solely on religious beliefs; there is little reason outside of that to even bring the argument up that a fertilized egg is entitled to rights as a human being. It is only the belief that the human soul enters the cell at that moment that this is an issue at all.

Proposition 48 is religion trying to create legislation, pure and simple.…

Looking Iffy

Abacquer — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:03:19 -0400

Yeesh. Things are starting to look a little iffy in my industry. So far my work has been unaffected by the instability in the markets, but I am beginning to hear from other developers that potential clients are becoming nervy about starting new development projects. Hopefully that won't hit us, but frankly I've been expecting it to. Usually software houses take a hit when the market looks uncertain.

Anyway, I have a lot to do and I am heads down on it. This post (and my previous 3) have been posted via "moblogging"--I send an e-mail to the blog provider and they turn it into a post. Still planning on doing a blogathon on Tuesday November 4 to cover the election. I encourage all my friends to drop me an e-mail with their experiences at polling stations.

Juncos are Back...

Abacquer — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:37:43 -0400

Just saw some Juncos outside when I was looking out the washroom window. Yet another sign that colder days are upon us.

I really should get some birdseed... it's been awhile since I've just sat and watched my feathered friends.

Products of the Morning Toil

Abacquer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:13:29 -0400

Today I went in for my "final impressions" which is what you see in this image (crappy quality because I used a cellphone to shoot it.)

The blue thing at lower left is the final upper impression. It will be used to mold the fit of the upper denture.
The blue thing at lower right is the final lower impression that will be used to mold the fit of the lower denture. Eventually I will probably need one more lower impression to reline the lower denture once my gums have healed and receded.
The white thing in the center is an amalgum impression of my temporary upper denture. This will be used to shape the teeth in the new denture so they will look and feel consistent with what I have right now.
That pink and yellow monstrosity at the top is a wax model. The pink part is wax, I don't know what the yellow part is made from. The whole wax part of this model had to be in my mouth at once! Not pleasant. The dentist has carved out some teeth on the upper part for reference. He will use this to make sure the bite of the new dentures matches my current bite, and to make sure everything fits.

The dentures will be ready in about 4 weeks, and then I will have the surgery to remove the teeth.

And then I will be officially toothless.

Seven More To Go

Abacquer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:54:16 -0400

As you know I had extensive oral surgery last year to remove all but seven of my teeth for health reasons. Over the intervening year I have watched those remaining teeth degrade over time. Before long they were staining, losing chips, and otherwise falling apart... as I had feared they might.

The other day my lower partial denture broke in half so I visited my dentist this morning and asked him to look at the teeth. He was surprised at their state. He could tell I have been taking care of them, but nonetheless they are deteriorating rapidly. There was nothing else for it really, except to remove these teeth as well.

So he took an impression today for a new (full) lower plate and an updated impression for the upper denture, plus x-rays for the oral surgeon. In two weeks time I go to see him again for some final impressions and then they will set up my surgery. After that I'll be back for adjustments and then the long sorry tale of my teeth will finally be over.

I'm blue about it of course, but I am trying to take it in stride. These things happen. Better it be handled now before these teeth start making me sick again.

It turned out that the temporary lower partial was indeed not made to last, the final lower partial would have had a metal or otherwise far more permanent construction. At least I got a year+ wear out of it. No sense in repairing it now since the rest of the teeth have to go.

What's With That Big Glowing Ball in the Sky?

Abacquer — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:36:06 -0400

Oh I remember now... that's the sun! I saw that the day we left to go on our vacation here in Rainland. How nice that it has decided to grace us with its presence... on the last day. Well I'm not going to be cynical today (I mean, after this point). Clark's Bridge was a bust yesterday... rain dumping down and you have to pay to get in to the tourist trap it is ensconced in... a veritable fortress of phony, brightly-painted, dreck. So I'm not going back there. But maybe I can get to the Flume Bridge today. We'll see. Either way there should be something to shoot.

Unless it starts raining.

Okay, starting from now, I mean...

Designing the Fun Away

Abacquer — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:52:38 -0400

Ever have a challenging pastime to which you applied analytical skills and ended up making it so easy it ceased to be fun? This happens to me occasionally. A couple years back we had a sort of "puzzle craze" in the United Stated over "sudoku", a sort of numeric logic puzzle originating from Japan.

The basic puzzle is a 9x9 box of squares in which some of the squares have been filled in with numbers. Your assignment is to fill in the rest of the squares by following 3 simple rules: (1) each number can appear only once in each row, (2) each number can appear only once in each column, (3) each number can appear only once in each "major square". The major squares are nine 3x3 boxes superimposed over the 9x9 puzzle in a non-overlapping fashion (so the first major square is formed by columns 1, 2, and 3 where they pass through rows 1, 2, and 3, the next at the intersection of columns 4, 5, and 6 with rows 1, 2, and 3, and so on.) Since every row contains 9 squares, and every column contains 9 squares, and every major square contains 9 squares, the only numbers you will ever add to the puzzle are the numbers 1 to 9.

