Unbecoming Levity

Why Microsoft Outlook Continues to Suck

Abacquer — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:49:57 -0400

It's very simple Microsoft. If I go into my settings and specify that mail account X is the default account for outgoing mail messages, then that means that mail account X is the default account for outgoing mail messages.

I know that's a complex concept, but you've been getting it consistently wrong since 2003 at least and I'm getting a little tired of customers receiving business e-mails from my personal account because Outlook doesn't understand that "this is where I want my mail sent from" means "this is where I want my mail sent from"... forcing me to remember to check the outgoing mail address EVERY TIME I SEND A MESSAGE to make sure Outlook has done what it was supposed to do.

As an added bit of joy, if I change from an account that uses no signature to one that does use a signature, Outlook helpfully replaces the content of my e-mail message with the signature. Difficult concept number two: signatures go at the ends of messages, they don't replace them. (And BTW, this wouldn't happen as often if Outlook wasn't continually choosing to ignore my default account for sending.)

For years people have been getting around this problem by installing both Outlook and Outlook Express... two e-mail readers because ONE reader can't seem to manage the dizzyingly complex notion of sending mail from the default account. Instead they run two readers and split the accounts between the readers. This is a dismal state of affairs for an e-mail reader that is over 10 years old. Get it right, get it over with. And provide a PATCH for people who are using Outlook 2007 and Outlook 2003--because this should have worked right from day one.

Distributed Computing = Distributed Responsibility = Fingerpointing

Abacquer — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:27:16 -0400

So this morning I tried to process an order a customer had sent me last night. I went to log into my photolab service provider, exposuremanager.com, just like I always do. Bzzzt. Can't get in. "This link appears to be broken."

Huh, maybe it's my machine. So I try my daughter's machine, nope she can't see it either. Internet down? Nope I can get my email and see all the other sites I use regularly.

So I (reasonably) assume exposuremanager is down. That's not too cool--because while it is down my customers can't place orders. So I call customer support and leave them a message that their site is down.

A little while later I get an e-mail from them stating their site is up and running fine (and by the way, nice pictures on your site!) Thanks, but I still can't get in.

So I try the DOS utility "ping" to ping their server. Sometimes it can't resolve exposuremanager to an IP address (implying a problem with a domain name server at Comcast) and other times it can resolve the IP address but gets no response. I check with WHOIS on Tucows (their registrar) to see if their domain has expired, but it hasn't. WTF?

So then I run a traceroute in an attempt to see where the communication fails between me and exposuremanager:

Tracing route to exposuremanager.com [66.254.91.235]

over a maximum of 30 hops:

1 <1 ms <1 ms <1 ms www.routerlogin.com [192.168.1.1]

2 7 ms 10 ms 7 ms [ my IP omitted ]

3 8 ms 8 ms 6 ms ge-1-2-ur01.gardner.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.187.109]

4 11 ms 10 ms 9 ms te-0-8-0-2-ar01.woburn.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.162.93]

5 14 ms 9 ms 9 ms pos-0-15-0-0-ar01.needham.ma.boston.comcast.net [68.85.162.145]

6 15 ms 14 ms 22 ms pos-0-0-0-0-ar01.chartford.ct.hartford.comcast.net [68.85.162.70]

7 16 ms 18 ms 17 ms pos-2-4-0-0-cr01.newyork.ny.ibone.comcast.net [68.86.90.61]

8 22 ms 18 ms 17 ms Vlan546.icore1.NJY-Newark.as6453.net [206.82.132.41]

9 17 ms 45 ms 18 ms if-6-0-0-25.mcore3.NJY-Newark.as6453.net [216.6.57.41]

10 19 ms 17 ms 18 ms if-2-0.core1.NTO-NewYork.as6453.net [216.6.57.66]

11 17 ms 18 ms 19 ms sl-gw31-nyc-14-0-0.sprintlink.net [160.81.249.29]

12 18 ms 19 ms 17 ms sl-crs2-nyc-0-2-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.13.35]

13 23 ms 27 ms 19 ms sl-bb20-msq-2-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.20.74]

14 22 ms 22 ms 24 ms sl-bb21-msq-15-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.9.110]

15 26 ms 26 ms 27 ms sl-crs1-rly-0-8-5-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.20.73]

16 25 ms 25 ms 26 ms sl-bb20-dc-5-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.8.162]

17 24 ms 28 ms 25 ms sl-crs1-dc-0-0-0-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.15.11]

18 74 ms 73 ms 74 ms sl-crs2-fw-0-11-3-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.19.200]

19 * * * Request timed out.

20 * * * Request timed out.

21 * * * Request timed out.

22 * * * Request timed out.

23 * * * Request timed out.

24 * * * Request timed out.

25 * * * Request timed out.

26 * * * Request timed out.

27 * * * Request timed out.

28 * * * Request timed out.

29 * * * Request timed out.

30 * * * Request timed out.

Trace complete.

As you can see, the communication makes it to "sl-crs2-fw-0-11-3-0.sprintlink.net [144.232.19.200]" and then fails. Sprintlink.net is inside of the Sprint network. To get as far as I did required the services of three companies, Comcast (comcast.net), Tata Communications (as6453.net), and Sprint (sprintlink.net). None of these companies is my company (sagewoodstudios.com) or my photolab service provider (exposuremanager.com). In fact after the last hop, I don't know what the next address would be--it might be a fourth company, or another server in the Sprint network. Exposure Manager can't help me--it's not their computer. Comcast can't help me--it's not their computer either. Sprint *might* be able to help me, but I'm not their customer.

What I do know is, if I didn't have to use this route, I would indeed be able to get there. I found an online provider of the standard 'net tools (ping, traceroute, etc.) called Network-Tools.com (that's a handy link btw, you might want to bookmark it). I can get to their server to see their website, and when I ask THEM to do a traceroute to exposuremanager, they can get there just fine:

TraceRoute to 66.254.91.235 [exposuremanager.com]

Hop

(ms)

(ms)

(ms)

IP Address

Host name

1

8

6

6

206.123.69.137

-

2

9

6

6

8.9.232.73

xe-5-3-0.edge3.dallas1.level3.net

3

12

7

7

4.69.145.140

ae-3-80.edge2.dallas3.level3.net

4

8

15

6

4.71.220.14

xo-communic.edge2.dallas3.level3.net

5

10

12

9

207.88.13.122

207.88.13.122.ptr.us.xo.net

6

41

40

40

207.88.12.46

207.88.12.46.ptr.us.xo.net

7

41

40

40

65.106.1.69

65.106.1.69.ptr.us.xo.net

8

41

49

52

65.106.5.10

p0-0-0.mar2.la-ca.us.xo.net

9

46

40

40

207.88.81.170

p15-0.chr1.la-ca.us.xo.net

10

50

44

45

66.238.50.106

66.238.50.106.ptr.us.xo.net

11

53

45

47

66.254.64.1

gw1.pixelgate.net

12

53

50

47

66.254.91.235

host235.exposuremanager.com

Trace complete

As you can see, because they are starting from a different provider (level3.net) their communication path takes a different route that never involves any of the companies I'm forced to use. If Network-Tools.com provided a "browser in a browser" basically an embedded frame that I could point anywhere I want to, I'd be able to get to my photolab and process my customer's orders.

In the meantime I'm pretty stuck. I can't help my customers, and my service provider can't help me. Welcome to the Internet... where you really "can't get thar from hyar".

Oh Yeah. I Have a Blog.

Abacquer — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:58:54 -0400

What I don't have is interest. There's a lot going on in my life, and I'd rather get on with it than write about it. Besides I doubt anybody really wants to read about it. So I've been neither writing in my blog, nor really reading the blogs of others. I check in on Aces Full and Pandora's Tea Room every now and again, but that is pretty much it. I post on MOTL every now and again, but not too frequently now that the werewolf games were cancelled due to people taking them too seriously.

What's been occupying my time is my photography business. It seems to be picking up, which is great, because I simply love this work. I did a school dance in February, and a photoshoot for an aspiring actor. In May I did a costume shoot for a dance school which is the first shoot I've done where I can unequivocably say that I made pretty good money.

June's been hopping. I did a graduation shoot for a relative (no money, but I did some networking at the school while I was there that might turn into business), and a graduation party for the same relative. This past Thursday night I shot the dress rehearsal for a stage production of a dance interpretation of Peter Pan. Friday night I shot the eighth grade dance of a middle school in southeastern Massachusetts. Then Saturday I shot the 1PM and 7PM performances of Peter Pan (42 Gb of pix in one day... yowza!)

I wrote about this a little bit on a message forum, so I figured I'd share that here.

June 12, 2009 11:01 AM

Last night's shoot went well but I am exhausted. I took a chance and produced a 36" x 24" (poster size) print of the main cast (with some added text) and it came out GREAT. I was amazed. I expected at that size the image would be very fuzzy--you know "stand a few feet away and it will look fine". Nope, it was nice and sharp. About 90 minutes of post production and cost about $50 to print, and I gave it to the dance school director as a gift.

She went positively gaga over it and hung it immediately as a poster for her show. The kids loved it too.

Of course I had a couple totally unrealistic parents come up to me after the show asking if I "had any extras" or would "give them one". "These are quite expensive to print. Of course I can have one made and shipped to you but it would cost $100." "Oh forget it then." LOL. It's so hard to make money in this business unless you are doing weddings or products. For the costume shoot I spent 8 hours shooting, and 50 hours in post production. My total profit after printing and shipping was $800--that's $13.75 per hour and no matter what price you charge people think it's too much.

Anyway the dress rehearsal shoot went great, apart from the 580 EX burning though batteries like there's no tomorrow. 4.5 hours of shooting, 1,105 pictures, 30 batteries eaten. I picked up a digital frame and loaded it with a bunch of work I've done over the last couple years and set that up next to the fliers--that got some attention. I had a number of people come up to me after the show and tell me how much they loved my work, which is always nice. We'll see if they still love me when I raise my prices next year.

So tonight I have a middle school dance to shoot, and then tomorrow I have to shoot the performances that I went to the dress rehearsal for. Busy few days!

June 13, 2009 1:55 AM

Tonight's Middle School Dance shoot was exhausting but fun. These kids were different that the kids at my daughter's middle school--they were a lot stiffer... nobody danced for like the first 90 minutes. I was like WTF? Heck I wanted to put the camera down and dance myself. The DJ was great, all the tunes were current.

This was an 8th grade dance and soon the kids will all be going off to different highschools so there was a lot of emotionality... a lot of kids were crying toward the end... that doesn't exactly make for a nice photo.

Kids at my daughter's art school are also more hammy for the camera, these kids pretty much constantly ducked and hid whenever the camera showed up. This behavior drives me nuts, I'm being paid to shoot the dance, these kids are bawling that they're not going to see their friends again, and they're not going to have pictures of their friends to remember because they're too busy responding to the camera in the way they've been trained to respond "ooh don't take my picture I look ugly". You just want to say "Jesus, grow up already." Sometimes I say to them "this may come as a surprise, but we can all see you... we already know what you look like." No matter, I just switched to the 200mm and shot long... you get nice closeups that way and the kids don't know who is being photographed.

All in all I think it went well. Two big shoots tomorrow... man am I beat.

June 13, 2009 9:44 AM

Fell out of bed about 8:20... showered, shaved, and will be heading out for the third and biggest of this weeks three shoots. What an exhausting time this has been! No flash today ('cept before and after) so I shouldn't need a frickin' gross of AA batts...

June 14, 2009 7:37 PM

Yesterday's shoots were positively EXHAUSTING! But I think it went well. At the end of the afternoon performance I knew I was in trouble tho... I had shot 20+ Gb of pictures, and I only had 22 Gb in CF cards with me. I had time before the 7PM performance so I went to best buy and purchased another 20 Gb of CF memory (1x 8 GB, 3x 4 Gb). During the second performance I shot the entire remaining 22 Gb. For the after photos I had to switch from RAW to JPG, and pull out my old "emergency card"--a 512 mB card that I've often questioned why I still carry it. Thank heavens I had it!

But 42 jigglebytes in a single day is some outrageous shooting. About 3,500 pictures. Sorting through this is going to be fun. Lightroom is chewing on them now and probably will be until tomorrow.

Emma was able to perform as Peter Pan, which was nice, though she had to hold back and give a slightly more subdued performance to prevent further injury to her ankle. It was nice seeing her dance at all though.

The "movie poster" was a big hit. About 700 people filed past it and every time I went out into the hall to shoot candids there were people looking at it and my digital frame (yay!). The thing I liked best was when I caught the dancers looking at it, they really liked it and it made for some nice photos. Have I mentioned how much I love this work?

I got more compliments and requests on Saturday, some people looking to buy the poster print. I added it to the show gallery and enabled large format printing options (and T-shirts, which my lab has begun to offer).

So now begins the long slog of post processing. But with so many pictures to choose from I should be able to come up with some that are sure to please. And the post work should be hella easier than the costume shoot was.

Gonna be a lot of busy nights tho... but not today, today I am recuperating... 12 hours of driving over the last 3 days, getting home every night after 1 AM, sore as heck from shooting...

(Good news, I had two orders today from earlier galleries. Yay! Only $70 but I'm taking it as a good sign.)

Wow am I beat. But it's a good kind of beat, when you feel like you accomplished something.

On a quick run through the performance photos I found a nice little series. Peter Pan was not on a wire, so she got about by making beautiful acrobatic leaps. I managed to snap a series of leaps (on the tail end of the leap as she was coming down) as she leapt around the dancer playing the part of Wendy Darling. In the series it looks like Peter is flying... Sweet!

Feels Like the Sun Going Down on Me...

Abacquer — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 01:00:50 -0400

This is Sunflower, or as we typically call her "Sunny". As you know back in November of 2005 we lost our dear Maya. A few weeks later we just couldn't bear not having cats in our house and went to a local pet shelter to adopt three kittens. There were a number of things we didn't like about the way the shelter was run, but in the end we had three wonderful cats that we loved--affectionate, playful, and apparently healthy.

It turns out that the shelter let us down in that department too. It turns out that Sunflower, the littlest kitty, the one bearing the name I gave her the day she came home, is infected with Feline Leukemia Virus (FeLV), and it has entered an advanced stage even though she is only 3 years old. Our cats have never had contact with any strange cats since the shelter, and live entirely indoors--our veterinarian has informed us that Sunny almost certainly came from the shelter with the infection. They went on to say that they have seen over the last couple years increasing numbers of sick cats from that particular shelter and no longer recommend it to people looking to adopt cats.

The shelter was supposed to have tested all of its cats for FeLV, and the tests are very reliable and hard to screw up. But clearly they were remiss with regard to testing Sunny. And now Sunny has been living (infected) in close quarters with our other cats for three years. We've had the other cats tested and miraculously they are negative, so we immediately had them innoculated for the virus.