There are larger and more complex variants on the basic sudoku, but the above is the most popular and familiar variety. I did sudokus for awhile but eventually tired of them and moved on to new pastimes.

One reason I tired of them is that a large part of sudoku is simple, repetitive, busy work. You eliminate the possibilities for each square until a solution pops out for one square and then you fill that in and go back and reevaluate the possibilities for the other squares. For example, a given square can be any number between 1 and 9. But if you look at the column that square is in and find 1, 5, and 6 are already used, those are no longer possibilities for that square. If the row that square is in contains 2, 3, and 7, then those possibilities are also eliminated. Further if the major square it is in already contains 4 and 9, then those possibilities are eliminated too, leaving only 8, so in this case the square must be 8.

It's much more interesting when you start getting into the more complicated bits of reasoning that involve multiple squares. Like for instance if a major square is filled in except for two squares, then those two squares have only two possibilities. Let's say the possibilities are 5 and 9. Further assume that these two squares are in the same row (or column). Immediately we can say of all the other squares in that row (or column) that none can be 5 or 9 since those two options have to be used up by those two squares. But getting to that point involves getting through a period of tedious repetition.

But when you are stuck in a cabin in the rain for a day, away from the amenities you typically would enjoy, even a tedious pastime is welcome. However, I've found one thing consistently true among software engineers: they generally hate doing tasks by hand which would be better done by a simple computer program. So I was plonking along with sudoku puzzles, eliminating options by hand when I said "this is stupid, I could make a simple spreadsheet macro to do this for me."

So I built a spreadsheet that would show me the remaining possibilities for each row and column as a row or column header. Then when I was eliminating possibilities for major squares I said "this is stupid, I can use the same macro to do this for me." So I added a bit to my spreadsheet to show me the possibilities remaining for every major square. So now for a given cell I could compare the possibilities for its row, to the possibilities for its column, and the possibilities for its major square and the intersection of those three would represent the possibilities for the cell. (For example, if the cell is in a row with 4,5,6,7 available, and a column with 2,3,5,7,8 available, and a major square with 1,5,7,9 available, the possibilities for that cell are only 5 and 7, because that is the intersection of the three sets of possibilities.)

I suppose you can guess what happened next. "This is stupid, I can write a simple function to take the intersection of these possibilities."

One other basic sudoku-solving technique is to look for "loners". A loner is the only square in a row (or column or major square) that includes a particular number as one of its possibilities. For example if you have four unfilled squares in a major square and their possibilites are (2,3,4), (2,3,5), (3,5), and (2,5) you can say the first one has to be 4. Even though 2 and 3 are possibilities for this square, since it is the only square that can be 4, then it must be 4. Finding loners is also tedious, and you can imagine what I did as a result. "This is stupid, yadda yadda yadda..."

So now I had a spreadsheet that would eliminate all the impossible values for a square based on simple cross checking and which would identify loners for me. But I found as I was entering puzzles that this solved so much of the puzzle automatically, there was very little left for me to do. The spreadsheet would notify me when I caused an error (forced the possibilities for a cell to dwindle to nothing) and in those cases where I needed to make a guess to explore one possible solution, the spreadsheet would allow me to snapshot the puzzle at that point so I could get back to it if the puzzle didn't work out. With these features available puzzles rated "difficult" were taking under 2 minutes to solve. After 5 or 6 of them I shut Excel done and was done with sudoku for the day. Why bother? It was too easy now.

The pastime had become writing the code to perform the tedious operations. Once that was accomplished I was no longer interested in performing those operations. Go figure.

Watching Ants

Abacquer — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:04:49 -0400

Yes I know, first I'm writing about the likelihood of contacting alien civilizations, then I'm talking about immortal humans who have sex for three days straight and write books in their sleep, and then about creepy flickrites, and now I am writing about watching ants. You don't come here for consistency.

I was leaving my office around lunchtime the other day for a brief walk. The front of the building has a raised garden with some azaleas and a really nice looking stone wall bordering it. As I walked out I noticed the wall was swimming in tiny black ants. Not the big ones you see wondering solo, but hordes of teensy ones. Usually that means that a tasty food item has been discovered and the colony is out to disassemble it and carry it back. I could see where the ants were clumped up, but didn't notice anything there that I recognized as anything ants would want to eat. But I figured maybe somebody had spilled a soda and they were gobbling up dried sugars right off the rockface. I went off to my walk and didn't think any more about it.

Later that night when I left work, I glanced at the wall and noticed the big cluster of ants was still there, but it had moved a few feet to the right. Again no food was evident. Just ants in a big tangled mass. So I leaned close to peer at them and noticed that ants were bunching up around other ants, and apparently biting each other. Other ants seemed to be carrying away dead (or dying ants). I leaned back and noticed that unlike a typical feeding situation where you see a river of ants leading from the colony to the food and back, this was the meeting place of two rivers of ants. One from one crevice about 5 feet to the left, and another from a crevice about 4 feet to the right.

That's when I realized I wasn't watching a feeding frenzy. I was watching a war. It was an epic battle between two colonies of ants that had both claimed this rock wall as their territory. Thousands upon thousands of ants continually poured from both crevices, and converged in the center to engage in a massive melee. It was mesmerizing to watch the supply lines bringing in fresh ants as the wounded or the dead were hauled away (presumably as food). They moved in tides and complex whorling patterns as they made war... it was so intricate it was actually mesmerizing. I checked my camera bag but I had neglected to bring ANY macro lenses with me that day, or I would have had pictures of all-out insect warfare and abject carnage to upload to my photostream.

It made me a little sad to think of these ants fighting for hours over a few feet of turf. After 15 minutes I suddenly realized the time and made a mental note to bring my macro lens to work today.

But when I arrived this morning, the battle was over, and the battlefield had been swept clean. Had I not noticed it, the day before, I never would have known it had happened. In my inner thoughts I could not help but make the connection between the affairs of the ants and the affairs of humanity. In 100,000 years, if humans are still here, what great battles and wretched suffering of ours will have passed into the unknown? Will we forget World War 2? Will we forget the Holocaust? Will we repeat it? Big thoughts from the tragic ant war of June 25, 2008.

Silent Sky - A Thought Experiment

Abacquer — Wed, 28 May 2008 12:57:30 -0400

This is an interesting thought experiment and it involves statistics and some figuring, so I welcome any of my smart friends or anybody who cares to think about it to chime in here.

Assume that sentient civilizations with the ability to transmit some form of radiant communications signals (radio, light, whatever) started appearing in our galaxy as early as 4.5 billion years ago (when the Earth was forming), and assume that they continue to appear (each on its own evolutionary trajectory) for another 4.5 billion years. Further assume that over this timespan of 9 billion years a total of one million different intelligent civilizations begin transmitting radiant communications. After a random time period of 100 to 1000 years each civilization stops transmitting radiant signals, either because they move on to a better technology that does not require radiant communication (pretty much necessary for interstellar communications) or the civilization dies out. Finally given that our galaxy's diameter is about 100,000 light years, assume that any of these civilizations when transmitting would be at some random distance from us which does not exceed 100,000 light years (yes I know that's a little big since we aren't at the very edge of the galaxy, but bear with me.)

Now, here we are, smack-dab in the middle of that timescale, halfway between year 1 and year 9 billion. We turn an array of radio telescopes to the sky and listen in all directions simultaneously, constantly, for a period of 1,000 years.

Is our sky silent? Or is it noisy? With a million civilizations out there at some point or another, all sending signals out at different times, what are the chances we would hear none of them at all even if we listen for 1000 years?

I threw together a crude simulation last night to try and answer this question, and I have a result which you might find surprising, but I'm curious to know what other people think first. Care to venture a guess? Or perhaps create your own sim and see what results you get? I'll post my results tomorrow.

Das Rad

Abacquer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:46:54 -0400

Here's a funny animation I caught on Pharyngula, the excellent science blog by P.Z. Myers. The audio is German, but there are subtitles. I got a kick out of it, perhaps you will too?

Das Rad

Soil Bacteria of Antibiotics: "Delicious!"

Abacquer — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:17:03 -0400

I was listening to NPR Science Friday on podcast a few nights ago and caught an interesting segment detailing a recent discovery regarding bacteria found in soil. It has been demonstrated (for example, by the discovery of the nylon bug) that bacteria in the presence of an abundance of one substance or another may evolve to be able to metabolize that substance... even if the substance is synthetic. It's also been shown that bacteria in the constant presence of antibiotics will evolve immunity.

These newly discovered soil bacteria have done both. That is, not are they only immune to a disturbingly long list of known antibiotics, they have evolved to the point where they can actually eat antibiotics. The Royal Society of Chemisty has an article on this recent discovery:

[...] The soil samples were taken from many different places [in the USA] including public parks and farms, pristine forest, and land treated with wastewater.