But poor Sunny is dying. She will not eat, barely drinks at all, and hardly moves. When she does move she staggers badly. She still purrs when I pet her but she is clearly not going to last much longer. I wouldn't be surprised if she dies tonite. Given she is suffering a condition which is essentially incurable, I'll be taking her to the vet tomorrow to release her, barely 3 years old, from her suffering. It's breaking my heart.

Our three kitties have bonded with each other over the years, and are always together, it's going to be very different with Sunny gone. We really fell in love with our trio of cats, and it became quite a ritual to say "kittycats, kittycats, 1, 2, 3" whenever we saw them. Or if we only saw a pair we would say "kittycats, kittycats, 1, 2, where's number 3?" Now there will be no number 3.

My daughter took it very hard when Maya had to be put down. When the kittens came home, she immediately took to Sunny, as Sunny was the littlest kitty. And strangely, Sunny took to Neya, perhaps because Neya was the littlest person. So while the other cats would sleep with Pat and I or follow us around, Sunny would always be found not far from our daughter, sleeping in her bed with her or nearby. If I had to pick the worst cat to lose, Sunny would be the biggest loss.

It's just not fair.

UPDATE 4:08 PM: It's over. Our little Sunny is gone. I stayed with her until the end.

Pies Pies Pies Yeah

Abacquer — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:30:51 -0400

So I celebrated Pi Day with some friends yesterday and had a nice time. The pies and treats were delicious. Sadly I didn't bring a cherry pie for Julie, I will have to remember to do that next year. The blueberry pie was great, the chicken pot pie was delicious, and though the glutin-free lemon meringue was very runny, it still tasted fine.

We played games (I had a nice long game of Carcassonne, and other people played Bohnanza), made up silly jokes and songs, and just had a very nice afternoon. I got to meet some new friends, and spend a little time with some old ones. And I ate WAY too much pie.

This morning my idle mind wrote a little song parody based on the day which I decided to share here:

You made me blueberry,
Apple and pecan;
Wet meringue with lemon goo
And pot pie tastes so grand.

(The bigger, the better)
Our tummies fully crammed...
Collected from around the world
we'll eat them if we can!

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

The pound cake was delicious,
And whoopie pies were fine.
But poor Julie got no cherry,
What a waste of time.

Big ones and small ones,
Look lovely to our eyes,
Tantalizing on the plate,
Not so much on our thighs...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Go back to your larder,
Fetch me another plate,
My pancreas is still alive,
And I'm not the sort to wait.

The bigger, the better,
And some are glutin free,
So what if you don't eat your share,
More for me and me and me and me and me and

Pies pies pies yeah! (We're gonna eat you.)
Pies pies pies yeah! (Not too discreet to.)
Pies pies pies yeah! (Fat like a B-2.)
Pies pies pies yeah!

Oh you know I know...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Oh you know I know...

Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!
Pies pies pies yeah!

Attention Executive and Legislative Branches -- I WANT SINGLE PAYER HEALTH CARE

Abacquer — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 09:08:30 -0400

In a single payer system, the cost of healthcare drops dramatically. Yes it's true taxes go up, but at this point? They're going up anyway. The economic stimulus our country needs is going to have to be paid for, and we are all going to pay for it. Combine this with the 30 years this country has frittered away when it should have been building a new energy grid, green technologies, maintaining infrastructure, and so on, and it's clear, the party is over.

And by "the party is over" I'm referring to those artificially low taxes that our conservative friends still think are too high.

I am sick and tired of listening to gloom-and-doom naysayers fiddling about long lines, delays, and taxes while Rome burns. I have friends who are suffering right now simply because they cannot get the help they need due to lack of coverage.

Single-payer health care works in many countries around the world, some better than others. I have enough faith in American ingenuity that we can make it work here. But it does mean (AFAIC) the end (or serious curtailing) of health insurance companies that have risen to wealth on their two core tenets--1. collect premiums, and 2. don't pay benefits.

For those who quake in fear at the notion? We tried it your way for decades and it sucks. I'm ready for something new.

Chapter Three: A Dying Breed

Abacquer — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:44:54 -0500

NOTE: This story is chapter 3, the sequel to the previous chapter. If you have not already read the first chapter or second chapter, you may wish to check them out first.

The visit with Ellan and Tyr had been long and leisurely, thirteen wonderful years exploring the seas of Regulus-4, a world Ellan had named Ouan. Mara and Kennis had swum as merfolk, scaled the few rocky crags of Ouan with the Hooth, slothlike ursines, and had even spent a few solitary weeks relaxing on beaches of lavender sand, their lungs altered to process the chemical soup that constituted Ouan's atmosphere.

Mara wrote many books, including a meditative collection of poems about her former lover Tyr. She had been nervous that Kennis would feel slighted, but her devotion to Mara was total. "I cannot possess you my love," Kennis had said, gazing at her in the amber moonlight of a warm night on Ouan, "and I will accept whatever part of your life you choose to share with me. It would unreasonable to assume that I should own your history. Besides, Tyr is remarkable, why not write songs for her? I thought your book was lovely."

"Oh Kennis," Mara had began, but she could not finish the sentence. Kennis truly was the love of her life, and she was ever reminded of it.

"I love you too, Mara. Who knows, perhaps you shall write a book for me some day."

"There aren't words to describe this love."

As the months passed into years, eventually Mara's thoughts returned to the notion of recreating humans on another planet--with the necessary biological alterations to survive there. She began scanning the catalogues of known worlds to find a suitable candidate. Though millions of worlds had been visited by Homo imortalis, few matched the criteria she was seeking. There were some good candidates, but they were precariously close to other worlds which had thriving ecosystems and nonsentient inhabitants, and given the human penchant for warfare and conquest, Mara had no desire to create a species that would become a scourge.

There was, she realized, a fairly awesome responsibility in creating a species. She had been contacted by a number of people who had expressed a number of opinions on her books on the subject, some positive and some negative. But she was not daunted, even when she reached the end of the catalogue with no acceptable candidates. She instructed Hab to inform her of new entries in the catalog as they arose, but so far there had been no match.

As the visit with Ellan and Tyr drew to a close she mentioned to Tyr the difficulty she was having in finding a suitable world one day when they were exploring warm coastal waters in a calm cove of one of Ouan's largest islands. "You've been through the entire catalog?" Tyr asked, her fins arranged in a peculiar manner that Mara had learned conveyed surprise.

"Yes, " Mara responded, "three million, one hundred seventy six thousand, eight hundred thirteen worlds. And counting..."

"My love, you are obsessed."

"Well you know me when I get an idea."

"Indeed I do. Well what now then?"

"I suppose I shall simply have to begin exploring worlds myself. All it will take is time."

Tyr was quiet for awhile. "There may be another option, Mara."

"What?"

"Long before I met you I briefly met an immortal named Bruk, a staggeringly old being who had taken up the task of cataloging every world in the Milky Way--with the intent of eventually leaving this galaxy to begin cataloging the worlds of other galaxies."

"Well if Bruk's work is already in the catalog--"

"It is not."

"What? Why?"

"Bruk is... eccentric and something of a hermit. In my entire life I have only known two Alphans, and Bruk is one. Suffice it to say these catalogs are kept in Bruk's private library. But I suppose you could ask..."

"An Alphan!" Mara had never met one. When nanotechnology changed a subset of Homo sapiens into Homo lentus, those modified humans had much longer lifespans. But the span of Homo lentus as a species was only five hundred years, as by that time technology had advanced to the point where Homo lentus became Homo immortalis--humans with an infinite lifespan. Those humans who were born as Homo lentus and changed to Homo immortalis were called Betans, and those rare few who were born Homo sapiens and transitioned first to Homo lentus and then to Homo immortalis were Alphans, and they were very rare indeed. The typical lentus lifespan had been 350 years, an Alphan would have been extremely old when the transition to immortality became available--at that point of course the aging could largely be reversed. But the Alphan viewpoint was often very unique as it was that of a single being that had actually been three different species--to say nothing of the extreme age of such beings. Mara had been born Homo immortalis, as had her mothers Chen and Cyrce. That put her in the majority of the species, a subset known as Gammans.

As an Alphan, Bruk would be nearly two and a half million years old, and if she had indeed been cataloging worlds for much of that time, she might indeed know of a planet upon which Mara could recreate Homo sapiens.

"How do you know this being?" Mara asked.

"Bruk is one of my ancestors, by twelve generations, we met at a family reunion. It was a bizarre experience. If you decide to make contact, I'd suggest you mention me--Bruk's got a soft spot for progeny."

That evening, back in Kennis' arms, Mara had composed a brief message to Bruk.

Greetings Bruk: I am the former partner of your granddaughter Tyr, my name is Mara. She encouraged me to speak with you. I am seeking a particular world--one with an environment very similar to that of Earth when it was inhabited by Homo sapiens, but fairly remote with respect to other worlds which are inhabited. Tyr mentioned your extensive catalog and I was hoping you might know of such a world. Please contact me if you are able to help. I've attached specific criteria ranges to this message. Thank you.

After running it past Kennis, she transmitted the message through her network receiver and was surprised to receive a response almost immediately. But it was not from the Alphan, but instead was being sent by a hab.

[You (and no guests) will be received at Bruk's hab in one week's time. Come to moon three of planet five of the red dwarf star at galactic coordinates (-28599.99876, -31200.09384, 112.54015). The visit is not to exceed 90 minutes.]

"It's pretty brusque, Mara. Why does she not ask after Tyr? Why does she not contact you herself? And she permits you no guests? Why do you have to go and see her at all? Surely she could simply transmit the data if she really wanted to help."

"Well she's an Alphan... and Tyr warned that she was eccentric and reclusive. I suppose I should be grateful that she is even willing to discuss it with me. It could save me hundreds of thousands of years of exploration."

In the end, Kennis couldn't deny that point, and so over the next week they had made their goodbyes to Ellan and Tyr, and after one last swim in the seas of Ouan, had reverted their biological adaptations, returned to their own hab, and set off to find Bruk on the other side of the galaxy.

The quantum transition from Regulus to the system that Bruk's message had indicated was instantaneous. The star was a massive red giant, long past its exuberant youth and into its twilight years. The fifth planet, a terrestrial sort of world, may have at one time supported life, but the vastly expanded sun had boiled away its atmosphere and left it a darkened, scorched, cinder.

Their hab arrived as Kennis and Mara shared a bath, and at their request displayed an image of the planet on the bath wall. Mara had queried the catalog before they had set off and found the world was not on file--it seemed odd to have no name to call it by. Kennis, however, quickly supplied one.

"Perdition?" Mara asked.

"Yes, from ancient mythology--a place of utter ruin and damnation. Why would anyone choose to live here?"

"Well, Bruk asked us to meet her here. I've no idea if this is where she actually lives."

Kennis' arms slithered around her waist from behind under the water, and drew her close. Mara smirked as Kennis kissed her ear and whispered "come meet me in the sunny flames of Perdition, there's nothing like a dead world as a setting to make a great first impression."

Mara looked back over her shoulder, cocked an eyebrow, and kissed Kennis on the lips. She returned the kiss enthusiastically. Is it me? Or did Perdition just get hotter? Kennis transmitted, and then yelped as Mara's hands found their mark, that ticklish spot just above her knee. Mara laughed then, full of mischief and easy familiarity.

"Mara! You wicked girl!" Kennis scolded playfully. It was at this point, typically, that the splashing began, and this time was no exception.

[Twenty minutes to dock]

"Hab! Kennis splashed me." Mara pretended to complain.

[I compute a 93% likelihood that this is because you tickled her. Again.]

"I fall for that every time," Kennis said, "you'd think I'd see it coming by now."

Mara turned to face Kennis and pressed up against her, her heady scent washing over Kennis. "Ah my love, of course you see it coming, and you let me do it anyway because you love me so." The kiss that followed was long and luxurious, and left their hearts thudding. Kennis gazed into Mara's hypnotic brown eyes.

"My love, if you do not get out of this bath right now, I fear you are going to be a few hundred years late for your meeting with Bruk."

"Well we can't have THAT. I get the sense that Bruk is a little preoccupied with time. 'Meet in one weeks time', 'The visit is not to exceed 90 minutes', la la la..."

Kennis leaned back as Mara rose from the bath, the water running in rivulets on her dark skin. "Well perhaps she chose such a cheery place precisely because she doesn't want you to stay too long."

Mara laughed as she reached for a freshly synthesized towel and began drying herself off. "You may be right Kennis. I suppose the location has an austere sort of beauty, but it is at the same time quite depressing. Can you imagine actually living in such a place?"

[Commencing landing procedures.]

Mara froze, and glanced at Kennis, who's face mirrored her thoughts. "Landing procedures?" she said, incredulous.

[Yes. Bruk's hab appears to be largely buried under the surface of Perdition's third moon. Docking will require landing, and deployment of the umbilicus.]

The umbilicus was a flexible docking tunnel sometimes used to connect habs when straightforward docking was not possible.

"Kennis... she DOES live here."

As the hab counted off the minutes to docking, Mara's cloud of nanos rapidly styled her hair and synthesized a satiny magenta sari for her with golden accents and, as always, decorative sandals. She spun once for Kennis.

"How do I look, my dear?"

"I think after you leave I shall have to switch from a warm bath to a cold shower."

After a brief goodbye kiss, Mara made her way to the man airlock. The hab touched down on the cratered surface of the barren lifeless satellite of Perdition. Bruk's hab was entirely buried under rocky hill, with only the upper airlock protruding from the soil. The upper airlock entrance was horizontally oriented, and would have to be entered from above via a ladder. With a whir the umbilicus extended, curving into place, and connected with Bruk's hab in a series of clacks and clinks.

Undaunted, Mara picked her way along the umbilicus and descended the ladder into Bruk's hab. The entrance chamber was dimly lit, and the floor resembled polished wood. Mara was not used to disarray, and was alarmed to see stacked rectangular objects in somewhat careless piles about the room, and everything covered in a fine layer of dust. Standing at the opposite end of the chamber was an odd looking woman dressed in a thick sweater, slacks, and boots, all black. Mara had never seen anyone like her--she was somewhat plump, her hair curly and gray, and fine wrinkles stretched across the skin of her face in various places. She was, Mara suddenly realized, old--which given the capabilities of the nanos meant that she had chosen to age. She smiled faintly at Mara as Mara walked over to her and held out her hand.

"You must be Bruk. I am Mara, I am delighted to meet you."

"Greetings Mara. Welcome to the habitat of Bruk. You have been granted limited guest access to basic habitat functions. You may call me Habitha."

It was a synth, Mara realized, an automaton composed entirely of nanos--a physical representation of the Hab itself. Seeing as Bruk lived alone, she perhaps found comfort in a synthetic companion of sorts.

"Thank you Habitha, will you take me to Bruk?"

"Yes, the master has been expecting you."