'The increase of multiple-antibiotic resistance in human pathogens is continuingly weakening our ability to fight infectious disease, and any accessible reservoir of resistance mechanisms that could transfer to pathogens could exacerbate the problem,' say Dantas and Sommer.

So far, the researchers haven't found any known human pathogens among their antibiotic-consuming organisms, but they say that some are closely related species. This might make it rather easy for pathogens to acquire antibiotic-resistance and antibiotic-metabolising genes from innocuous bacteria. [...]

Scary stuff! But rather unsurprising since antibiotics get into the environment every day through their continued use.

The segment on the antibiotic-munching bacteria was followed by another segment on an alternative form of antibacterial treatment called phage therapy. Phage therapy, instead of using chemical substances to combat bacteria, uses viruses, specifically bacteriophages--viruses that only infect bacteria. This sort of therapy was predicted shortly after the discovery of bacteriophages in 1917. Once antibiotics were discovered (in 1941) phage therapy wasn't pursued further in the west, but continued to be studied in Russia.

The advantage of phage therapy is that the anti-bacterial agent is also a living organism, so as bacteria evolve to become immune to it, the phage species also evolves to continue to prey on the bacteria. Antibiotics, being chemical compounds, do not evolve, hence eventually bacterial evolution will defeat an antibiotic unless you can rapidly deplete the bacterial population to the point where your own immune system can fight off the infection successfully. As bacteria with antibiotic resistance can be found in the environment, and people have been infected with resistant strains, there is apparently renewed interest in phage therapy.

No human phage treatments are presently approved in the USA, though the use of phages to prevent bacteria from growing in food have been approved here. Phage therapy on humans is used in some states of the former USSR, especially Georgia. In the NPR podcast linked above the scientists interviewed spoke of a patient with a resistant bone infection that was successfully treated using bacteriophages after being told here in the USA that amputation was his only recourse. Interesting!

Hope Never Dies

Abacquer — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:12:08 -0400

Well it's been a little over a year since my Dad passed away, and it's been a sad time. Work has not been going very well, and it's hard sometimes to stay motivated. But good things happen too, which cheer me up some.

Dad loved Spring, especially when the birds returned.

Today as I was driving to work feeling a little blue I spotted some red-winged blackbirds in a small marsh still specked with ice.

Spring returns. Hope never dies.

Neutralizing Free Radicals

Abacquer — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:57:32 -0500

That's what I'm doing. No I have no idea what that means either. As I slide downslope having gotten over the peak of this gout attack (it was not pretty) I have been drinking 100% blueberry juice. Blueberries and blueberry juice is apparently nature's #1 antioxidant. I know this because it says on the bottle. The back of the bottle helpfully explains that antioxidants are good for me because they neutralize free radicals. Ooookay.

Wikipedia to the rescue...

...a "free radical" is any molecule that has a single unpaired electron in an outer shell.

I guess free radicals readily combine with other compounds in your body and thereby oxidize them. Apparently this can have some damaging effects, but an antioxidant combines with the free radicals so they can't oxidize other compounds in your body. Okay. If you say so. I'm just drinking it because it is recommended for gout sufferers.

I have to tell you it's pretty acidic and has a sharp taste. I don't think I could drink a lot of this stuff. It's also a little thicker than other fruit juices... has a little more body to it. Not like syrup but noticeably heavier. Can't say I like it very much but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Return of the Gout!!

Abacquer — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 09:14:14 -0500

Crap! My daughter was sick all last week, but thankfully she is feeling better now. Unfortunately now it is my turn with her cold... which is bad enough in and of itself. Except that I was stuck at home all weekend and there was a shortage of beverages in the house. And generally when I have a choice of water or nothing, I choose nothing unless I am direly thirsty. (I'm sure this will provoke a "typical man" comment from somebody.)

Anyway most of the food I ate was salty. On Sunday I snacked on Ritz crackers with easy cheese spread, quite a few crackers actually. Okay a LOT of crackers. As you know those are quite salty as is the cheese spread. I barely drank anything except one cup of tea. It should have occurred to me that this would dehydrate me, but it didn't.

That is until late last nite when I woke up with a sharp pain in the knuckle where my big toe ends and my right foot begins. Then it occurred to me that what I ate just before bed was a big bowl of salty lipton cup-a-soup. Greeaat. So I staggered downstairs and got a glass of filtered water and then hobbled back to bed. It's probably too late now. Once the gout starts it really needs to run its course. I had managed to eat well enough to avoid it for a few years, but here it is again.

Ouch.