The master? Mara wondered. "Where is your master?"

"Most likely in the library. Shall we go? Master Bruk does not like to be kept waiting."

"Yes please. And do pass along the message that I have arrived in the meantime."

"I cannot. The master does not have a network receiver."

"What?"

"Master Bruk does not wish to be connected to the network."

Mara was stupefied. The network was essentially a compendium of human knowledge and experience, the idea that someone would not want access to it was mind-boggling to her. Habitha led her through several dark passages and cramped rooms, all piled with the same sorts of rectangular objects as she had seen in the entrance hall. "Habitha, why is everything covered in dust?"

"The master prefers it that way."

"Why are there piles of ... things in hallways and areas not meant for storage?"

"The master prefers it that way."

As Mara was becoming used to the odd musty scent in the air, the synth opened a hinged door and led her into a warmly lit and spacious chamber. There were a number of couches covered in worn brown fabric, standing lamps, standing shelves, and shelves lining the walls, filled with... "Books!" Mara said aloud, suddenly realizing what Bruk had scattered all over her hab. Thousands upon thousands of books, in print, on pages most likely made of a synthesized paper. "Habitha, why does..."

"The master prefers it that way." the synth said, with a trace of irritation.

"Of course." Mara said, taken slightly aback. Then the automaton began speaking louder. "Master Bruk?"

"Yes?" an odd voice responded from somewhere in the stacks.

"Miss Mara is here to see you."

Miss? Mara wondered. Nobody had ever called her 'Miss' Mara before.

"Who?" the strangely creaky voice asked.

"Miss Mara. Former wife of your granddaughter Miss Tyr?", the synth paused for a moment, but apart from the sound of rustling papers there was no response. "Whom you agreed to meet?", another pause, again met with shuffling sounds. "TODAY?" the synth tapped its foot impatiently. Mara couldn't help but smile, it was an impressive simulation.

"Dammit Habby, where did you put my notes?"

The synth glanced at Mara. "Just a minute, Mara," it said, and then wandered off into the stacks in the general direction of the voice, soon disappearing out of sight.

"If you would actually let me clean up around here, you might actually be able to find your notes."

"Don't touch anything, you'll ruin my whole system."

More frenzied rustling noises emanated from the stacks, followed by the sound of a large pile of books and papers toppling to the floor. Mara put a hand over her mouth.

"Well don't just stand there. Help me with this."

"Oh now you want my help do you?"

"Habitha..."

"I could put this entire hab in order in moments, but no..."

"Habby..."

"*sigh* Here they are. You were SITTING on them." At this there was a lengthy pause. "All part of your system?" Mara tried to stifle her laughter.

"Isn't there something else you have to do right now?" Bruk asked, clearly irritated.

The synth emerged shortly thereafter and smiled wanly at Mara. "The master will see you now, " it said, before leaving the chamber and shutting the hinged door behind it.

Moments later Bruk emerged from the stacks and approached Mara with a smile. She wore grey slacks, a powder blue button-down shirt, and a tweed jacket which had a bit of wear on it. It was immediately apparent why her voice had sounded so strange--Bruk was expressing male! For whatever reason, Bruk had expressed her male genes, causing her to have a male physique. She had chosen not only to be male, but to also be quite old... receding hairline, wispy white hair, and a neatly cropped white beard. She wore a pair of rimmed lenses over her eyes.

Mara was immediately alarmed. Generally immortals only expressed male when they intended to breed, or on rare occasions for sexual play. Mara began to wonder exactly what Bruk had in mind, and immediately backed away from her.

"I'm sorry Bruk." Mara said, holding up a hand, "I did not come here to breed."

A pained look crossed Bruk's face. "Oh for goodness sake. I didn't invite you here to breed."

"Then why are you expressing male?"

"I'm not expressing male, young lady. I *am* male."

"What?"

"I'm not a Gamman like you, Mara. I was born Homo sapiens, on Earth, as a male. My parents got me into the Lentus program when I was 16, and I didn't make the transition to Immortalis until I was 492. I wasn't just born an immortal female like you."

"But don't you have a standard immortalis genome?"

"Of course."

"Well, why don't you just express female?"

"Because I'm not a female!"

"I don't understand."

"No I suppose you wouldn't. Let me put it another way. Your appearance is Indian."

"Yes, my ancestors hailed from India."

"Right, but with the immortalis genome you can express however you like, so why don't you express as caucasian?"

"Well I could but..." her voice trailed off.

"But you're not caucasian are you? Your Indian appearance is part of your identity--you might choose to express differently in certain occasions, but your natural state is as you are."

Mara wore a chagrined expression. "I'm sorry Bruk, I misunderstood."

"Well, " he said with a sigh, "you wouldn't be the first. I'm a real hit at parties."

Mara giggled.

"I suppose Tyr didn't warn you either."

"No, she didn't. Tyr thinks I place too much emphasis on physical appearance, I suspect she thought it would be good for me to meet you unprepared."

"Uh-huh. She's a fish. And she thinks YOU need help?"

Mara laughed suddenly. Tyr was right, Bruk was quite a character.

"Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love some, but we only have 90 minutes, I don't want to take up too much of your time."

"Oh that's just Habby trying to manage my schedule. I swear she thinks she's in charge," Bruk said, and then raised his voice, "Habby?" he called, and then jumped as the synth materialized next to him.

"Yes Master Bruk?"

"How many times have I told you not to pop in and out like that? You walk in and out of the door like a normal person."

"Yes of course, that's much more efficient."

Bruk stared at the synth for a moment. "Go get us some tea."

"You had six worlds slated for this afternoon."

"Extend my schedule. After you go and get us some tea."

"Yes Master Bruk," the synth said and promptly dematerialized.

The miffed expression on his face was priceless. Mara laughed again.

Shortly thereafter, the synth returned, this time using the hinged door, carrying a platter upon which was a porcelain decanter, teacups, and various other containers.

While Habitha and Bruk conversed, Mara studied the old man. The very notion of an "old man" seemed anachronistic--his mobility seemed somewhat limited, and his appearance was not youthful. But he still seemed beautiful in his own way, he had a dignity about him. Her eyes kept returning to his beard--she had never seen a person with one. Kennis had expressed male once or twice, but never long enough to have a beard--and Mara preferred Kennis in her natural state anyway. It seemed so strange a thing and yet it made Bruk appear distinguished--erudite. Now why should that be? Mara wondered. Why does a beard connote erudition?

His eyes were bright and blue and he seemed sharp and aware, but there was also an air of confusion about him. Absentmindedness was unheard of among immortals. Even if he should allow his body to age to some degree, that would not explain why he wouldn't remember his appointment with her. Or where he kept his notes. Or even why he had to take notes in the first place. The biology of the immortal brain was finite--it simply could not retain all the information in an infinite life--a large portion of the memory was stored in the data core of the hab, and maintained by a network of nanos which could transmit the information over considerable distances. The hab-core was quantum entangled to a backup core in a secure location, so in the event of the loss of a hab, the immortal's memory would not be lost. The communication between the immortal's brain, the nanos, and the habcores was essentially instantaneous--providing an infinite memory that was always accessible. To the immortal it was simply "remembering"--there was no effort involved, it simply happened--and had been designed that way, the immortal never knew whether her memories were biologically based or in "offsite storage". Even though Bruk had no network port, such a device was not a necessary component in the retrieval of memory.

"Well," Bruk said, after the tea had been set out and Habitha had departed, "before we talk planets, I imagine you have some questions for me. There are always questions. Anything else about me being male? Would you like to touch it?"

Mara thought that quite a nonsequitur and wondered just what exactly he was referring to. "Touch it?"

"My beard, " he said, "Gammans always seem to be preoccupied with it."

Mara felt a little embarrassed--she had been staring after all. "In truth, I have never seen a person with one. Yes, may I touch it?"

Bruk smiled and leaned forward to allow Mara to lightly caress his bearded chin. She wrinkled her nose slightly and drew her hand back.

"It's soft yet bristly, and it tickles to the touch. I think it quite charming."

"The ladies loved it back in the day. Anything else?"

"Why have you chosen to age?"

"Getting old is part of the human condition. I was much more "aged" than this when I made the transition to immortalis. But I couldn't bring myself to unwind all the years and go back to being the equivalent of 30 years old again. My life was almost over when I became immortal... being old was part of who I was. I wound the clock back to my 120's though, which is when I still had strength, mobility, and so forth. It would be like you going back to being an adolescent again."

"But is there not some discomfort in the age you have chosen?"

"Yes. But an eternally happy and painless existence is not natural."

"Excuse me?"

"How can one truly know happiness or pleasure, if one hasn't also known sadness or pain?"

"But a life need not have constant physical pain to make one appreciate happiness. I lost my beautiful Tyr many millennia ago and I am still saddened by it."

There was a brief mistiness in Bruk's eyes, as if he were seeing something long since gone. He came out of it almost immediately. "It pleases me to be a crotchety old fart full of discomfort. Anything else?"

"Why do you keep books?"

Bruk looked baffled. "To read, girl. Why else would I keep books?"

"You READ them?"

"Well of course I read them. How else am I going to learn what is in them?"

"But you could read them instantaneously if you had a network port, and then you wouldn't have to fill your hab with them."

"I'm a human being not a computer. Knowledge isn't supposed to just magically appear in your brain, you are supposed to work for it! Besides, I *like* reading books. Have you ever tried it?"

"Well. No not like you do. I suppose I should try it, perhaps I would like it too."

"Damn right you should. Everyone should. Why if I didn't read books you wouldn't be here."

"What do you mean?" Mara asked.

Bruk closed his eyes for a moment, and Mara instinctively took it as him sampling the network, but immediately realized that couldn't be the case. He was trying to remember something. Keeping his eyes closed, he began to recite, and Mara heard her own words coming from his mouth:

"...The truth alas I must concede
Both are blossoms, both are reeds,
Both the same, with different needs--
From the pistil comes no seed."

Opening his eyes, he took on an apologetic look "sorry if I didn't get it right."

"You read my book, Songs of Tyr?"

"Yes, and I savored every word. Marvelous poetry. It was pleasing to hear about Tyr from such a unique perspective. Poetry, there's a perfect example of something that should be experienced in its proper meter, slowly and thoughtfully. Fifty thousand years of love should not appear fully formed as a blip in the mind."

"My Kennis seemed to like it."

"Maybe SHE should read a book."

"I think she's just fine the way she is." Mara stated plainly. She did not like the implication that simply because she (or particularly Kennis) hadn't experienced something Bruk had, they were doing something wrong.

"But not Tyr." Bruk added, with a bit of challenge in his voice. Mara realized he didn't like the fact that she and Tyr were not together, and seemed to have directed that displeasure at Kennis. She found his rapid changes in direction and mood somewhat unsettling--he definitely didn't seem to think like any immortal she knew.

"I am not with Kennis because I thought there was something wrong with Tyr. As you should well know since you read Songs of Tyr, Tyr wanted something from me I could not give her. After awhile this began to make her unhappy, and I couldn't bear being the source of her unhappiness. So I let her go, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I will not sit here and be judged for it." She picked up a napkin from the platter and dabbed at her eyes.

"Well, " Bruk said "then you did what you thought was best for Tyr, and I can't begrudge you that. I'm sorry Mara. And she seemed quite happy with that girl... what's her name?"

"Ellan. How do you not know her name? You seem to have trouble with recollection--keeping notes, forgetting appointments, names, and so forth. Is your brain... damaged?"

"Damaged? No my brain isn't damaged. It's just not nano-assisted."

Mara's eyes widened in surprise. "You don't have nanomemory? But... how do you... remember?"

"Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I forget."

"But why would you--"

"Sometimes," he said, drawing in a pregnant breath, "you want to forget. And besides, I can't remember many of the details of my early life--this too is part of the human condition. I couldn't go from my natural state to a state of total recall. I don't need all those memories to be who I am."

Mara was speechless.

"Look. This tea we're about to have. It's a chamomile tea. Have you ever had chamomile tea before?"

"Yes, I had chamomile tea with Kennis and her friend Lispeth 113,761 years ago. We thought it might be a lark to eat a meal, so we had a breakfast of synthetic fruits and bread and listened to Lispeth's latest symphony--"

"This is exactly what I am talking about. Why do you NEED that memory? What has that got to do with anything? You're so busy data dumping the details of the event you forgot to say what the tea was like. Or if you even liked it."

"Perhaps if I had not been interrupted..." Mara said, tilting her head and cocking an eyebrow at Bruk with a little half smile.

Bruk smirked, "patience has never been a virtue of mine."

"Well, two and a half million years of impatience... it appears there's a test of wills between you and eternity."

"Yes, but I intend to win."

Mara laughed and then looked about alarmed as the room trembled slightly. "What was THAT?"

"Oh that's just the star. It will soon nova."

"Nova?!"

"Yes, at some point in the next few thousand years, it will catastrophically destroy itself, the end of its life. It's why Habitha is always after me about my schedule. I've wanted to complete my galactic survey before I die."

Mara knew that there were some rare few immortals that had chosen to die--some had simply become tired of living itself, others felt that they had accomplished everything they wanted to. Others had lost loved ones to tragic accidents and did not wish to continue existing afterward. That the alphan wished to die was nonetheless a completely alien concept to her.

"You choose to live here in Perdition because you wish to die?"

"Perdition?"

"Sorry, it's the name Kennis gave this star system--it had no name on record."

Bruk chuckled, "oh I like her, she sounds a sport. Much better than the name I chose--much better indeed. But yes, when Perdition dies, so will I."

He regarded her silently. The question was obvious but it would have been an invasion of his privacy to ask it. "You doubtless want to know why."

She nodded.

"I'm old, Mara. I don't just mean in appearance, I am incalculably old. Everything I recognize from my entire species has changed into something else. Earth itself is an alien ecosystem--there are no humans there. I've explored the galaxy for millions of years and made countless discoveries of worlds, other life forms, perplexing and beautifully complex planetary systems. I have discovered so much that the process of discovery itself holds no pleasure for me. What is there when newness itself is tedious?"

"You need not devote yourself to discovery. Why not create? Art? Music? Books? Share your discoveries with others and hear their thoughts? As it is you spend your life utterly alone with only a synth for companionship, why not seek a partner--someone to share your life with?"

"These are all arguments I've heard before, from Habitha herself. I had a partner Mara, a long time ago--another Alphan named Jyreeza. We were in the Lentus Program together, and I loved her dearly. We were both very old when the immortalis conversion became available, all of our children had undergone the process and they asked us to as well. We looked forward to seeing them grow, and an infinite future together seemed like paradise at the time."

Mara could sense what was coming--the immortalis conversion according to historical record had a 5% failure rate. "Jyreeza did not survive the conversion?"

He nodded, "and I've lived an eternity without her. I do not want another partner. I've lived a long time, Mara, and I think now, it is long enough. Death is part of what it means to be human."