Lens Cults and The Isoceles Field

Abacquer — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:14:59 -0500

So early this morning I couldn't sleep and I ended up writing an article on flickr in one of the many "what lens should I buy" discussions that goes on there. I have noticed, in my days on flickr, that certain pieces of equipment and certain techniques have a following, and often get recommended simply because of the following rather than because the equipment/technique is actually suited to the purpose of the person asking. In an effort to supply a counterbalancing opinion, I found myself in need of trigonometry.

The Argument

One such "cult" item is the "nifty fifty" (the EF 50mm f/1.8) lens made for Canon EOS cameras. It is very sharp, very fast, and very cheap ($80). If you are on a tight budget (or even if you aren't) it makes sense to have one for your EOS camera unless you have a better 50mm prime, or don't need a 50mm prime.

While I will not argue that it is probably one of the best value-for-money lenses, it is not versatile at all, and yet it seems to get hailed as a magic-bullet lens. I regularly see people making claims like "it never comes off my camera". And after having used it myself, I can only conclude that these people shoot one type of thing and one type of thing only, or it never comes off because they don't own any other lenses.

There is a certain love affair with the 50mm focal length because it was the standard focal length for 35mm film for decades. But in the age of digital SLR cameras, things are different for the less expensive consumer DSLRs. These DSLR's tend to use an image sensor that is smaller than 35mm film. The APS-C style sensor, or crop sensor, does not render the entire image cast by a standard lens, but only a smaller piece in the center. This results in an apparent magnification factor of 1.6. Hence if you put a 50mm lens on a crop-sensor camera, it's like working with an 80mm lens (50 x 1.6 = 80). The end result is a smaller-than-expected "field of view" (FOV).

On an old Canon 35mm film camera, a 50mm lens has a FOV of 46°. But on a crop-sensor camera the FOV is a hair under 29°. This loss of over a third of the FOV means that on crop-sensor cameras the EF 50mm f/1.8 lens has distinct limitations as to how much you can fit in the frame.

Fortunately, on my EOS 5D the 50mm behaves as expected. Because the 5D is a full frame camera, its sensor is the same size as a 35mm film frame. So I get 46° out of my EF 50mm, just as nature intended.

The "nifty fifty" on crop-sensor cameras is often described as a "portrait lens". With the crop factor, the 50mm lens behaves like an 80mm lens, and 80mm is ideal for portraits. But if you want to shoot anything larger than a head-and-shoulders portrait with the EF 50 1.8 on your Rebel XT or 30D, you'd better have a lot of room behind you, because you are going to need to back up... a lot.

But how much?

The Trigonometry

Well that's where the trig comes in (you can skip this section if you don't want to see how I figured it out). In order for me to say how much, I needed to be able to reliably compute the distance necessary to view an object of a given width. But how? I started by drawing a diagram like this one:

V is my viewing angle. Okay it's not 29° (or 28.98333° which is the actual FOV of the nifty fifty on a crop sensor), but close enough. The legs of the triangle extending out from V represent the edges of my FOV as the distance to the subject (marked by the dashed line, d) grows. The base of the triangle (marked as w) is the width of the field of view at the distance d. Basically this is a representation of the wedge or cone of that falls within a particular FOV, in this case 30°.

I can pick any distance I want for d, but what I really need is a way to say what d should be to accomodate a subject of a certain width. In other words, to fit a subject 10 feet wide in my viewfinder, how far back do I need to stand with the nifty fifty on my EOS 30D camera? I supposed that given a formula for that, I could solve the formula for the width so that one could also compute the maximum width viewable given a distance.

The triangle depicted above is an isoceles triangle, as both the legs are the same length, and consequently the angles where the legs meet the base is also to the same. I spent some time looking online for computations for isoceles triangles, but what I was looking for didn't appear (namely, given the length of the base, and the angle of the peak, what is the height or altitude of an isoceles triangle?)

I studied trig over 20 years ago so I remember very little of it, but I did remember there were a lot of simple equivalences for right triangles (that is, triangles where one of the angles is 90°). And I realized while looking at my diagram that the line I had drawn to represent the distance, bisected V and split the triangle into 2 right triangles, each of which looked like this:

Bisecting V gives me a 15° angle (V'), and a base width exactly half of what it was before (w'). So if I could take a given distance d and come up with a formula for w', then I should be able to solve that formula for either d or w', keeping in mind that V' is V/2 and w' is w/2.

Doing a quick check online I found the two rudimentary trignometric equivalences for right triangles: for either of the angles other than the 90° one, the sin of that angle is equal to the length of the opposite side divided by the length of the hypoteneuse, and the cos of that angle is equal to the length of the adjacent side divided by the length of the hypoteneuse. Here are those equivalences for the right triangle above:

Sin V' and cos V' I can get with a pocket calculator, and I'm going to pick a value for either d or w' and solve for the other. I can solve the equation on the left for w' [w' = (sin V') * h] and I can solve the equation on the right for d [d = (cos V') * h], but both of these solutions require me to know what the hypoteneuse of this triangle is.

But in order to get w' from d or d from w' I need to do more work, mostly because I am not going to know what the hypoteneuse is. I'm only going to be starting with either V' and w' or V' and d. So what I need to do is solve one of the equations for h, and then plug that into the other equation. That should give me a formula I that I can use to solve for either d in terms of w' and V' or w' in terms of d and V'. So I picked the equation on the right. Solving that for h gives h = d / (cos V').

So I should be able to substitute d / (cos V') in the equation on the left, like so:

Now I'm good. I know what V' is, I can get sin V' or cos V' from my calculator, and I am going to pick either d or w'. So now I can solve for either one, like so:

Done, right? Well, yes, if I want to know what the appropriate distance is for half the width of my subject using a lens with half the field of view. Now I want to substitute in the equivalences that w' = w/2 and V' = V/2. In the equation on the right that will put w/2 on the left of the equal sign, so I will multiply both sides by 2 to solve the equation for w. That gives me:

Okay they probably aren't the cleanest formulas in the world, but they work and let you get the height of an isoceles triangle from its base width and peak angle, or vice versa. Using these formulas I could handily compute the needed distance for a given width in a given field of view, and this allowed me to present something more concrete than "gee whiz, that EF 50mm 1.8 is awfully confining on a crop sensor camera."

Back to the Argument

So how confining is that nifty fifty?

5 feet wide = 9.7 feet away
10 feet wide = 19.3 feet away
15 feet wide = 29 feet away
20 feet wide = 38.7 feet away
25 feet wide = 48.4 feet away

Pretty confining! If you are trying to capture 3 people sitting on a couch which is 8 feet long all in one shot, you need to stand 15 feet 6 inches away. Better have a big living room, or one where there isn't a TV 10 feet from the couch. Or maybe if you moved the couch outside... that would be cool for an album cover, but for Aunt Bea, Uncle Joe, and Granny, it is probably less so.

Working with the EF 50mm f/1.8 is a good exercise though for learning how to push a lens to do what you need, and it's plain old good exercise, because you're going to be backing up a lot. You can get that 8 foot couch in shot if you shoot from an angle, but then you will need to stop your aperture down to widen up the depth of field so that everyone will be in focus... which means you can't shoot low light anymore so you might need lamps or a flash. Or you could give up on that shot and shoot the people individually.

Or, you could simply not get the EF 50mm 1.8 in the first place, if you are not planning to shoot primarily portraits. If you want to consider the traditional FOV that the great 35mm film artists shot with, you need a lens that gives a FOV on a crop-sensor camera similar to a 50mm lens on a 35mm film camera (i.e. 46°). The closest bet would be a 28mm lens, like the EF 28mm f/1.8 or EF 28mm f/2.8. These have a crop-sensor FOV of 47.25°. With one of these lenses the width to distance figures look like this:

5 feet wide = 5.7 feet away
10 feet wide = 11.4 feet away
15 feet wide = 17.1 feet away
20 feet wide = 22.8 feet away
25 feet wide = 28.6 feet away

Much more reasonable. And quite interesting how the distance to subject is almost the same as the width of the subject. No surpise that the 50mm lens became the standard on the cameras of old.

Here We Go Again...

Abacquer — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:51:46 -0400

Definition of "undercutting":

Me:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120163294055
Starting time: Sep-27-07 19:45:00 PDT (scheduled, so as to begin after other auctions ended)
Starting bid: US $49.99
Duration: 7-day listing

The other guy:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170153862318
Starting time: Sep-27-07 20:27:48 PDT
Starting bid: US $0.89
Duration: 7-day listing

From Bulk Comes Bilk and EBay Wants Your Money

Abacquer — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 19:21:12 -0400

I've been so busy with work and trying to sell cards that I haven't had time to do much photography. I did get some great pix in Hyannis a couple weeks ago and some more good stuff at a reception for a christening I went to last weekend, but I haven't had time to photoshop the photos, clean them up, organize them, and so forth. It's just been either work or eBay the last couple weeks. Here's one picture I took (at the office, of couse). Somebody in my building went out and got one of those "Dream Cruisers". Isn't it gorgeous? Wow.

On the eBay front I continue to sell and sell. Part of my unlimited set is gone now, and I've gotten the right price for it, and I continue to identify rarities or obscurities in my collection and put them up for sale. I am happy to report that I am at 90% of stage one and expect to make it there by the end of the week. Cool beans!