She did not agree, but kept her thoughts to herself--it was an intensely private thing, and it was not her place to intrude. "I'm sorry, Bruk, I didn't mean to pry."

"That's fine. Take a sip of your tea before it gets cold."

She did so, and found it fabulously superior to the last chamomile tea she had sampled. "This is superb!"

"It's not synthetic. There's a greenhouse in my hab and I've grown the plants myself from the genetic database."

The room trembled again. Mara, are you feeling that? Hab says this star is pretty unstable. We probably shouldn't stay long. Kennis transmitted.

"Bruk, Kennis is concerned about Perdition putting us at risk."

"Tell her not to worry, Habitha has positioned an extensive network of probes around the star and she will be able to tell several hours before it goes nova."

Darling, Bruk's hab is monitoring the star closely and will be able to warn us well in advance of any actual danger. See you soon my love.

Keeping the bath warm for you... Kennis responded. Mara could almost feel Kennis smirking.

After they had finished the tea, Bruk led Mara through a series of hinged doors to another room full of bookshelves--these were filled with notebooks in which Bruk's observations of every world he had visited were recorded. Unlike the library, this room was fastidiously tidy. On a low circular table four notebooks had been set out.

"I had Habitha set these out earlier. There are several worlds in each one but among them four candidates which I think you will like of which one is my particular favorite, a world I called Shiran. Would you like to make a quick hop there to have a look at it?"

"Your hab is integrated into the mountainside... how will we do this? For that matter how have you been doing it all along?"

"Habitha is a hab within a hab, the outer hab is a relatively thin layer of infrastructure. You've been inside the inner hab for most of your time here--something I call the pod. The pod hops directly from inside the hab to any location of my choosing."

"But hops are imprecise--how do you get the pod back inside the hab?"

"The outer hab contains nanobeacons that communicate with the pod, allowing the pod to orient itself perfectly and hop back inside the outer hab."

"That's ingenious! Why have I never heard of this technology?"

"Because I haven't published it. Habitha maintains digital copies of my work which are set to be published the instant Perdition goes nova--my last contribution to my species. Now would you like to see Shiran?"

Bruk jumped suddenly as Habitha materialized. "Dammit woman, haven't I asked you not to do that?"

The synth pointedly ignored his irritation. "I've finished cleaning up the tea cups and have reorganized your schedule, master Bruk. But there is a failure in the nanobeacon network."

"A failure? What's this now?"

"The star's last disturbance seems to have disrupted the nanobeacons. I am effecting repairs but the pod cannot hop during the repair process."

Bruk handed the four notebooks to Mara. "Well, I guess you'll have to go without me then, everything you will need will be in there. Do you some good to read it."

There was another tremble, and at this a number of notebooks fell from their shelves in a heap.

"And it looks like I have plenty to do anyway." Bruk noted ruefully.

"Don't touch anything," Habitha said sharply, "you will mess up my whole system." She brushed past Bruk and began sorting the fallen notebooks.

Mara laughed. "Bruk, why don't you come with Kennis and I? We'll hop to Shiran and have a look, and then bring you back."

"Well..." Bruk began.

"Oh please, would you get him out of my hair for an afternoon? That would be marvelous." Habitha said without looking up.

"Habby. You know I prefer to stay here."

"Well I suppose you and I could spend the afternoon going over your schedule, " Habitha said sweetly with a sardonic smile, "if you think you'd enjoy that more."

Bruk held up his hands "fine, fine, fine." He looked at Mara, "you're sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. We'd love to have you. I'll just let Kennis know you are coming--she's in the bath."

Habitha made a shooing motion with her hands. "Go on, go on, I've work to do and you are in my way."

Minutes later Bruk and Mara reentered her own hab. Having been warned in advance by Mara, Kennis was not at all surprised by Bruk's appearance, but strangely he was surprised at hers. She had adorned a small tiara, gold bracelets, and necklaces of jade beads and bits of coral. Mara thought she looked lovely. Bruk thought otherwise.

"Hello Bruk, welcome to our hab. I am Kennis. Mara has told me about your visit. I'm pleased that you have decided to visit with us."

"Goodness, girl, put on some clothes!" he responded, averting his eyes.

"What?" she said glancing down at herself "Am I so repulsive?"

"Would you please dress?"

Bruk's a bit eccentric Kennis, maybe you should put something on. *I* think you are beautiful. Mara transmitted.

"Very well, if you insist. I apologize for offending you though I don't see what the problem is." She placed her hands on her hips and waited as a mist of nanos surrounded her and synthesized a satin kimono, turquoise with lapis accents. "Better?"

Bruk glanced at her, "Much. Sorry Kennis, in my day, people didn't greet guests unclothed--that was reserved for lovers."

"I apologize."

"No that's... that's fine." He seemed quite shaken, much to Mara and Kennis' amusement.

"Well it's good to know that if I get tired of your presence I have a sure fire way to get rid of you." Kennis said, with a smirk.

"Kennis!" Mara said, partly shocked but still laughing.

Bruk glanced at Mara, "Oh I *do* like her."

After the pleasantries, including Kennis touching Bruk's beard, they retired to the atrium where Bruk read the coordinates of Shiran from his notebook, aloud, and the hab disengaged from his own, lifted off and made the hop. Immediately an immense swirl of stars became visible through the windows of the atrium. Both Mara and Kennis were transfixed by it--it was a galaxy.

"Where are we?" Mara asked.

"We are in the Small Magellanic Cloud, you are looking at the Milky Way." Bruk said, "Hab, can we have a view of Shiran?"

An image appeared on the atrium wall of a terrestrial world--blue and green and dotted with white clouds.

"Shiran." Bruk said simply.

"It's beautiful, Bruk. How does it come by this environment? Is that vegetation?"

"It is. From my survey here I was able to discern that Shiran was once inhabited by a sentient species--ruins on the surface make this clear. But they were wiped out by a disease that they were unable to cure. All that remains is some limited vegetation and microbial life. The biochemistry is very similar to that of Earth--you should be able to create humans here with minor alterations to allow them to metabolize this vegetation. You could also seed the environment with various species from Earth, but of course they'll all need to be altered slightly. Gravity is 1.1 G, rotation period is 31 hours, two satellites, one very tiny (350 km diameter--probably a captured asteroid) and one much larger (2100 km diameter.) Atmospheric makeup is similar to Earth's but has enough differences that genetic modification will be required. Not too bad though. All in all it's a perfect fit for your requirements. Would you like to go down and have a look?"

"Yes! It sounds marvelous. Kennis, will you come?"

"Of course, darling."

[Proximity warning. A traveler is arriving.] Hab transmitted.

"What?" Mara said aloud, while Kennis glanced out the window.

Bruk looked at her strangely. "I didn't say anything," he said.

"Hab, Bruk has no network port, please address all common broadcasts vocally."

"Yes Mara, " the disembodied voice of the hab filled the air, " apologies Bruk, I was not aware that you were not network enabled. Welcome to the hab of Mara and Kennis, you have been granted full guest access to all hab functions."

"Thank you, please repeat your last broadcast."

"Proximity warning. A traveler is arriving. Vehicle has hopped in and is entering orbit around Shiran."

Mara was crestfallen--"could the original inhabitants of this world be returning to claim it?"

"No, I don't understand it. From my brief survey I saw no evidence of a space faring culture. Hab, can we have a view of the visitor?"

The image on the atrium wall flickered and showed an oblong vessel, roughly ovoid, with no visible markings or windows--just a pair of hatches and an otherwise featureless hull of dark gray metal.

"What is that?" Mara asked.

"The pod." Bruk said, and with sudden realization, "Damn you Habitha."

"The what?" Kennis asked.

Hab began vocalizing again, "Mara, you asked to be notified of new entries in the planetary catalog. Catalog size has just increased by 1,512,378 worlds."

"DAMN YOU HABITHA!" Bruk exploded. "Nanobeacon failure my foot! Dammit!"

"Incoming data stream from other vessel. Vessel identifies itself as the hab of Bruk, and requests access rights to manifest a synth. Mara or Kennis, will you receive this stream?" Hab announced.

"Yes." Kennis and Mara said together. Instantly, Habitha appeared in a swirl of nanos.

"Your works have been published in accordance with your wishes, master Bruk."

"They were supposed to be published in the event of my death, Habitha."

"Your specific instructions were to publish them when Perdition became a nova."

"Yes, and I was supposed to be there at the time."

"I am aware of that."

"You lied to me, Habby."

"Yes I did. I carried out my prime directive through the only means you left me."

A hab's prime directive was to protect its occupants at all costs.

"The prime directive includes a right to die clause, Habitha."

"Bruk, " the synth said, taking on an unsettlingly human tone, " you coded me to look like her, think like her, and act like her. What would she have done?"

His eyes filled with tears. "Habitha, please delete all iterations of the Kindred program."

Habitha nodded and said with a smile, "I think that's best." Immediately the synth collapsed into a cloud of nanos that streamed away through various vents.

"Goodbye Jyreeza, " he whispered softly.

Photos from the Ice Storm in Fitchburg

Abacquer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:30:40 -0500

Last week's ice storm really socked us here in Fitchburg. We lost power for seven days, but fortunately had access to a generator so we could run our furnace. Finally got my pictures from the storm uploaded.

Attention Wal*Mart Shoppers: You Make Me Sick

Abacquer — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 09:54:37 -0500

I'd like to take this opportunity to express my utter disgust at the crowd of shoppers who mobbed the doors of a Wal*Mart in Long Island yesterday morning, broke through the doors, and trampled a 34-year old employee to death. There is NOTHING that can be found in Wal*Mart that is worth crushing a human being for--none of you were in desperate need of food or medicines that could only be had in that store and nowhere else on the planet. Believe it or not, your kids will survive if they don't get Guitar Hero for Christmas.

Wal-Mart Employee Trampled to Death (The New York Times):
...Detective Lt. Michael Fleming, who is in charge of the investigation for the Nassau police, said the store lacked adequate security. He called the scene "utter chaos" and said the "crowd was out of control." As for those who had run over the victim, criminal charges were possible, the lieutenant said. "I’ve heard other people call this an accident, but it is not," he said. "Certainly it was a foreseeable act."...

I strongly urge the detective and the county DA to pursue criminal charges against these people. There is security video from the store, so there should be no problem identifying them and providing evidence of their guilt. Nobody "accidentally" breaks a door down and kills a man. The Damour family will have an empty seat at the dinner table for the rest of their lives because of a bunch of stupid assholes wanted to save a buck.

It's 2008 folks, you don't get to be cattle anymore. Whoever went to that Wal*Mart yesterday morning and forgot to bring their humanity? I hope you rot in prison.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Abacquer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:18:08 -0500

Just taking a moment to wish a happy thanksgiving to my friends and anyone else who happens by. I'll be visiting Mom today for a thanksgiving dinner. I don't know how much I'll be able to eat though--exactly seven days ago I had the last of my teeth removed. My mouth is still pretty sore and the new dentures, unfortunately, don't seem to fit well. But I'll muddle through.

Sorry I haven't written much. I just haven't had much to say. Strangely, things in the news that have outraged me haven't given me the urge to write, mostly because it seems to be the same thing every time. (Prop 8's passage for example.)

Election: Voting Station Report - South Easton, MA

Abacquer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 12:21:49 -0500

My beloved sister, Donna, has voted and sent in the following report from South Easton, MA...

Election: Holy Crap! It's 6:44 AM on ELECTION DAY!!!!

Abacquer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 06:45:27 -0500

Okay, I gotta kick off my bunny slippers and get out to my polling station. Polls open at seven here in sunny Fitchburg. After that I will probably tool around Fitchburg looking for election-related photographs, then it's back here to immerse myself in constant coverage for the day!

Election: Palin in Favor of Federal Gay Marriage Ban

Abacquer — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:08:34 -0500

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised given what a wackaloon theist McCain's screwhead VP pick is, but just in case it wasn't obvious... Sarah Palin supports a federal Gay Marriage ban--because her religion frowns upon it, it should be illegal for people who don't share her religion. Basically, because she is arrogant.

...in my own, state, I have voted along with the vast majority of Alaskans who had the opportunity to vote to amend our Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman. I wish on a federal level that that's where we would go because I don't support gay marriage. I'm not going to be out there judging individuals, sitting in a seat of judgment telling what they can and can't do, should and should not do, but I certainly can express my own opinion here and take actions that I believe would be best for traditional marriage and that's casting my votes and speaking up for traditional marriage that, that instrument that it's the foundation of our society is that strong family and that's based on that traditional definition of marriage...

Knuckledraggers love this witch. If McCain doesn't win, I expect we will be hearing from her again in 2012. Crooks and liars has the video and transcript of Palin's statement to CBN's David Brody.

Happy Birthday James!

Abacquer — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 06:42:40 -0400

It's that time again! James is celebrating his 39'th birthday for the third time today. Happy Birthday James. Hope you are well and that you are taking today off to relax and enjoy yourself.

Busy Weekend

Abacquer — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 18:02:30 -0400

Well this weekend has been half-busy. Went to see my Mom on Saturday... Friday was a rough day for her too since it was her and Dad's wedding anniversary. I helped her rake leaves and we got the pictures off her camera for her. She seems to be enjoying her new point-and-shoot and has been taking a lot of pictures.

We had a little cake for my birthday and then I told my Mom about something I had seen on YouTube--the story of Charles Ingram, who cheated at "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" and won the $1000000 prize--he eventually ended up in court and was sentenced to 18 months (suspended) and had to pay fines. It was an interesting story--here are the links if you want to watch it (the entire documentary is about 75 minutes):

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQoNWw0G2AY
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XpDMxyFakY
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOOhfQk5-58
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q0K_I4DMX4
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obswP-3JFss
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFpBLsLCMQ8
Part 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve5lx_LowaI
Part 8: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU14bYbJWVw

Mom loves game shows like Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, and so forth, so she found the story interesting too. We got back here pretty late Saturday night.

Sunday was the slow day. Patty went to Pickety Place with her family and I stayed home with Lynnea. She had a friend over and they seemed to have a good time. I did some photo work, played some video games, and enjoyed my new birthday gift.

Last year, my trusty old SAMSUNG YP7 MP3 player went through the wash in the pocket of my sweatshirt. :( So I was without a player for a long time. Sometime months ago I came into a little money (probably a gift from someone--don't remember now) and Pat asked if I wanted to replace the MP3 player. But at the time I felt it was better to put the money in my photography business account. There's still a couple pieces of equipment I am trying to save up for.

But over the ensuing months I realized just how much I missed having music whenever I wanted it, especially when I go to sleep. So, having received a little birthday money, I decided on Saturday to go out and get a new one. It's a Sansa Clip (4Gb)... and I can fit almost my entire song library on it. (No iPods for this music lover!) Plays great, and it includes an FM tuner and voice recorder for those rare moments when I want to take notes.