But I have learned one important lesson about selling. Selling in bulk may allow you to ship more product, but it definitely costs you money. I sold a set of 8 revised dual lands back on the tenth of September for $122.50. In preparation for the end of that auction I got another 7 dual lands together and was prepared to sell them as a batch. But I decided not to. As an experiment I decided to sell the 7 duals as individual auctions (here they are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7). They went for a total of $139.60.

Sold as a batch, they went for $15.31 apiece. Sold individually? $19.94. That's 30% difference!!! Viewed from that perspective it makes sense to sell individually unless you have a very small market (say you are selling on a table on your front lawn... maybe a couple dozen people swing by and look at the items, chances of selling them all individually are remote.) But on eBay the market is huge, millions of potential buyers, so go for it right?

Well there *are* the eBay fees to consider. eBay will charge you for absolutely anything you can think of and plenty of things that wouldn't even occur to you. Back in the early days of eBay there was a listing fee and a sale fee. The listing fee used to be 30 cents. That was it. Then if the item sold there was a sale fee which was this sliding scale thing that was very complicated but generally worked out to about 4% to 5% of your sale. Nowadays everything costs money. No longer is the listing fee flat, but it is based on the minimum bid of your auction. If your minimum bid is a dollar, the listing fee is 20 cents. If your minimum bid is $49.99 your listing fee is $1.20, and if your minimum bid is $59.99 the fee is $2.40. As you can see the fee is determined inside some sort of bracketed structure. Want to add a reserve price? You'll be charged 1% of your reserve price. Want to add a buy-it-now price? There's a fee for that. Want to schedule your auction to start later in the day or later in the week? There's a fee for that. And so on and so on and so on. Sale fees aside, eBay takes a hefty chunk out of you up front just for listing the item. To the point where it makes no sense at all to sell anything for under say, 5 dollars. Ebay will simply eat so much of it that it becomes pointless to sell it.

And of course once your item sells, eBay charges you for a percentage of the sale price, this you would pay no matter how many items you are selling, but the listing fees are paid for each item. My listing fees for the first dual land auction was 30 cents (I had no minimum bid, no buy it now). The 7 individual auctions cost 40 cents apiece to list (probably because I set a minimum bid of $9.99, otherwise it would have been 30 cents). But that is $2.80 to list 7 individual items instead of 30 cents to list one.

Then come the PayPal fees, which generally work out to about 3.5% of the sale price but which have overhead costs causing them to be at least 30 cents as a minimum. I read an amusing story about a guy who overcharged his customer about 90 cents for shipping, and offered the customer a refund via PayPal. So the customer got sixty cents. Ouch. For items worth about $20 each, the overhead is not really all that relevant, but it would be for inexpensive items. The PayPal fees would be easier to stomach if PayPal wasn't owned by eBay. Yes, that's right, you pay eBay to list your item, you pay eBay to sell your item, and you pay eBay to collect the payment for the sale of your item. Yeesh. And, to make it even more annoying, PayPal fees are instantaneously applied to any cash transferred, but eBay fees are simply billed to you at the end of the month. That way, PayPal can charge you a percentage off of the $100 you were paid, instead of the $100 you were paid minus the eBay listing and sale fees. I hasten to point out again that PayPal *is* eBay. Double dipping anyone?

After correcting for eBay listing fees, eBay sale fees, and eBay PayPal fees, the group lot went for $14.20 per card, and the individual lot for $17.80. That's still a 25% improvement in price, even after being ~~robbed~~ charged for eBay's fine services. Altogether the 8 auctions sold for $262.10, which isn't bad, even if eBay took $23.92 in total fees. My state government charges 5% in sales tax. eBay? 9.13%. Yikes!!!

So from now on I'm going to sell individually and try not to think about the fact that I might as well just set every tenth item on fire since I'm not going to end up with any money for it.

eBayers Drive Me Crazy!!

Abacquer — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:32:46 -0400

Looking down the notes/status on my selling/sold auctions, they read like something out of "How to be Obnoxious -- A Practitioner's Guide". Let's run through them, shall we?

Item 1 is a very rare set which did not sell because some rather clueless sellers all decided to run auctions for the same item at the same time as mine, and undercut me. As a result they all hurt each other and nobody made what the set was worth. One guy had an extremely low minimum bid and got no bids. After his auction ended, there was only one auction left to bid on, it shot way up over the first guy's minimum despite having poorer quality cards. Thinking about that makes my brain shrivel. Now I have to wait around for all of these shmoes to finish relisting and selling their sets so I can get a fair price for mine. And they appear to be waiting for me. Greaaaaaaat.