Let's see what else has been going on? I've been watching the election polls with trepidation I *really* want Obama to win... 8 years of Republican mismanagement has been more than enough. I'd like to finally see universal health care become a reality in this country. I'd like to see a serious move away from fossil fuels. I'll probably run a blogathon on election day.

So here it is around dinnertime on Sunday, and I am trying not to think about work tomorrow. Figured I'd write a blog post for y'all. It's been forever, it seems, since I was blogging regularly.

Oh, I've had Mara and Kennis knocking about in my head again recently... I may write a little more of their story at some point.

Bye Pooch

Abacquer — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:58:45 -0400

Well, my old dog had her last morning this morning. We knew she wasn't well when she wouldn't eat and was having trouble moving around the kitchen. A quick trip to the vet confirmed that the old girl had tumors all through her body and was on her last legs. The vet said that putting her down humanely was the best option for her, so that's what we did.

She was a good dog, and in her older years she and I became much closer than when she was younger. Apart from the last couple days she was always in good spirits, and would often do something we called "the happy Tina dance"... it involved her rolling about on the floor and kicking her legs happily while arching her back. The last time I saw her do it was last week after I gave her a bath. So I know she was happy pretty much right up to the end.

So long Tumblin' Tina... for 15 years you've been a faithful (if dimwitted) companion to us, and we will always love you.

Products of the Morning Toil

Abacquer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:13:29 -0400

Today I went in for my "final impressions" which is what you see in this image (crappy quality because I used a cellphone to shoot it.)

The blue thing at lower left is the final upper impression. It will be used to mold the fit of the upper denture.
The blue thing at lower right is the final lower impression that will be used to mold the fit of the lower denture. Eventually I will probably need one more lower impression to reline the lower denture once my gums have healed and receded.
The white thing in the center is an amalgum impression of my temporary upper denture. This will be used to shape the teeth in the new denture so they will look and feel consistent with what I have right now.
That pink and yellow monstrosity at the top is a wax model. The pink part is wax, I don't know what the yellow part is made from. The whole wax part of this model had to be in my mouth at once! Not pleasant. The dentist has carved out some teeth on the upper part for reference. He will use this to make sure the bite of the new dentures matches my current bite, and to make sure everything fits.

The dentures will be ready in about 4 weeks, and then I will have the surgery to remove the teeth.

And then I will be officially toothless.

Seven More To Go

Abacquer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:54:16 -0400

As you know I had extensive oral surgery last year to remove all but seven of my teeth for health reasons. Over the intervening year I have watched those remaining teeth degrade over time. Before long they were staining, losing chips, and otherwise falling apart... as I had feared they might.

The other day my lower partial denture broke in half so I visited my dentist this morning and asked him to look at the teeth. He was surprised at their state. He could tell I have been taking care of them, but nonetheless they are deteriorating rapidly. There was nothing else for it really, except to remove these teeth as well.

So he took an impression today for a new (full) lower plate and an updated impression for the upper denture, plus x-rays for the oral surgeon. In two weeks time I go to see him again for some final impressions and then they will set up my surgery. After that I'll be back for adjustments and then the long sorry tale of my teeth will finally be over.

I'm blue about it of course, but I am trying to take it in stride. These things happen. Better it be handled now before these teeth start making me sick again.

It turned out that the temporary lower partial was indeed not made to last, the final lower partial would have had a metal or otherwise far more permanent construction. At least I got a year+ wear out of it. No sense in repairing it now since the rest of the teeth have to go.

Business Website Updated

Abacquer — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:58:41 -0400

Well I spent this afternoon making some more updates to my business website. I incorporated a few more images and rearranged the order of the images on the thumb bar at the bottom of the page.

I also added arrow buttons to allow the user to manually rotate through the thumbs, and also set the thumb bar to auto-rotate if the image currently displayed by the slideshow doesn't appear on the thumb bar.

One invisible but important change was to set up timely preloading of the images such that there shouldn't be a big wait for individual images to load, but also no big wait up front. Basically the page now loads an image, and schedules the preload of the next image a few seconds later, long before the slideshow will automatically display it. In this way, the next image is loading while the user is viewing the current image, and should avoid delays.

If the user dorks with the thumb-bar the preloads and slideshow are cancelled and rescheduled to be further out. Theoretically this should prevent the user from being interrupted while working the toolbar with annoying delays or images loading.

Designing the Fun Away

Abacquer — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:52:38 -0400

Ever have a challenging pastime to which you applied analytical skills and ended up making it so easy it ceased to be fun? This happens to me occasionally. A couple years back we had a sort of "puzzle craze" in the United Stated over "sudoku", a sort of numeric logic puzzle originating from Japan.

The basic puzzle is a 9x9 box of squares in which some of the squares have been filled in with numbers. Your assignment is to fill in the rest of the squares by following 3 simple rules: (1) each number can appear only once in each row, (2) each number can appear only once in each column, (3) each number can appear only once in each "major square". The major squares are nine 3x3 boxes superimposed over the 9x9 puzzle in a non-overlapping fashion (so the first major square is formed by columns 1, 2, and 3 where they pass through rows 1, 2, and 3, the next at the intersection of columns 4, 5, and 6 with rows 1, 2, and 3, and so on.) Since every row contains 9 squares, and every column contains 9 squares, and every major square contains 9 squares, the only numbers you will ever add to the puzzle are the numbers 1 to 9.

There are larger and more complex variants on the basic sudoku, but the above is the most popular and familiar variety. I did sudokus for awhile but eventually tired of them and moved on to new pastimes.

One reason I tired of them is that a large part of sudoku is simple, repetitive, busy work. You eliminate the possibilities for each square until a solution pops out for one square and then you fill that in and go back and reevaluate the possibilities for the other squares. For example, a given square can be any number between 1 and 9. But if you look at the column that square is in and find 1, 5, and 6 are already used, those are no longer possibilities for that square. If the row that square is in contains 2, 3, and 7, then those possibilities are also eliminated. Further if the major square it is in already contains 4 and 9, then those possibilities are eliminated too, leaving only 8, so in this case the square must be 8.

It's much more interesting when you start getting into the more complicated bits of reasoning that involve multiple squares. Like for instance if a major square is filled in except for two squares, then those two squares have only two possibilities. Let's say the possibilities are 5 and 9. Further assume that these two squares are in the same row (or column). Immediately we can say of all the other squares in that row (or column) that none can be 5 or 9 since those two options have to be used up by those two squares. But getting to that point involves getting through a period of tedious repetition.

But when you are stuck in a cabin in the rain for a day, away from the amenities you typically would enjoy, even a tedious pastime is welcome. However, I've found one thing consistently true among software engineers: they generally hate doing tasks by hand which would be better done by a simple computer program. So I was plonking along with sudoku puzzles, eliminating options by hand when I said "this is stupid, I could make a simple spreadsheet macro to do this for me."

So I built a spreadsheet that would show me the remaining possibilities for each row and column as a row or column header. Then when I was eliminating possibilities for major squares I said "this is stupid, I can use the same macro to do this for me." So I added a bit to my spreadsheet to show me the possibilities remaining for every major square. So now for a given cell I could compare the possibilities for its row, to the possibilities for its column, and the possibilities for its major square and the intersection of those three would represent the possibilities for the cell. (For example, if the cell is in a row with 4,5,6,7 available, and a column with 2,3,5,7,8 available, and a major square with 1,5,7,9 available, the possibilities for that cell are only 5 and 7, because that is the intersection of the three sets of possibilities.)

I suppose you can guess what happened next. "This is stupid, I can write a simple function to take the intersection of these possibilities."

One other basic sudoku-solving technique is to look for "loners". A loner is the only square in a row (or column or major square) that includes a particular number as one of its possibilities. For example if you have four unfilled squares in a major square and their possibilites are (2,3,4), (2,3,5), (3,5), and (2,5) you can say the first one has to be 4. Even though 2 and 3 are possibilities for this square, since it is the only square that can be 4, then it must be 4. Finding loners is also tedious, and you can imagine what I did as a result. "This is stupid, yadda yadda yadda..."

So now I had a spreadsheet that would eliminate all the impossible values for a square based on simple cross checking and which would identify loners for me. But I found as I was entering puzzles that this solved so much of the puzzle automatically, there was very little left for me to do. The spreadsheet would notify me when I caused an error (forced the possibilities for a cell to dwindle to nothing) and in those cases where I needed to make a guess to explore one possible solution, the spreadsheet would allow me to snapshot the puzzle at that point so I could get back to it if the puzzle didn't work out. With these features available puzzles rated "difficult" were taking under 2 minutes to solve. After 5 or 6 of them I shut Excel done and was done with sudoku for the day. Why bother? It was too easy now.

The pastime had become writing the code to perform the tedious operations. Once that was accomplished I was no longer interested in performing those operations. Go figure.

I Can Haz Internet?

Abacquer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:43:22 -0400

So yesterday I was exhausted in the morning. I had fallen asleep about 10 PM the night before and then woke up around 2 AM. I was excited to be writing about Mara and Kennis again, and when I woke up I went back to work on it. By 7 AM the chapter was nearing completion but I was utterly wasted. So toward the end it got a little rushed but all in all I was satisfied.

It also looked to be the only day we weren't going to have rain. So needless to say the fam was up and about by 8 and looking to go out for a day hike. But I was so not up to it. So I slept on the couch while they went out and had fun. I woke up around 1:15 or so, and trekked to the information center in Thornton where there was a public access internet terminal. The wifi on this old laptop is fried... so I need more than an access point.

When I got there two people were coming out, a man and a woman, and the man was saying "well ya, I could have checked that if I could have gotten on the computer." That didn't sound good.

Once inside I noticed a teenage girl was on the computer, so I decided to kill some time and asked the person on staff for information about local architecture that I could shoot. He recommended a list of covered bridges starting with the Blair Bridge. I had already shot the Blair Bridge last year, but thought it would be nice to try again with the 5D. Plus I had an idea for something new to try, and even had the necessary lens in my bag--fisheye shots from inside a covered bridge. I thought that would look really cool.

We talked for about 20 minutes. When we were done the young lady was still using the computer, so I said, quite clearly from about 3 feet away. "Thank you sir, do you mind if I wait here for a bit? I need to use your internet access." The staff member said, "Sure no problem." The young lady glanced up at me and then went back to what she was doing.

I had brought my Kennis and Mara story with me, all preformatted and ready to post. All I would need to do is copy and paste it into a window and click a button. Then I wanted to check my mail, respond to any comments on my blog or flickr, check twitter and post a tweet about shooting bridges, and then I would be on my way. I figured it was about 10-15 minutes of time on the computer. So I sat in the chairs provided to wait. These chairs are situated immediately behind the computer, which is probably not a good idea because it means you can see whatever the person using the computer is doing.

And in this case the person using the computer was on MySpace. I realize it is a public access terminal, and nothing I was going to do was any more important than poking about on MySpace. That wasn't the problem. The problem was this young person was posting comments on MySpace pages and then waiting for responses to be posted. Or rather, hoping responses would be posted. She would check her incoming MySpace messages, and then scroll up and down, up and down, up and down, on her MySpace page, continually refreshing it, to see if she had gotten a response. After a few minutes of no response, she would click on one of her friend's pages, post a message there, and then return to her page and scroll around waiting for responses. This is clearly not the way such a resource should be used, you get on, you do what you need to, and you get off. If you are going to just wait around for messages to be posted, you let other people on and get back on when they are done.

After about 15 minutes she got bored scrolling around, so she went to YouTube to watch videos of kittens playing with toys. After 5 minutes or so of this she glanced back at me, at the time I wasn't looking exactly at her. I was looking a little to the right, sitting forward, elbows on knees, hands clasped, and clearly doing nothing other than waiting. I think it occurred to her at this point that it was obvious she was just fucking around with the PC, so she had three options: (1) get off and get back on later, (2) do something other than simply kill time, or (3) try to make it *look* like she was doing something other than kill time and hope that I would give up and go away... like the people before me had.

Guess what option she chose? She turned back to what she was doing and opened a new browser window. The home page was a New Hampshire tourist information page, so she clicked around and pretended to read information about local attractions that she probably would not be visiting. And then, about once every 30 seconds or so, she would switch back to the browser window containing her MySpace page, refresh it, look for new messages, and then minimize it and go back to pretending to read tourist information. Occasionally she had a message, but most of the time she didn't.

I was not going to be bested by this kid, so I remained where I was. I figured I would wait until she looked at me again and if she did I would ask her how long the wait was going to be. I figured I could offer as a consolation that it would take about 15 minutes for me to take care of what I needed to post.

It took another 10 minutes or so before she looked at me again. By now I had been in the information center for almost an hour. This time when she looked at me, I made eye contact with her and made clear from my expression that I was not going to leave.

"Are you waiting to use this computer?" she asked.

Gimme a break. She knew I was waiting. Still I just wanted to get on, so I gave her an out.

"Yes. I need access for about 15 minutes."

"Um, okay, I'm almost done I just need 2 more minutes."

Yeah. Two minutes so you can post a message to whoever you are yakking with on MySpace to let them know you need to get off the computer and you will be back in 15 minutes.

"That's fine thanks."

After about 5 minutes she shut down her MySpace page.

"Ok all set."

"Thanks. I'm just checking my e-mail and posting an article. I should be done in 10 to 15 minutes, and then you can get right back on."

"Okay, thanks." And then as she left "I'll be back in 15 minutes."

She was just letting me know not to take my time. Now if I had been an asshole I'd have sat there and waited for her to get back, then watched videos of kittens on YouTube. But I actually had things I wanted to do that day... and should have long since gotten started doing them.

It took 10 minutes for me to post my material, check my mail, and respond to my messages. And then I left. No kid in sight outside.

But I'll be returning today to post this article, upload 5 covered bridge fisheye-pix to flickr, and check and respond to mail/comments. And of course to minimize my time on the PC I have prepared everything in advance. Should take about 10 minutes again. I wonder if I will have the joy of waiting for her again? My plan this time is to show up at 9 AM. I got the sense this young person doesn't do 9 AM.

The fisheye pix came out nice BTW (1 2 3 4 5). When I get home I'll be able to do some proper post processing. All I have here is IrfanView, which doesn't do well with Canon RAW files. 100% chance of rain today, but it is 8:22 AM and nothing has started yet. So I am probably going to at least *try* to shoot some covered bridges today. Wish me luck!

The Immortal's Dilemma

Abacquer — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:52:12 -0400

NOTE: This story is chapter 2, the sequel to the previous chapter. If you have not already read the first chapter, you will find it here.

Travel via quantum entanglement was essentially instantaneous, but the habitat still needed an hour or so to complete the final leg of the journey--a series of maneuvers using thrusters to approach and dock with Ellan and Tyr's habitat. Mara used the time to prepare herself. As she bathed she considered what Kennis had said about finding a new world upon which to create humans.

The idea was fraught with problems, really. Homo sapiens were what they were largely because of their environment. As products of natural selection and evolution, they were a perfect fit for Earth, and clearly would not be a fit anywhere else. This meant an enclosed environment, planetary engineering, or genetic surgery. An enclosed environment was the most practical, but hardly the sort of thing that humans would be satisfied with. How could they truly call their new world their own if they had to live in a box to dwell there? A large-scale colony habitat could be fashioned in space, but humans would immediately set out to leave it... they might even learn of Earth, go back there and destroy the new life that owned that world in a bid to reclaim the planet.

Engineering a world was possible but would be a massive effort. Altering the orbits and environments of planets was no small task. Given a suitably altered world, Mara would be able to repopulate the environment with the various species of Earth in a few tens-of-thousands of years. But to shift an orbit? Alter the gravitational properties of a planet? Refashion its atmosphere? This would require highly specialized equipment, exorbitant resources, and millions of years. While these things could be had, and the timeframe was largely irrelevant, the process would certainly require the assistance of other people, perhaps as many as a dozen. And wherever minds met, ideas changed--Mara's vision would become the property of a group, and would doubtless be altered. She might not end up with humans at all.

This left genetic surgery--essentially creating creatures that were mostly human, but engineered to dwell on a different world, a world which Mara and Kennis would have to find. One suitable for life, as close as possible to the environment of Earth, but lifeless. Finding such a world was only a matter of time. The real problem was the genomically altered humans--they would not be truly human. Further enough time in the alien environment, no matter how earthlike, would lead to evolution. How would the genomes of Earth compete on another world? Would the primates dominate the world as before? Or would natural selection favor some other species? Genomic preservation through the use of nanos was possible, but nano-enhanced humans would essentially be a different species--Homo lentus--that hardy species of humanity that had extended life spans, improved senses and agility, and a high resistance to disease and adverse environmental conditions. Homo lentus as a species did not last long simply because it rapidly completed the transformation to Homo immortalis. Homo sapiens needed to be created nano-free.

It was a thorny problem and Mara did not see an immediate way to a solution. Nor did she understand truly why she felt this curious motivation to recreate Homo sapiens. [Ten minutes to dock] the habitat informed her, via her network feed. She had spent too much time bathing and the skin of her fingertips had taken on a most amusing wrinkliness. Mara stood as the water drained away in the marble bath, and reached toward the towel bar. Immediately a towel materialized there, synthesized by the nanos which permeated the habitat, and Mara herself.

"It's quite unnecessary, my love, that you should bathe." Kennis said from the doorway.

Mara hadn't noticed Kennis standing there and offered up a small grin. Kennis was gently leaning on the doorframe contemplating Mara, much as Mara had done to her 24,000 years prior. She had not dressed. It was true; the nanos continually cleaned their bodies and their environment. Mara tilted her head to the side and began vigorously drying her hair with the towel.

"It may not be necessary, but I enjoy it. Does it bother you, my love?"

"On the contrary, it may be unnecessary but I could stand here and watch the water play over your body for centuries. I'm quite glad you do it."

"Oh Kennis, you silly girl, centuries in the bath? What would my skin look like after that?"

Kennis laughed then. That gentle but confident laughter that Mara so loved. Kennis was ever her strength. But this time there was a bit of mischief in it.

"I suspect we shall soon find out," she said as she turned to leave, "you'd best finish up. We dock soon."

"Are you not going to dress?" Mara called after her.

"No need," her voice filtered back from the corridor. Well that was also true, Mara supposed, but that would be another unnecessary activity that she nonetheless took pleasure in. With a gentle thud, the habitat rocked slightly as it docked with Ellan and Tyr's home.

Indeed, apart from a necklace of jade beads, Kennis was still nude when Mara rejoined her in the airlock. But Mara was resplendent in a fabulous red and gold dress and her hair had been carefully styled in layered tresses. Her eyes were bordered with dark makeup and gold rings adorned her ears, and her left nostril. She wore a braided gold chain about her neck, and a translucent golden scarf and veil on her head, beaded with small accents of gold and pearls. Golden polish had been applied to her fingernails and toenails, and she wore decorative sandals, also bedecked with gold.

"How do I look, love? Is it all unnecessary?" she asked Kennis, playfully.

"Sadly my darling, yes. You look lovely, but it won't last."

Mara was about to ask why when she noticed a red indicator flashing over the airlock door. The habitats had finished negotiating, and the indicator warned that the environment on the other side of the airlock door would not sustain them. [Destination environment incompatible with your biological requirements. If you wish to proceed please indicate your preference for assistive technology or biological adaptation.]

Just what sort of environment have Ellan and Tyr fashioned for themselves, Mara wondered.

The two immortals spoke simultaneously. "Assistive technology," Mara said. "Biological adaptation," Kennis said. Mara looked at her. "I do not like it when you change your body. I love you as you are."

"It's only for the duration of the visit, love, and I don't wish to lug around gear."

"Gear?" Mara asked and glanced down as a mist of nanos swirled up around her from the floor.

Rapidly the nanos disassembled her dress, sandals, jewelry, and veil, and replaced them with a red and gold wetsuit, swim fins, and small face mask. Special lenses formed over her eyes and air tanks materialized on her back. She looked back at Kennis. [Kennis, please be seated.]

A simple chair materialized beneath Kennis as she sat and waited for the nanos within her to receive their instructions. Mara watched as Kennis' skin changed from its smooth olive shade to a pale turquoise, and rapidly became scaly. Her nose receded and gill-slits formed on her neck. Kennis grinned at her reassuringly as her eyes changed, becoming larger and slightly more bulbous and richly green in the iris. The hair on her head became a deep emerald green as well, while the hair on the rest of her body vanished altogether. Finally her limbs changed--first lengthening in the long bones and digits, and then webbing grew between her fingertips, and her feet flattened into long wide fins.

"Ah, this is why I had to sit." Kennis noted as she gently pedaled her legs. Her voice sounded odd as well, like she was gargling. "Do I make a beautiful fish, my love?"

"I prefer you as you were, but even as a mermaid, you are quite lovely."

"Shall we be fish together?"

"I prefer to remain as I am."

"Suit yourself," Kennis said, glancing at Mara's wetsuit.

"Apparently I have."

[Biological adaptation complete. Kennis, please flex your gills.]

As Kennis wondered how exactly she would do that she found that somehow it was simply second nature... just a variation on breathing. Her gills opened and closed but didn't seem to provide her with any air.

"I can flex them but I am getting lightheaded unless I breathe through my mouth."

[That's fine. Your gills will only function properly underwater, provided you actuate them. If you forget, your nanos will actuate them automatically. Eventually you will use them without thinking. Your lungs will function if you choose to breathe through your mouth. Please do not attempt to do so underwater.]

"Thanks. I'll try to remember that," she said, with a hint of sarcasm.

[Sorry Kennis. Of course you will. Mara is your breathing apparatus functioning to your satisfaction?]

Mara took a breath through her mask and gave a thumbs up sign.

[Mara is your breathing apparatus functioning to your satisfaction?]

"Yes." she transmitted through her network port. "When I raise my thumb like this, it is an affirmative response."

[Noted. Your oxygen tank will self-replenish more rapidly than your lungs will consume air. Please wait while the environment is equalized.]

From small vents in the floor warm briny water with a slight green coloration began filling the chamber. It rose rapidly and quietly and very soon covered their heads.

"Hab, why is this water green?" Kennis gargled.

[It is inhabited by microorganisms native to the oceans of the fourth planet around Regulus. They will not damage your biology.]

"Thank you."

Mara glanced up at her formerly carefully styled hair, now floating about her head like so much seaweed. "Kennis, you knew about this didn't you?" she transmitted through her network port.

Kennis held up one webbed thumb with a half grin. "When I raise my thumb like this..." she began, but by then her lungs were empty of air and so the remaining words were lost.

"Well why did you not tell me so?"

"Because my love, if I had I would not have gotten to see you bathe or see you dressed like a princess from Delhi. A lie of omission, but I made this one only because I so love to see you in all your incarnations. For what it is worth, you appear graceful in your wetsuit," Kennis transmitted.

Mara stood, gloved hands on hips, and simply stared at Kennis.

"Lithe and attractive."

More wordless staring.

"Like a sleek, kind, stunningly brilliant, um... red-and-gold sea lion."

"Kennis. You are incorrigible," Mara transmitted, but she grinned all the same. It was truly impossible for her to be mad at Kennis.

"Hab, how can I vocalize when my lungs are empty?"

[Your larynx has been compartmentalized with your gills. Should you choose to do so you can draw water through your gills into your larynx and expel it through your mouth while vocalizing. You should find this form of vocalization most proximate to your original voice. Your nanos will manage this function for you until you are able to do it yourself.]

Kennis tried to speak aloud, and found her gills drawing water in quite automatically.

"Ah, thank you Hab. That's much better," she responded her voice sounding quite normal.

[You're welcome Kennis. Equalization is complete. Please enjoy your visit with Ellan and Tyr.]

With a whir, the airlock door opened to the dimly lit interior of the other habitat. Immediately Mara and Kennis found themselves surrounded by all manner of strange aquatic creatures. Tiny orange three-legged squid, golden sheet like animals with no visible fins, globe-shaped creatures which vaguely resembled jellyfish, and several varieties of what appeared to be fish, but not like the fishes of Earth. These creatures had a surfeit of fins, to the point where they almost looked feathered instead of scaled. Each had a number of greater fins which were like long whirling streamers--they did not appear to be useful for locomotion, perhaps they were for mating displays. These fish appeared in many colors and sizes, from small black ones the size of a fingernail to red or purple hand-sized ones and ever increasing combinations of size and color. There were two that were at least 5 feet long, all white, with their great streamer-fins swirling about them. The walls crawled with strange shellfish and three-legged starfish, tubes from which the heads of snakelike creatures would repeatedly rush out and then as quickly retract inward and dimly luminescent balls of fluff rolling about in long strands of grass like sea-plants.

Ellan and Tyr were nowhere in sight. "Strange that they would not be here to greet us," Mara transmitted to Kennis.

[Greetings Mara and Kennis. Welcome to the habitat of Ellan and Tyr. You have been granted full guest access to all habitat functions.]

"Thank you Hab," Mara transmitted, "where are Ellan and Tyr?"

[I have been instructed not to answer that question.]

Kennis laughed. "My love, I think Tyr is having one of her games with us: hide and seek. Let us hope she is here in the habitat. The last time we played hide and seek with Tyr, it involved several hundred years exploring the ice fissures of Europa."

"It could be fun. Shall we look?"

"Why not?" Kennis shrugged and then swam a few meters into the habitat, her strong legs propelling her forward. She stopped and hovered there glancing left and right as curious fish approached her and then darted away. Truly Mara could not help but marvel at how beautiful she was, even in this merfolk form. Their habitat understood Kennis and Mara's tastes and had made the changes as aesthetically as possible. Once again Mara appreciated this as her love hovered, her skin covered in turquoise scales, but with a pattern of indigo diamonds running down her spine and terminating just above her buttocks. Each diamond was perhaps 10 cm high by 3 cm wide, except the last, which was twice the size of the others.

"Are you coming?" Kennis asked, turning to look at her. At the noise the fish retreated en-masse, only to return again, slowly.

"Yes of course, just contemplating you my love."

Mara kicked off from the floor and joined Kennis inside and together they began by swimming the periphery of the habitat. Unlike their own home, Ellan and Tyr's seemed to be configured as a single chamber. The habitats were of comparable sizes, about 300 meters long by 200 meters wide by 10 meters high, which seemed all the more enormous when the entire space was a single chamber. There was nothing to compartmentalize the space by function, and no furniture of any sort was evident. The floor seemed to be covered with fine sand and outcroppings of stone upon which the various sea-life grew.

"It's basically a giant aquarium," Kennis noted, echoing Mara's thoughts.

"It's marvelous isn't it? Not the sort of environment I would choose to live in, but still it is quite amazing. Such varieties of life."

Kennis nodded. "Yes, I--oh, Mara we seem to have acquired some friends."

Mara looked back to find they were being trailed by a school of yellow streamer-fish, several red fish, perhaps six blue fish, and the two largest fish they had spotted earlier.

"Curious creatures," Mara transmitted. Then she removed her mask briefly and said "Boo!" At this all of the fish scattered except the two largest, their great white fins fanning out gently around them. "Kennis, these ones do not fear us."

"At that size, it's not surprising. Besides we likely have no analog in their environment, so unless we do something obviously threatening, they have no reason to fear us."

Mara swam closer to the two giant fish. The fish backed off slightly, but did not retreat.

"On the other hand, Mara, we may have reason to fear them."

"I hardly think Ellan and Tyr would fill their habitat with dangerous creatures and then invite us to simply wander about without warning. I sense no threat from these animals."

[You are not in danger in this habitat. None of the creatures here see you as a food source.]

"See?"

"Well..."

"Oh Kennis, ever my protector," Mara noted with a smile. She swam a little closer to the large streamer-fish, and again they backed away slightly, but not as far as she approached. She was closing the distance. She took off her mask again, letting it dangle. "It's alright," she cooed quietly, "I will not harm you." She held her mask to her face long enough to take a breath and then swam a little closer, again murmuring gentle reassurances. The fish did not retreat further.

"I think they must be a mated pair, Kennis. Where are their young do you think?"

"Perhaps all around us," Kennis transmitted, not wanting to alarm the fish now that Mara was so close.

"You think these colorations might denote age rather than species?"

"Anything is possible, I suppose. I note that each successively larger specimen is a lighter shade than the previous. The smallest ones are black, and these two are the only white ones I see. It could perhaps indicate age."

Closer and closer she edged, until she was within arm's reach of the pair. Carefully she removed one glove and reached out to touch one of the great fish.

"Mara..." Kennis warned, "I wish you wouldn't."

"Hush Kennis. It's all right."

Her hand finally settled gently on the side of the fish's face. There were no gills evident. The skin of the animal was warm to the touch, and the multitude of tiny fins gently undulated under her palm in a peculiar rhythm. It tickled and Mara smiled. Then her brow furrowed as she noted a distinct pattern in the beats of the tiny fins. It is not regular, and not random, Mara thought to herself. Then she realized what it was and drew her hand away in surprise.

"Kennis, these are sentient creatures," she transmitted.

"But there is no mention of sentient life on Regulus-4 in any of Ellan's or Tyr's books, or indeed in any books ever published."

"Maybe they have not told anyone else of this species. But they are sentient. This being just tapped out a series of primes on my palm."

"What?"

The fish she had touched suddenly drew closer and stretched out one of its great fins toward her. "Kennis!" Mara said in alarm, forgetting to transmit. The fish froze but did not retreat.