Item 2 is my most valuable set, wouldn't sell for 80% of the retail price. I received the most ridiculous offers, promises from people who then disappeared, and got strung along by people who eventually just backed out as if surprised when I repeated stuff to them which was clearly stated in the auction description. Meanwhile the auction has had hundreds of views and dozens of people watching it. I've now relisted (cha-ching! extra ebay fees!) lowered the price to 70% and it still isn't selling. Jesus. I'm going to have to split it up and sell it in pieces (cha-ching! more fees!)... and I'll end up making way more than the current asking price. Had one buyer offer the full price if I would ship to Spain (auction says shipping to USA only.) He assured me up and down that it was perfectly safe and he does it all the time. Then I told him that he would have to assume the shipping risk (i.e. item goes missing, he has to wait for the UPS refund, up to 6 months). And suddenly it's no longer something he feels comfortable doing. (Guess he doesn't have as much faith in the Spanish courier services after all.) Currently I have one offer from a guy who "is trying to get the money together". We'll see... past history is not a good indicator.

Item 3, a set so rare that only a handful exist in the world. I set a reserve and have people who expect me to sell it to them for one tenth of the reserve. One bidder offered to buy it for the reserve price, but insists I cancel the auction and relist it with a buy it now option first!! (For those wondering, it cost about $9 to list it the first time, and would cost another $9 to list it again.) Guy refuses to just bid the goddamned reserve amount. I refused to end the auction for him.

Item 4, fixed price/best offer auction. I accepted an offer of $150, only to discover that the buyer was from Japan (you don't get buyer's location until you accept their offer.) Auction description says shipping to USA only. Genius. I recalculating the shipping charges, and they tripled. Sent buyer an invoice and pointed out that he should have contacted me first before he bid because that's exactly what the auction description says. I hope he doesn't back out, but I suspect he will (and I lose $5 in listing fees... cha-ching!)

Item 5, sold Aug-31. No contact from buyer. Invoice sent 9/1. Reminder sent 9/4. Still no contact. Standard eBay grace period is 3 days from end of auction. Going to have to send buyer a warning tomorrow and if he doesn't pay within a day after that it will be negative feedback and relist the item (cha-ching! more listing fees...)

Item 6, shipping to USA only. Bidder from Germany pleaded with me to ship to him, and eventually I agreed and let him bid. Then after winning the item he argued with me about the shipping costs and insisted I ship USPS instead of UPS.

Item 7, buyer asked repeatedly about card condition despite pictures of the cards being in auction description, and then took his sweet time getting his payment together after he won (took 5 days to make an instant electronic payment.) At least he apologized for taking so long. He'd be the first.

What next???

I See How It Is...

Abacquer — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:35:11 -0400

As you know I am selling some of my MTG collection (the oldest and the bestest stuff) to finance photographic gear. I spent awhile researching prices so my stuff could be competitively priced--which was a little challenging because for some of the hotter stuff (the Unlimited and Arabian Nights sets) there hasn't been an auction on ebay for months on these items. I finally figured out why. Potential sellers are waiting for a price to beat. After months with very little in the way of complete sets of Unlimited/Arabians, within a day of me listing my sets for auction, a bunch of other sellers crawled out of the woodwork and listed their sets for auction, all undercutting me by small amounts (typically about $50), or by setting high reserves and no minimum bid. Since all these auctions are now running simultaneously, there is suddenly a lot of options for the prospective buyer, and since mine is ending before the others, the lower-priced auctions are going to see all the action.

So at this point I don't expect the Arabians or Unlimited sets to sell, and now I'm going to have to sit around like the other campers and wait for some other seller to come along so I can undercut him or her.

Pain in the ass. The amusing thing is, sets this rare sell so infrequently that if a seller waited until my auction was over, he'd end up doing better than he would if they all try to sell at the same time and undercut each other. Oh well... I guess the buyers win!

Oral Update

Abacquer — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 02:00:18 -0400

Well I was back at the Longview Corporate Center yesterday for a followup visit. They wanted to check me out after last week's oral surgery. The doctor confirmed that it was normal for me to still have swelling and soreness a week later. He said it would take awhile to recover.

But on the upside, he said that it looked like I was healing up nicely. I thought he was going to remove the stitches today, but he said that they were dissolving stitches and we would just let them fall out on their own. For the past week I've had to keep the dentures in all the time (even when sleeping), the doctor said it was necessary to stretch out the tissue. But now he has reversed those instructions and told me to take them out as often as possible. Confusing business this.

Personally? I'd really like to get through this so I can have my permanent set of dentures made. I was hoping to get that done before my birthday in October. Oh well, at least it doesn't hurt as bad as it did last week, and I'm starting to chew a little bit again. Hopefully in another week or two I'll be back to full strength.