"Mara are you alright?" Kennis said agitatedly.

[Mara is not in danger. These fish will not harm her.]

"Hab, why are the sentient variety of this genus not on record in the literature?" Kennis asked, a bit sharply.

[I have been instructed not to answer that question.]

"Well what is the exact nature of this species?"

[I have been instructed not to answer that question.]

"Kennis, it's alright, I was just startled. Of course they are as curious about me as I am about them. I touched this fish, and it is only fair that it should be allowed to touch me," she transmitted.

Mara took another breath from her mask. "It's alright," she said soothingly, "go ahead." The fish continued reaching toward her and gently stroked the side of her face, once downward and three times up. Mara's brow furrowed again and again the fish repeated the almost loving caress, once downward and three times up. It was then as Mara gazed into the fish's eyes her own widened suddenly in recognition. The fish drifted in close and planted three soft kisses on her forehead. One over her left eye, one over her right, and a third higher up in the center--a triangle of kisses. A thin whisper escaped its lips, uttering three distinct phrases--one for each kiss.

"Sim salem, sim salom, sim salaam."

Then it waited a moment, drew close one more time and, as Mara knew it would, planted one last kiss in the center of the triangle. They spoke the fourth phrase together.

"Sim sey."

She finally understood, and had she not been underwater, the tears she was shedding would be evident to all. But the fish knew.

"A Tyr so zuzu," it said, and then backed away from her. As one, the two fish turned and began swimming slowly toward the center of the habitat.

Kennis' scaly arms wrapped around her from behind and held her close.

"That was amazing my love. You actually communicated with it? What a remarkable creature!"

"Yes, she is."

"Oh is that the female?"

"They are both female."

"I heard her speaking to you, but the language was not on record."

"This is true, but I know it nonetheless. She said 'sim salem, sim salom, sim salaam'--'love the mind, love the body, love the being'."

"And 'sim sey'?"

"Love you. And then she saw I was weeping and said 'a Tyr so zuzu'."

"Meaning?"

"No tears for Tyr."

"Ah, is she taking us to Tyr then?"

"Kennis, she is Tyr. And I assume the other one is Ellan."

"What?"

"We have found them, come, let's join them habcenter. It's been too long."

She reattached her mask, and the conversation continued as they swam after Ellan and Tyr, with Kennis vocalizing and Mara transmitting.

"I had no idea such extensive biological adaptation was possible. All the adaptives I've seen have been humanoid." Kennis observed.

"You mean you haven't been playing along this whole time?"

"Not at all. I knew Ellan and Tyr were studying the sea creatures of Regulus-4, and I knew they dwelled in an aqueous hab, but I did not know about this. Apparently they have modeled their entire biology on the species native to Regulus-4. Doubtless they could swim its seas unaided and blend right in. Amazing."

"My poor Tyr."

Kennis seemed not to notice. They were arriving at the center of the hab. Here the stones formed a semicircle. Opposite the entrance of the semicircle stood three triangular stones. Two next to each other and just touching and a third balanced atop them so the apex of the two beneath supported it by the ends of its base. This formed a fourth triangle of empty space between them, which pointed downward. Ellan and Tyr waited by this sculpture, hovering in place with their undulating fins.

"Kennis, my friend, welcome. You have found us." Ellan said, her voice issuing clearly from the fish on the left.

"It was Mara who found you, really, she somehow intuited your mate was Tyr, and concluded by deduction that you were Ellan. I confess I did not recognize you."

"I am not surprised. If anyone would recognize Tyr, Mara would."

Kennis glanced back at Mara, who seemed to have stopped at the entrance to the semicircle. Then she looked back at the sculpture and nodded to Tyr while pointing to the lower left, then the lower right, and then the top triangle.

"Salem, Salom, and Salaam?"

"You are most astute Kennis. Yes, the triangles represent the mind, the body, and the being in that configuration." She turned toward Mara. "You told."

"I did not."

"Then how does she know the tongue?"

"You spoke it in her presence. I was obliged to translate your words for her. Kennis is brilliant, and exceptionally gifted at language."

"No doubt she is."

"Love, what tongue do you speak of?" Ellan asked Tyr.

"Amaratyr."

"I've never heard of this tongue. Have you Kennis?"

"No."

"It is a language Mara and I created," she glanced at Mara, "for each other."

"Oh of course," Ellan said, "that makes perfect sense."

"It does?" Kennis asked, glancing back at Mara.

"Kennis, my dear, there was a time before our time together you know. Amaratyr is a lover's tongue. Tyr was my first love. She and I were together for 57,122 years. We parted 488,905 years ago but remain friends."

"You never mentioned this to me before."

"My love, be not jealous, what matters is our life with each other. We agreed not to discuss previous relationships a quarter-million years ago."

"I'm not jealous, just feeling a bit daft. The last time we visited our friends I joked with Tyr about your lovable quirks and idiosyncrasies, and probably bored her to tears with information she already knew."

"You didn't bore me Kennis; I have enjoyed our discussions and our correspondence immensely. Mara has never stopped being a favorite topic of mine. She will always hold a place in my heart. I took pleasure in seeing her through your eyes."

Mara grinned, but remained at the entrance to the circle.

"My goodness Mara, will you please come in? You were happy to touch me when you thought I was a flamboyant tuna, now that I am one of your best friends you are afraid to approach? Shall we have the hab reassure you again?"

[You are in no danger Mara. Tyr will not--]

"Hab, I was speaking rhetorically."

[Sorry.]

Mara swam into the circle, and Ellan approached her.

"Mara it has been too long. I have so enjoyed your books."

"And I yours Ellan. I visited Ganymede after you published your geological survey. It was fascinating."

"Indeed she spent seventy years there," Kennis added.

"You are too kind. I caught the dedication in your book on Earth's satellite Luna. Thank you."

Mara nodded then glanced at Tyr.

"Yes you must approach me too. Just like the last time we visited."

Kennis and Ellan laughed.

"Go on Mara, what troubles you? You and Tyr were practically inseparable when they last visited us,” Kennis said.

Mara did not respond, but communicated volumes to Kennis in her expression.

"Come on Ellan, I think these two need to speak privately. Why don't you take me on a tour of these many creatures you share your home with?"

"I would be delighted. Will you be well, love?" She asked.

"Yes, my dear, go on. Kennis has published some works on the former sea life of Earth; I think you will find her very informed. There will be much to share."

Tyr watched them swim away, and then turned back to Mara. "She's lovely, Mara. You chose well."

Mara looked at her.

"But that is not what you wish to discuss is it? Nor have you suddenly had second thoughts about us. This is about me, isn't it?"

Mara nodded.

"You have been wrestling with a dilemma. The idea of recreating Homo sapiens has caught your fancy, but Earth is no longer available. And that leaves you only three options, of which the most viable involves genetically modified humans."

"You are incredibly perceptive, that has indeed been a dilemma for me. But it is not what it is bothering me now."

"Oh but it is. You see the problem is not what you think it is. The problem is that you are taking a superficial view."

"Excuse me?"

"My dear, you are disturbed because I have altered my biology to this form--the Vipara, one of the most beautiful fish on Regulus-4. You love me--but as I was. In this form you see only what you have lost. No hand to hold, no lips to kiss, no hair to smell, yes?"

"My Tyr was human."

"And Ellan's Tyr is not? Am I not human? Am I not truly human? How far has our species come that you should still cling to romantic notions about meat? The being is paramount, not the body. The brain within this Vipara body is human. The mind within this body is human. And you know it."

"I still miss you as you were."

"Love, you knew I was Tyr. I didn't have to tell you. I saw it in your eyes. You saw me in mine. I am still the Tyr you love, in every bit of my being. This outward appearance is only that. It is not healthy for you to be so preoccupied with superficialities. Come here."

Mara approached, and Tyr wrapped her great fins around and around her. Her body temperature was higher than Mara's and Mara felt quite warm and safe in her embrace... almost swaddled.

"Would you not wish to hold Kennis like this? Would you not wish for Kennis to hold you like this?"

Mara said nothing, but luxuriated in the warmth and closeness.

"It is not arms and thudding hearts that make an embrace a human embrace. It is the human mind that does so. Understand, my love?"

Mara nodded and Tyr released her. Her heart really was thudding. Tyr had been an amazing partner to her--a brilliant mind--but in the end, Mara could not provide what Tyr needed and so they had agreed to separate. There was no denying the attraction was still there, of course.

"It is this romantic superficiality that caused you to enter my home with that archaic wetsuit and breathing apparatus, instead of more sensibly adjusting your biology to suit the environment. I suppose it bothered you that Kennis altered herself."

Tyr's perception was as sharp as ever. When they were together Mara often found that Tyr could explain her own feelings better than she herself could.

"Yes."

"You deny yourself the full range of human experience then. When I swim it is like flight. I perceive the motion of the fluid in ways you do not, I see beauty you do not. When I choose to dance there are so many things I can do with this body that I could not do with my bipedal primate body. Biological adaptation is now a human ability, why not use it? Indeed one might argue that to not use it is to not be fully human."

"I had not considered that perspective."

"Well then, a fresh perspective makes a fine seed for new thought. So let us not belabor the point. But consider it. And you might find that doing so solves your dilemma--genetically modified humans are still humans, as long as they possess human minds."

How simply she put it. She was right, Mara realized, she had been taking a superficial view.

"Although personally if you want to create humans, I think you should just breed with Kennis."

"Not that again. You sound like my mothers."

"Well okay. Enough preaching for one visit I suppose." Tyr said with a laugh. "It is good to see you again Mara."

"It is nice to see you too, Tyr."

Ellan was explaining to Kennis the chemical pathways that gave rise to the bioluminescence of the Vurn Orbs nesting on the habitat walls when a voice called out from behind them.

"Kennis, Ellan, shall we go for a swim?"

It was Mara with Tyr chasing behind her. Kennis did a double take, as she had never seen Mara with adapted biology. But Mara had indeed changed herself to match Kennis in appearance, but had chosen to give herself a golden coloration with dark amber spots. Kennis stared open-mouthed.

"What? I tired of lugging around gear. Am I that repulsive?"

"You are glorious, my love." She turned to Tyr, "I don't know what you said to her, but I have long worried that she was missing out on some great experiences, so whatever it was, thank you."

"Yes, thank you Tyr," Mara added and then turned back to Kennis, "she also may have solved my other dilemma."

"Clearly. We can now see what too much time in the bath will do to your skin."

"Oh my," Ellan said, "Kennis you are incorrigible."

"You have no idea," Mara said, but with an inexhaustible grin she continued, "Tyr has invited us to swim in the open seas of Regulus-4. Will you come, Kennis?"

"My dear of course I will come."

"Well let's go then. I want to swim!" and off she raced.

"I think perhaps she was a fish all along." Kennis said with a laugh.

"Weren't we all?" Ellan asked.

Cut Off From the Hive Mind

Abacquer — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:15:00 -0400

So day one of my vacation was uneventful, except that I am bothered by not being able to access the internet. I guess it has so become a part of my life to be deeply connected with various remote sources of information that it is positively annoying to be cut off.

I'd like to be able to check my e-mail just in case a customer places an order on my photography business website, but I can't. I'd like to be able to check my friend's blogs and find out what is going on with them, but I can't. I'd like to be able to catch up on my discussion fora on flickr, but I can't. I'd like to check my twitter and my GoogleReader, but I can't.

*sigh* This sucks.

I woke up at 3:30 AM (so really this is day two of my vacation) and remembered that my Verizon LG phone is supposed to have some kind of web service (which I have never used). I tried it and found that I needed to pay $1.99 for 24 hours of web access. I figured it was worth $2 to find out exactly what I could do, so I opted to sign up for 24 hours. I was promptly informed that my order could not be placed at this time, and told to try again later.

So I repeated this process a few times, and eventually (FINALLY) managed to get to a page which said my order had been accepted. I was instructed to shut off my phone, turn it back on, and then wait "a few minutes" before using the service. I was further told that if I saw the "Verizon Web 2.0" signup page on my next access attempt, then my order was still processing and I would have to wait a little longer.

That was 45 minutes ago and I still don't have web access. So I gave up and started writing this... using notepad... knowing it would probably be 7 days before I could post it. How annoying. I think one of my missions today is to try and find someplace in New Hampshire where I can get internet access. Either a library or an internet cafe (if they have such things here) or something. I can try asking at the office here, but I don't expect much luck.

I seem to recall asking them last year and getting a mystified "why would you want to get on the internet--you're on vacation" sort of response. I can't really buy into that silliness... I'm sitting in a cabin with electricity, beds, a kitchen including a stove, sink, refrigerator, and microwave, hot water, fans, and a television with built in DVD player. Hell I even still have my annoyingly-web-useless cell phone! I'm on vacation? From what? Beyond a far less comfortable bed, how is this any different from being at my house? I suppose the fact that I'm maybe 100 yards from the highway here and can listen to cars zooming by all through the night is a little different. Ready access to a swimming pool is also a little different, but other than that all I can see is that I've traded a living space with far more entertainment value for a much smaller living space with far less, at considerable expense.

My main reason for being here is to be with Patty. She doesn't see our house as a place of comfort or pleasure, but instead as a long list of chores that need to be done. It's true that there is always something that needs to be done, and she seems far more acutely aware of that than I. When she's here she's on vacation from the house. I have to respect that. Somehow, the exact state of things that drives me crazy, is precisely what relaxes her, and vice versa. Oh well... that's what marriage is like sometimes... doing things you don't enjoy in order to make your spouse happy, finding the enjoyment in the happiness of your spouse. Methinks I need to work on that a little. Maybe a little cabin off the highway in New Hampshire is the right place to do it.

Creepy

Abacquer — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:02:00 -0400

What is it that prevents some people from realizing when they are being creepy? I recently uploaded some photos to my flickr photostream from a birthday party I attended. Then later I was tooling around in the Fitchburg Photo Pool and saw some cool architectural photos, so I left a comment telling the photographer I thought the shots were nice.

Within minutes I had three e-mails. The first was flickr informing me that the photographer had added me as a contact. The second seemed nice enough, the photographer wanted to talk about other landmarks that were good to shoot. The third seemed a little peculiar and forward for someone who doesn't know me from dirt:

"Hey how do you know that girl XXXXX in your photostream? She's a real knockout!"

So I responded about Fitchburg landmarks, and on the second item, remarked just that she was a friend of a friend, and that she was very photogenic.

Within minutes, two more e-mails. More chatting about landmarks and camera gear as well, and the second:

"Man is she cute. Hmm."

So I'm getting a little weirded out by this dude. I mean, if you are friends with someone it's one thing to compliment someone they know once, but if you barely know a person it's kind of creepy to do it repeatedly. So I decided I didn't really want to keep talking to this guy, and chose not to respond.

A few minutes later, another e-mail comes along:

"Do you think she would let me take some shots of her sometime?"

Yeah. That will happen. She's going to pose for some stranger on the internet because a friend of a friend photographed her at a party. Who asks a question like this of someone they barely know? I have a terrible time just asking people I do know if they will pose for me.

Any way, I really didn't want to talk to creepy dude any more, I knew if I called him on it I'd get assured up and down that his request was completely innocent in nature. As if it is quite normal to ask strangers on the internet if you can photograph their friends. I mean seriously, if you are THAT desperate for models, there are places to go (http://www.modelmayhem.com/). So I just blocked him... that will be the end of that, thanks.

I generally think it wise, when someone adds you as a contact on flickr, or favorites one of your photos, to check their profile and see what groups they subscribe to, and to also check their favorites. It's usually quite clear when they are using flickr for something other than an appreciation of great (or even mediocre) photography. If you see anything that looks creepy, it's probably a good idea to block them.

Creepy dude didn't have any bizarre group subscriptions or prurient favorites that I could see, but his behavior was enough to warrant the block IMHO. The only thing his profile had to say about him other than a laundry list of his gear was that he was "Male and single".

Call me "Male and unsurprised".

Name of the Earth

Abacquer — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:07:13 -0400

Mara finished her book and wandered into the atrium Kennis had entered a few days earlier.

"What are you doing Kennis?"

"I am watching the moon."

"Why?"

"It pleases me to do so, Mara."

"Will you do so awhile longer then?"

"For at least a thousand more years."

Folding her delicate arms, Mara leaned against the doorway and stared at her. Kennis sat, legs folded, mouth slightly open, her olive skin and brown eyes awash in the moonlight that poured through the windows of the atrium and bathed her slight features.

"Will you stand there and study me all night?" Kennis asked without turning to look at her.

"Yes, for a thousand years as it so pleases me."

With a faint exhale Kennis smiled and glanced down with a smirk.

"My love you have forgotten the moon..." Mara admonished coyly.

She looked back at Mara, with her hair rimmed by the moonlight. Her eyes, even darker in silhouette, held a mischeivous promise floating in a sea of devotion. "But I have remembered something more important."

With a playful glance over her shoulder Mara feigned ignorance. "Whatever could that be? A star perhaps? I may have spotted one out of the library window."

In a fluid motion Kennis rose, her silk kimono changing from aqua to burgundy as she approached. Her message was clear, Mara looked down and changed her simple white sari into a demure amber robe in response.

"And after that, shall we sleep?" Mara asked.

"It has been many years."

"Seven hundred and twelve."

"Do you remember how?"

"Do you remember the last time either of us forgot anything?"

Kennis leaned in close, her kimono faintly disappating in wisps of wine-scented mist, "I forgot the moon a moment ago." The kiss was sweet, long, and pulled gently at something deep within Mara... something she had indeed forgotten.

For many days afterward they laid on the couch by the atrium window in each others arms, their garments a pool of particulate mist on the floor nearby, and watched the moon together.

"What did you write about?" Kennis finally asked.

"When?"

"The day you entered the atrium and spoke to me. I assume you wrote a book that day."

"I write a book every day."

"And on that day?"

"I wrote about humans."

"What species?"

"Homo sapiens."

"Ah, our progenitor species. May I read it?" Kennis asked.

"My love you may read any book I publish, and even those I don't."

Kennis closed her eyes and became quiet. Mara stared at the moon. Kennis was right, it was pleasing to do. Perhaps her next book would be about the moon. Kennis smiled and opened her eyes.

"That was wonderful, you almost make them appealing."

"There was among them everything that gave rise to us, my love, to you, and I find much appealing in you."

"And I in you, Mara, but there was also among them everything that led to their extinction."

"Nothing that couldn't be cured with education."

Kennis raised one eyebrow at her.

"Well, " she smirked, "maybe that and a little genetic surgery."

"Shall we try to repopulate the species?"

"I think I would like that, as long as we don't have to impersonate deities."

"Shall we do it tomorrow?"

"No, Earth must process the poisons in its environment before humans can survive there."

"Nanos."

"No. No nanos. Else they would not be Homo sapiens, but Homo lentus." Mara said.

"Not without genetic surgery--"

"Which the nanos would automatically perform."

Kennis thought a moment. "Shall we create them on the moon then? Construct an environment for them?"

"Humans belong on Earth. They are bound to that world, genetically suited to live there. This was the birthplace of Homo immortalis--but we are suited to dwell anywhere."

"Do you not worry that the humans will simply make wars again? Poison their world again? I deeply felt your sentiment for them, but they are barely out of the realm of the apes, they will fight over anything, and are able to maintain such cognitive dissonance that they will destroy their own environment and doom their own species. Do you really think education can save their species, preserve it?"

"Why not?"

"Because, my dear, education was what caused the division in the species last time. Homo lentus was the result of those humans who actively worked to improve their species. The only thing that 'preserved' Homo sapiens were those who willfully remained uneducated out of fealty to mythological creatures. Right up until they destroyed themselves. It's perverse to be favored by natural selection because of your intelligence and refuse to use it--a lemming gene at work perhaps."

"I should still like to try."

Kennis closed her eyes briefly and then reopened them. "Latest estimates are 36,000 years before the Earth has processed all of the poisons in its environment."

"Shall we sleep until then?"

"I think I should like that. What books will you write while we sleep?"

"I have three I started while we made love that I need to finish, and then I think I shall write one about the Moon."

"You didn't finish? Was I that distracting?"

"Yes, although one I cannot finish."

"Why not?"

"I don't know how it ends." Mara yawned. "I have not felt tired for many centuries. This is a peculiar sensation."

She reached out with one arm and touched a finger to the pool of mist on the floor. Immediately the mist swam over them and solidified into a patchwork quilt of subtle grays resembling the lunar surface.

Kennis watched Mara sleep for a day and then turned her attention to the Earth outside the atrium window, shrouded in soupy haze. She doubted the wisdom of returning to the planet the species that had proven so ill-equipped to look after it. Mara's book about the moon was published while Kennis contemplated the Earth, and Kennis found it as fascinating as Ellan's volume on the geology of Ganymede and forwarded it to her to read. Mara's voice floated unbidden into her consciousness, woven into the stream of information entering her network receiver. I thought you were going to sleep with me.

Sorry love, I was thinking. I loved your book on the moon.

Do you not wish to sleep?

I might enjoy looking at you more than sleeping.

Come nestle in my mind with me, let our thoughts tangle together in wonderful disarray. There will be plenty of time to sort them out later.

I can do that with my eyes open, Mara.

Try feeling tired. Your biology will take over from there.

Kennis felt tired, and soon she slept. Once she was no longer conscious, all of the furnishings apart from the couch and blanket immediately dissolved into mist and disappeared through vents near the floor to be stored until needed. The habitat maintained its position automatically and carefully so that the light reflected from the moon would pass through the atrium window and illuminate the photosynthetic skin of the sleepers for many thousands of years.

"Mara, wake up." Kennis said.

Mara opened her eyes. "Did I oversleep?"

"No. It has only been 24,078 years, but there has been a development."

"What happened?"

"See for yourself." Kennis said, indicating the window.

Mara glanced out and was shocked to discover the Earth was unshrouded and most of the landmasses were a glorious shade of orange.

"Is this a predicted stage in the processing of the poisons?"

"No. There is a new species of life on this planet borne out of the poisonous environment, which has converted the pollutants into new compounds and created a new state of equilibrium."

"Suitable for Homo sapiens?"

"Not remotely. I checked with Ellan and Tyr and they have modeled it is likely that this species will achieve sentience in a few million years. I'm afraid that Earth does not belong to Homo sapiens anymore."

"No return to Eden, " Mara said softly. A small tear travelled down her cheek. She touched it and glanced at her finger, with a faint mote of puzzlement on her brow.

"I assume the moon is off limits, then?" Kennis asked.

"Of course, it belongs to this new species." Mara said.

"Perhaps another world? There are thousands that might suffice."

"Perhaps. I think I am going to miss looking at the moon."

"We can remain here for a few million years and contemplate it. Maybe get to know this new species when they venture forth from their world."

"No. Let's leave. This was our birthplace, and it is about time we left the nursery and explored our universe. It has been nearly 100,000 years since we last saw Ellan and Tyr."

"What about making humans?"

"Call it a romantic notion."

"Your book on the idea received some great reviews."

"Another time maybe."

Sensing the subject closed for the time being, Kennis closed her eyes and cast out the sensor net.

"Ellan and Tyr are at Regulus. They would love to have us for a few years. We can be under way immediately if you like."

Mara glanced thoughtfully at the Earth for a moment and then rose from the couch, wrapped the blanket around her and left the atrium.

"Well I'd best make myself presentable then."

In the harsh light of Sol, the habitat finally pivoted away from the moon, wavered in many shades and colors, and then vanished.

The orange world waited for those who would give it a new name.

NOTE: I wrote the above story fragment off the cuff in a forum I frequent. You can find the original post here.

Making Product

Abacquer — Tue, 27 May 2008 09:08:44 -0400

Well, I spent my spare time last week working hard on the photos from the dance recital. All in all I was happy although many of the images were too blurry to use. The problem was my shutter speed, it just wasn't fast enough, but I am still learning. On Saturday I shot a play in a dark restaurant and got much better looking images by pushing up the shutter speed. Gotta get to work on those images next. All unpaid work of course, but I continue to hold out hope that good things will happen if I keep trying and keep talking to people about what I do.

Never heard back from the director of the dance recital, but I'm not too surprised. I don't think anyone has ever called me back after an initial contact. I have gotten e-mails from some people to say they really like the photos I took for them (for free) but sometimes not even that. People are busy, and I think most don't realize the amount of effort that goes into making a good photo. Anyway, as I promised the director of the dance recital, I put together a set of discs containing the best images from the show and have sent those off to her today along with a letter requesting her permission to post them on my business website. For the amount of work put into this production, I hope that she at least calls me back, even if it is only to say "no". Click these thumbnails to see the letter and the CD's (dancers faces are obscured):

The problem here is that (for both the recital shoot and the play shoot and probably just in general) the groups that put on these productions already have a photographer. From what I've seen so far though, these "staff photographers" shoot posed shots backstage, as opposed to shots of the actual performance--I suspect because it's hella easier to get a really nice shot in a controlled environment than it is actually during the performance.

After I shot the play this past weekend, one of the actors' parents caught a glimpse of some of the photos on my camera and immediately asked if she could buy a CD of the pictures... so hopefully something will come of that. I also talked to the people who ran the play--they pretty much immediately told me they had a staff photographer, but when I showed them a few of the pictures in-camera they seemed really impressed. So I'll spend another week churning through those pictures and hopefully something will come of that. We'll see. No expectations.

Watching Street Photographers at Work

Abacquer — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:39:13 -0400

Street photography isn't really my thing, but I try to do it from time to time. The problem I have is that I am very shy about taking pictures of people without their permission, even though by and in large, I have a right to do so in public. I find if you get permission, the subject changes and loses the look that drew you to the photo in the first place.

This is why I am always amazed (or cringing) when I see real street photographers at work. I am just not as brave as these guys:

(video) Joel Meyerowitz On Street Photography

(video) WNYC Streetshots: Bruce Gilden

More Unpaid Work - But Perhaps Something Will Happen?

Abacquer — Sat, 17 May 2008 13:03:48 -0400

My canoe outing pictures were apparently a huge hit. I asked my wife to deliver the following message to the teacher: "I'm glad you like the pictures, and I would appreciate it if you could put in a good word with the principal about me making them available to the parents on my business website." No further news on that front.

I shot another dance recital (this time at Dartmouth Middle School) last nite. I really need to carry more CF cards, things got tight toward the end of the program. Apparently 8 Gb of storage isn't enough for an intense 2-hour shoot. Shooting was so-so--the auditorium had no photographer's booth and was pretty much wall to tall audience. In addition the stage was low and the sound and light crew sitting in front of the stage had their heads blocking the view of the dancers. The light stands stood in front of the stage, as did the speakers and floor lights. All in all trying to shoot in the room was a nightmare. I spent a solid two hours squatting in the aisle between the front row of seats and trying to dodge the optical obstacle course between me and the dancers.

So a lot of my shots were not keepers, but I did get some really nice shots and I think after the post processing I'll have 100 to 200 decent photos. After the show I talked to the producer and she seemed (a) very friendly, (b) somewhat receptive, and (c) really busy. But I managed to explain to her that I have a business website and would be willing to host my photos of the event so that parents could buy prints, and that I would be willing to give her copies of the pictures for free. She didn't commit either way but did take my card and said she would contact me on Monday. Hopefully I'll hear from her and maybe get my first gallery of photos for sale up on the Sagewood Site.

Other work - I was asked to shoot some staff photos for my employer. Technically, I guess you could say this is paid work, since I am salaried, but I'm not choosing to call it that. It was an opportunity though to test my mobile studio set up. I pretty much had a conference room set up with standing lights and reflectors in about a half hour and then shot sporadically over the next 3 hours. It was actually a pretty small shoot considering the number of employees who had to be photographed (about 20 or so), but the good side of it was a lot of my coworkers got to see me working and the equipment I was working with and it helped (I hope) to drill home the idea that this isn't just intended to be a hobby.

I do have one coworker who has asked me to shoot some family portraits for her (she's trying to work out a date) and others who have hinted that they might be interested. We'll see if any of that pans out.

Red States and Republicans Do Not Have a Monopoly on Knuckledraggers

Abacquer — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:51:05 -0400

"What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous ... it's dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists! This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God. Get out of that seat ... You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon."

-- Rep. Monique Davis (D-Chicago), speaking to atheist Rob Sherman

If Rob Sherman was a Jew or a Muslim or a Methodist or anything but an atheist, Representative Monique Davis would be openly castigated from every direction (and deservedly so). But it's okay to hate atheists here. Welcome to my country.

Mr. Sherman was testifying to the Illinois House State Government Administration Committee about a one million dollar grant slated to go to a Baptist church that was trying to rebuild from a fire. As you know churches already don't pay taxes, so it seems rather curious that anyone would think it okay for tax money to go to a church--especially in a country where church and state are supposed to be separate. The grant money story is pretty smelly all on its own, but I am not at all surprised that any outspoken atheist would have an opinion on the matter, and might choose to testify to government bodies on the matter.

But Monique Davis feels otherwise. She feels atheists have no right to testify to the American government. And for that matter we are destroyers, and dangerous to children. And it's okay to censor or silence us. Oh and the country was founded on Christian principles.

How does someone like this even get elected in the first place? Shame on you Monique Davis. You madam, are no Democrat.

Hat tip to the excellent science blog Pharyngula for the story. You won't be hearing about it on Fox.

Happy Birthday Patty!

Abacquer — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 10:56:53 -0400

Today the lady of my life is another year older.

Happy birthday hon!

Let's go out to breakfast!